What to do with frosties once family is complete?

nawlinsgrl · December 2014

No judgment please, just wanted to get some feedback. So, yesterday we received a bill for storage of our 4 frosties from our 2nd IVF, which completed our family (we both wanted 2 kids, and I am almost 42). As much as DH and I would like to donate our embryos for adoption, we are just not comfortable with the idea of essentially giving away our children, particularly in the event they result in live children. I know there are different POVs on this, this is just ours.

We had previously planned on donating to science, which we felt was a fair compromise to donation and destroying them, but my RE's nurse just told me that is no longer an option, and sure enough, I can't find any options like that. So now it looks like we continue paying for storage or send them out of state, where once there they can then be destroyed (our state doesn't allow for this).

Just curious what others in the same boat have done or are thinking of doing.

JBDamonM · December 2014

I have no advice for you. I always had hoped to donate mine for adoption, but was never sure I would get to a point where I was totally comfortable (for me this is now a moot point thanks to my clinic)...... so my thoughts, like yours had always been that science was a good route... I'm very surprised to hear that your RE no longer offers this, did they say why?

nawlinsgrl · December 2014

The nurse said something to the effect of due to government regulations...blah blah blah...that it was no longer being allowed. I'm going to try and do a little more research on the matter before blindly accepting this info, but I can't find much about donating to medical research online right now.

CarrieB. · December 2014

What state are you in? Can you send them to another state for research? Do you have a copy of the contract you signed when you started IVF?

nawlinsgrl · December 2014

I live in Louisiana. I am pretty sure I can send them out of state for research, I was just given the impression that there are no programs currently accepting frozen embryos, which I am questioning. Louisiana does not allow for the embryos to be destroyed, which is why if I go that route, I'll have to send them to a state that does allow for this and have it done. I am waiting to hear back from the billing person, but the nurse said she thinks that costs around $1200, which I am certainly not thrilled by. The bill to keep them at the RE's office for another year is $475. I'm tempted to "abandon" them there, at least temporarily, since she said they are legally required to keep them if we don't pay, but I know that will just mess up my excellent credit rating.

I really hope that research is still an option, and if anyone has gone that route recently, they will share their experience, either here or by PM. I was very caught off guard by everything. TBH, when I didn't receive a bill after a year I assumed something had happened. I didn't realize we had 2 years of storage in our plan.

Ruthie04 · December 2014

We didn't have frozen embryos, so I don't have any personal experience. Regardless, before my cycle, my clinic had us make a decision. We selected donation to research and our clinic gave us info on Harvard's program (I think this is the right link: https://hsci.harvard.edu/). Maybe you could contact them directly and ask about their current needs and/ or policies?

HTH!

ETA: I'm just curious...What happens to the embryos of couples refusing to pay the storage fees? I know the clinic said they are required to keep them. I'm just wondering what happens to the embryos if no one claims them. They can't keep them forever, right? They can't give them to another couple without the genetic parents' consent, so what will happen? Not to be controversial, but I'm just wondering what provision the law has for those situations.

wille2b · December 2014

Ruthie04 said:

We didn't have frozen embryos, so I don't have any personal experience. Regardless, before my cycle, my clinic had us make a decision. We selected donation to research and our clinic gave us info on Harvard's program (I think this is the right link: https://hsci.harvard.edu/). Maybe you could contact them directly and ask about their current needs and/ or policies?

HTH!

ETA: I'm just curious...What happens to the embryos of couples refusing to pay the storage fees? I know the clinic said they are required to keep them. I'm just wondering what happens to the embryos if no one claims them. They can't keep them forever, right? They can't give them to another couple without the genetic parents' consent, so what will happen? Not to be controversial, but I'm just wondering what provision the law has for those situations.

As far as people not paying for them, our storage facility says its in the contract that for non payment they can ethically dispose of them..meaning that they just thaw them out and then get rid of them.

mdiblasi10 · December 2014

How frustrating that the law has changed and that they ask you to pay $1,200 to move them to a state that allows you to donate to science. That's crazy. Am I understanding correctly that your state only has two options: keep them stored or donate them to another couple? Donating to science was the option we checked if we had frosties (we didn't) I hope you can find an option that you are comfortable with and doesn't cost you a ton of money.

nawlinsgrl · December 2014

I spoke to a more knowledgeable nurse yesterday afternoon and she gave me the name and number at a facility in Texas they refer people to in my situation. The good news is that it's not nearly that much to transfer there. She said the shipping is about $250, and they usually try to wait until they have 3 people so they can split that cost among everyone, and that quarterly storage fees are around $100.

As far as research, she didn't know what my options were, and said that women should know more. Ruthie, I contacted Harvard yesterday, but it appears most programs only want embryos frozen early on (day one, or no more than day 3) and mine were frozen at 5 or 6 days.

Willie, I wish our facility did the same thing, but apparently Louisiana does not allow for disposal of any kind, even with parent consent. It's making an already difficult decision that much more difficult.

luvboston · December 2014

I clearly live in the land of the liberals and did donate my embryos to science. I just checked that portion of the form and it was done. At the time we didn't know if our embryos were the cause of m/c so we never wanted to pass them to someone. However now I would gladly do it.

nawlinsgrl · December 2014

Luv, I'm guessing you did so pretty recently. By any chance, do you have any contact info I can use to follow up and see if it's an option for me? My clinic clearly doesn't have a clue about that and doesn't appear to be able to help even if they want to.

luvboston · December 2014

My clinic just did everything for me I never had to do anything myself. Perhaps find a state near you where it's legal and call and see if they will give you info.

nawlinsgrl · December 2014

I wish it was that easy. Just talked to the facility in Texas and they offered one option, which requires some jumping through hoops first (extensive blood work and lengthy background questionnaire). I was surprised that she said it would be easier if we used donor sperm/eggs/embryos because then everything would have already been taken care of.

She confirmed that the programs she was aware of wanted either early frozen or PGD embryos only. She only knew of the one with all the requirements I just mentioned as being willing to take our embryos for research. The other option pretty much appears to be to ship and dispose of them at this facility. So disappointing.

lc&jw · December 2014

We're going to need to make some decisions about our embryos as well. I'm curious, when they're donated to science, what happens to them and how are they used?

amandaleigh1 · December 2014

I think it is getting harder to donate to science. My new RE in Boston at Mass general tells me that they don't have a mechanism to donate to science.

mnj05 · December 2014

I'm in Texas and have done two fresh cycles. At both we went through the paperwork (most recent being October) and I was given the option of donating to research still. We do have 3 frozen but we already decided to donate for adoption so I won't be looking into the research option.

That is quite frustrating you were given options that are no longer available.

racheyt0227 · December 2014

We were recently given the option to donate to research at my RE. However, I am adopting to another 2 couples (we already found 1 couple!) I cannot donate to research or destroy.

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