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October 2013 Moms
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Separation anxiety at night

ballygirlballygirl member
in October 2013 Moms
For the past couple weeks Haley as become extremely clingy at night and has developed bad separation anxiety.  This is really uncharacteristic of her.  They've both been really good, independent sleepers for months now and of the two, Lizzy was the one who occasionally was a little clingy.  Haley just always wanted to be left alone at night.  I'm not sure what has caused this or how to deal with it.  She literally will not let me put her down, she grabs onto my shirt and won't let go and screams. I rock her (which is also new - she used to hate rocking) until she's asleep but as soon as I try to put her down, she wakes up in a panic and screams.  When she wakes at night it starts over again.  The last few nights I've ended up in the spare bedroom with her in the bed with me, which has been terrible.  I don't know how you bedsharers do it - she flops around like a dying fish all night.  I got close to zero sleep. So, is this a developmental phase?  Am I going to be starting bad sleep habits again if I continue to put her in the bed with me?  I feel like we've taken a step backwards here and I don't know if its temporary and she'll eventually get back to normal, or if we should do some sleep training again to get her back to her old independent self.  Any thoughts?

 

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Re: Separation anxiety at night

  • MargaretC5MargaretC5 member
    DS went thru a similar phase and we ended up bedsharing for a few weeks. His mood did improve but then he was still expecting to sleep with us. We tried a little sleep training to get him back in his crib but it did not go well and he just came back to our bed. We tried again a week later but I put my pillow in his crib and that worked great. He cried for about 5 minutes then went right to sleep. I tried taking my pillow back after a few nights but he would not sleep in his crib until I gave him the pillow. Maybe I should figure out some other object besides a pillow but it is working and he is old enough I am not to worried about him having a pillow.
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  • mancila60mancila60 member
    Same thing here too. We were bed sharing for a few nights but now back to normal and actually sleeping better. Maybe teething or growth spurt? That's what we chalked it up to. Hang in there, hopefully it will go away soon.
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  • ballygirlballygirl member
    @y0urmom‌ I've been giving them gas drops too. Lizzy has had several freak outs MOTN and then she'll fart and pass out. I notice H finally fell asleep last night after she farted.  I wonder if it is the dairy.  They usually get a bottle before bed but maybe I should drop that.  hmmm. Something to try.

     I did let H cry the other night out of desperation and it only took about 5 or 6 minutes, but then she was up 90 minutes later doing the same thing.  We did CIO around 6 months and it wasn't too bad and only took a couple nights, so maybe I'll have to do it again if this lasts much longer.

     

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  • finnybooboofinnybooboo member
    I'm glad we're not alone! She has also been waking up in the middle of the night. I used to able to just rock her back to sleep, but that doesn't seem to work anymore. She wants to be in bed with us, conks out, and then I can usually carry her back to her crib after a bit. If it continues, we may have to do a bit of sleep training because as much as I love baby snuggles, I want her sleeping in her own crib!

    The pillow thing is interesting. I took one of her fleecy receiving blankets and folded it in half at the top of her crib. It seems when I lay her down on that, she doesn't wake up when I put her down. Don't know if the mattress is just cold and she doesn't like it?

    Anyway, sorry about your lack of sleep, but know you aren't alone!
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  • AjoydAjoyd member
    I am also in this boat. I am going to try the pillow thing because DS likes to put his head on my pillow. I have some not as fluffy pillows I think I'll try. I am also going to try to introduce some things that might comfort him in his crib, like a blanket and a stuffed animal. 

    I've tried to let him cry a few times but I never last very long because he gets hysterical. I know he wouldn't calm down after only 5 minutes and I shudder to think how long it would take him to calm down enough to go to sleep. 

    I am just starting to explore some sleep training options.


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  • MargaretC5MargaretC5 member
    I gave him my pillow originally because when he slept we us he would always rest his head on me. I thought my pillow would smell like me so he would not mind being in the crib alone. Or he could just like a soft place to rest his head.
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  • dovetail223dovetail223 member
    We went through the same thing for about a week and a half. I found if DH put DD to bed it was better. Around the same time DD started waking up in the middle of the night crying on and off for about 1-2 hours for no reason (not sick, teething, etc). After re consulting feber I realized she was actually sleeping too much for her age (11-12 hrs at night +2 hr nap) We upped her bedtime by 30 min that last couple of nights and it seems the issue has been resolved.

    ETA it sucks when you get a sleep regimen and it changes!
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  • bkeane619bkeane619 member
    edited December 2014
    Going through the same thing. Last night I went back to our sleep training CIO method and it only took 2x for her to go back down after being up for her previous few nights for an hour at a time. It stinks because O is sleeping in another room. She woke another time, cried a few seconds and went back down. I'm hoping that is all it takes.
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  • megs1409megs1409 member
    According to the Wonder Week app, we are a week away from another leap. I can't remember if your girls are early in the month or later, but Nicholas is the 24th, so I'm expecting hell to arrive next weekend.
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  • ballygirlballygirl member
    The last couple nights I've let them cry and was actually surprised at how quickly they settled themselves. It was less than 10 minutes.  They were very long minutes to listen to.  They each woke once during the night last night and were able to settle themselves pretty quickly - like 3-5 minutes.  They actually settled faster by themselves than if I had gone in.  And they didn't really wake each other up, amazingly.  Or if they did, the one that was woken up didn't make a fuss.  So, hopefully this is just a phase and will pass quickly.

     

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  • finnybooboofinnybooboo member
    megs1409 said:

    According to the Wonder Week app, we are a week away from another leap. I can't remember if your girls are early in the month or later, but Nicholas is the 24th, so I'm expecting hell to arrive next weekend.

    Crap. A is the 24th too. So likely things aren't going to get better soon. :(
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