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Late Term and Child Loss
Noethola
member
Almost 2 years
Noethola
member
PTSD
While I do not have it to a clinical diagnosis degree, this week I have been having flashbacks to the day we lost our daughter. I can hardly believe it will be 2 years on Monday. I have taken a step back from the board over the last few months, but it is just one of those days. One of those days when you need to be heard by people who KNOW, who UNDERSTAND, who GET IT. It still sucks. I still cry.
I was driving the same route today that I took into the Drs office that day, after the midwife came to the house and could not hear her heartbeat. Similar weather, same exact time of day. The memories of the silent ultrasound, the drs words, my husband's face... Delivery, holding her... How has it been two years? Two years since I held her, smelled her, kissed her?
Sorry to place this heavy stuff at your door step. There are a lot of good days too. A lot of days when the sun shines bright and I remember her kicking, her rolling over, the ease of birthing her, the wonderful moments of holding her. I can look back on the 36 weeks I carried her with a lot of love, joy, and pride. But I still miss my little girl. 
My family is getting together to celebrate her life on Sunday. We do dinner, desserts and light paper lanterns. I enjoy recognizing her life, having them remember too. I look forward to seeing my rainbow's face when we light the lanterns and send them up this year.
Hugs ladies as we enter the holiday season. It is not an easy time for any of us, veterans or new loss parents. Keep each other close. Big ((hugs)) to each of you!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Almost 2 years
**sig warning***
Hugs to you.
It hasn't been a year yet for losing our son, but each month milestone is so hard, I can't even imagine two years. It's so wonderful that you have already started a tradition to remember your angel, we want to do some similar things too.
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
**sig
Big hugs to you mama! My daughter's second birthday is coming up as well. I cannot believe it...at all. ((preg mentioned!)) I went to maternal fetal medicine today for my A/S for rainbow baby, and I hadn't been there since we were told Ana died. I totally get the PTSD....What we have gone through was so traumatic, it stays with you. It changes you.
Much love to you and your angel baby girl!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Sending lots of positive thoughts your way- I hope the celebration goes well this weekend!
Yesterday, someone I went to high school with messaged me on fb. She gave birth to her stillborn son yesterday and asked for help. Of course I immediately tried to think of all the things we are glad we did and anything we regret not doing. Then today a former coworker announced on fb that she lost her son last week. It's all taking me back to those days filled with so much raw emotion.
**TICKER WARNING**
Big hugs to you! I will be thinking about you guys this weekend and Monday. I wish time would slow down so it wouldn't be so long ago that our babies were here, but I try to remind myself that we are all one more day closer to beng with them again.
Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
I'm so sorry, I will be thinking of you and your family on Monday. We'll be coming up on two years in March and sometimes I just keep repeating it over and over in my head, like how can it be two years already? How can it have been two years since I held my baby.
I love the celebration you have and that your family joins in. We did the paper lanterns for my mom's death anniversary this past summer and they were fun, I bet your rainbow will love it. Despite it being sad, I am looking forward to our rainbow being able to hold and release a balloon this year for the angelversary. Last year she was just a few days old.
It will be especially bittersweet this year since we'll be so happy to celebrate our rainbow's first birthday, and then a few days later remember our angel on her second angelversary. Big hugs mama.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)