Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
usapilar
member
Re: Husband problems 2nd tri
Why do women procreate with these bums then wonder why they are shiftless, assholish bums?
It's not like he all the sudden morphed. You are just seeing what's been there all along. :-??
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Just curious, but what would your advice be?
Abuse is abuse, be it psychological, emotional, or physical. Staying in an abusive relationship of any kind is destructive to one's self. Why should she make the "most of it" when she could find the hard support when she needs it most and stand up for her feelings?
Since most of the commenters on this site are women that are going to jump down the guy's throat for not being supportive, I'm going to try to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
Most guys aren't complete ass holes. Most of us are kind of dumb (especially with women's issues like pregnancies) and don't realize what our wife wants us to do until she tells us to do it.
I don't know your husband, but I noticed in your post that your talking a lot about his behaviors that you dislike, but I didn't notice anywhere that you stated that you've talked to him about what he's doing wrong. Women have a tendency to give subtle hints that they expect their husbands to pick up on. Sorry ladies, but we're usually too dumb to realize what you're hinting at.
Talk to him about how you've been feeling, and set him up on this website so he gets an email every week about where you are in your pregnancy, how far along the fetus is, and what is the mother going through. If he has a better idea of what you're dealing with, he may be more sympathetic and understanding.
Best of luck!
Hmm. I think I like having a dude's POV around?
Good luck, OP
This was an old thread and I am very glad I didn't even follow up on it til now... most replies were really useless and cringeworthy to say the least.
I felt overworked, tired and frustrated and venting online seemed like a harmless way of dealing with it. After reading some of these comments I have learned my lesson.
One bad day doesn't define 10 years I have spent with my husband who besides being difficult at times is a loving, generous, kind, good-looking, hard working successful family man who I have been trying to procreate with for over 5 years.
What exactly did you expect? In your OP you made your DH sound like a freakin' bum....people felt bad for you! You made no mention of this loving, kind etc previously. You made him sound like a downright scumbag. I think you owe your H an apology for the way you talk shit about him!
You were thinking about therapy but this was just one bad day?
Contradictions. You have them.
Only a woman knows what she can and wont put up with. So instead of telling her 'why do women procreate with turds' lets instead encourage and send love and strength.
I know how hard it is because im doing it myself right now.
Agree! So you realize you're saying you can handle the fact that your child's father may be emotionally or psychologically abusive to your daughter. Shame on you for that!
By all means, let that abuse be passed along to your child. Totally responsible. Yet you're chastising us.
Sense. You have none.