Need a c section and coming to terms with it

AudraMM · December 2014

I am 35 weeks, my son is frank breech and has been for a long time. Today it became a reality that a c section is going to happen unless he magically decides to flip for the first time ever. I have never been one to plan my birth and said I would be okay with whatever is medically necessary. Nothing about this pregnancy has been normal but I was hoping for at least a normal vaginal delivery. Now I find myself needing to cope with the reality of needing a c section. I am looking for some perspective to help me feel confident going into this. Right now I am sad that I can not deliver as my body was designed to and scared about needing surgery.

bigbobdole · December 2014

There is no shame in having a c-section. I think 35 weeks is too early to start worrying about the baby being breech. You still have time to flip. We all have our "ideal birth plan" in our minds, but it doesn't always happen the way you want.

Just remember, you still get that beautiful baby at the end of the day.:)

Heatherlowry9 · December 2014

I was devastated during my first pregnancy because we took bradley birthing classes and had everything planned for a natural birth, nothing went as planned. My daughter was breech and the doctor didn't even come in to talk to me about it, she just sent the nurse in to schedule my c-section. I was in tears and so very disappointed, scared, etc. I'd never had surgery before.

On a happier note, I let the fact that I had to have surgery get in the way of what was really important and that is that my baby was born healthy and there were no complications. The c-section wasn't as bad as I made it out to be and recovery for me was much easier than I anticipated. Now i'm dealing with the decision as to whether I should have a repeat c-section or try for a VBAC. Good luck!

mmooki · December 2014

In the end, a healthy baby is most important. I had a c/s with dd. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get to deliver vaginally, but when I think about the two things... Birthing experience or healthy baby, the baby trumps everything. And if you decide to have more, you can try for a vbac. That's what I am doing this time. I'd like to try for one. But if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. That's just the way it goes.

Josie400 · December 2014

I'm 34 weeks and at my appointment this week the doctor told me baby still isn't head down. Her said he's not too concerned as he would be if this is still the case at my next appointment in 2weeks. After he told me 90% of babies are head down by now, and the fact that my blood pressure isn't cooperating, it is really hitting me that a csection is a definite possibility. It's not how I've pictured the birth, but it is what is. Like PPs have said, it's more important to have a healthy baby.

tripletoe · December 2014

I am in a very similar situation as you. DS is Frank breech as well. I am going for a version on Saturday (36 weeks 3 days) to hopefully flip him, my doctors aren't very optimistic about him flipping on his own. Is a version something you'll consider? I had an awful and traumatic birth with DD and I was hoping to have a positive vaginal birth with this pregnancy, I almost feel that it will help me come to terms with my previous bad experience. It is what it is though, and the most important thing is that both baby and mama are safe. I can definitely understand how you have to come to terms with it, and I can say it took me 1-2 weeks to get over the frustration of possibly needing a C-section.

jessica528 · December 2014

I totally understand your concern. I'm a FTM and I want to avoid a C Section, but I have friends who had the surgery and say they are happy they had it. "At least I saved my vagina" is what they say... It's all in good humor, but I get what they are saying, it's really no big deal.

If you really want to change things in the next few weeks, I suggest the spinning babies website, as well as some non traditional approaches that my prenatal yoga teacher recommended: Acupuncture (it apparently works like magic when done by the correct specialist) and doing handstands in the swimming pool!

Beckyboo71 · December 2014

I was in your shoes when I was pregnant with DD. Then after I had her via c-section, and tried to breastfeeding, that didn't work out either. I felt like such a failure in both aspects. But, after a while, I got over it, and my DD is a very healthy and smart 7 year old. My doctor feels it's better to have a RCS this time, and that's fine with me. I just want the safest delivery for both of us. And like others have said, just think about having that baby in your arms afterwards....not how he/she gets here. Good luck!

Bigboneded · December 2014

My chiropractor and homeopath both said they can get babies flipped, accupuncture. Spinningbabies.com ? In the end healthy baby is the goal but you have a few weeks if you want to try some other stuff. Good Luck!

BriannaCaitlin · December 2014

I just had my twin girls on Sunday at 32 weeks. It wasn't in my birth plan to have a c-section even thought I knew having twins that it was likely. My whole pregnancy until 30 weeks, I would have been able to give birth naturally the way I wanted. At 30 weeks I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and it way a maybe, and not definite then. But then at 32 weeks I was rushed into a c-section because I had fluid building up around my heart from the preeclampsia. And I promise you that I have never been more scared and so against something in my life, but I would do it all over again because my girls are perfect and beautiful and even more than I ever could have imagined. I actually slept through almost my whole c-section! Haha. I promise you that once your baby is here, you won't question it. And I don't know your reasoning, but I just felt like I wouldn't feel like I was as much of a mother if I didn't "give birth" to them, but that's so wrong. A c-section is just as much giving birth to your child as natural birth, and it still does so much to your body. We as women sacrifice our bodies for our children and love them unconditionally and that's what really matters. Good luck to you and I really hope that you can come to terms with having your c-section! I get your baby will be beautiful!

rodiesmum · December 2014

It is not so bad

AneldaM · December 2014

I have had two c/sections due to complications. I also had two unassisted deliveries. It is true that you do recover faster from the good ol' fashioned way of giving birth but c/sections aren't as bad as they are made out to be. Certainly much more painful, and it takes a bit longer, but the one positive that I experienced was way less bleeding afterwards than with the conventional births.

Ultimately though, please try to not think of a c/section as a failure of some sort. Your state of mind is paramount when it comes to recovery.

jc51723 · December 2014

Please don't feel bad or like a failure if you end up with a c/s! I had one scheduled for my first DD because she was also frank breech. It wasn't how I pictured her birth, but it was perfect in it's own way because at the end of it I had a beautiful healthy baby girl. We were able to nurse succesfully for 18 months and have a crazy amazing bond with each other, so don't be scared that you won't bond as well (IDK if you are worried about this but I've heard lots of moms have this concern).

As for the actual surgery, I was terrified but it was so much easier than I imagined it would be. I literally didn't feel a thing aside from a little pressure when they were pulling her out (which I don't even remember now what that felt like). I didn't even feel when they gave me the epidural/spinal block (can't remember which I had). Recovery was harder, but I had lots of people around to support me and wait on me

If you do end up with a c/s, I hope it goes as smoothly as possible! And don't you dare let anyone make you feel like a failure for not "giving birth" the traditional way! You are a strong mom doing what you have to do to get your baby here safely!

mali3 · December 2014

I am going on c-section #3 and am not in the least bit ashamed or worried. While it is surgery and major, they are done on a daily basis and honestly not that big of a deal for most people. I had very little pain after and honestly felt great by week 2. As long as you have a healthy baby and you are healthy who cares how the baby comes into the world

Just remember to take your gas and stool softener meds!!

TXUltraRunner · December 2014

The alternative is you could just leave it in there for 18 years. It might be weird and uncomfortable though

moonfaerie · December 2014

The plus side of having a breech baby is that you don't go through labor - scheduled c/s are generally very easy to perform and, from what I've heard from moms who've had both emergency and scheduled, easier to recover from. And really, c/s aren't that bad. My three kids were all c/s babies, and as far as I can tell, none of them think any less of me as their mother!

It stinks to face a reality different than your expectations, but it's also nice to have notice in advance so you can adjust to the idea, and for practical things like notifying work in advance and such. You'll be fine and your baby will be fine, and trust me, your baby will not care how s/he is born. You'll be the perfect mom for your LO no matter what. Good luck if you try flipping baby, but please don't take it hard if you end with the c/s.

britb618 · December 2014

I'm sorry your so disappointed. As others have mentioned you still have time but C/S are really not the end of the world. While I do get the disappointment and feeling like a failure (or however you want to describe it) because I felt those things...there are definite perks to a c/s...RCS

I'm happy to avoid pitocin this time around and to "know" my son's due date. Totally type a personality here who loves to plan things so "knowing" that I won't go past that RCS date (because obviously I could go into labor) is a perk to me

try to not beat yourself up too much, healthy baby and mama is all that matters

marvan5 · December 2014

My sister was a breach baby with my mom for a long time, she had a c-section scheduled. 12 days before that date my sister turned on her own and my mom was able to give birth vaginally the following day. 35 weeks is very early to be worried about it! Just keep that thought of possibly needing to accept it in your back pocket, but don't waste energy right now fretting. I hope your LO turns for you!

BookitBoo · December 2014

Csection was not in my plan and I was also disappointed that my body 'didn't work'.'

It took me a while to realize that my body DID work -- my body made a healthy baby. I needed help giving birth because I wasn't able to give birth vaginally, but ultimately my body did the best it could. If your baby flips you still may end up needing a csection (I hope that's not a case) but I really don't want you to think of it as a failure.

Jamie02Lee · December 2014

I've had a hard time coming to terms with this idea as well.. I find out next week (at 34 weeks) if my placenta has or has not moved enough, (I have placenta previa) if it hasn't we will b scheduling our c section for 37 weeks.
1. I had to cope with the idea of having my LO 3 weeks early.
2. I will have to start a steroid in hopes of maturing his lungs enough to come out early, :-(.
3. I was going to be cut instead if having him vaginally and as terrible as it is to admit, I was concerned about the pooch that is rumored to come with c sections (i have since done a ton of research and realize it's really all up to me to get myself moving n healed right n exercising, just like everyone else)
4. I had to deal with my fellow friends who had vaginal births basically looking at me like I had 100 heads cuz they just didn't grasp y I might need the c section, y can't I go naturally, its just wrong... once I explain it, they eat their words but it's still a very over whelming situation...
Now, I mean, ideally we hope the placenta has moved so that LO has time to mature his lungs on his own n he can come when he's ready but if it hasn't and we move forward with the c section then we get a few other perks :-)
1. We get to pick his birthday
2. We get him earlier than expected
3. I get to miss out on those last few weeks of fabulous discomfort lol
All in all, it's about the safety of ur LO and u. I hope, if u do end up needing a c section, that u are able to become more comfortable n confident in that decision :-) GL!!

jennkg3 · December 2014

I'm in the same boat. 36 weeks today. Though I feel he dropped so crossing my fingers he turned and dropped. I had two vaginal births the last one (17 months ago) was an accidental home birth so all in all quick and not to painful. I was running with in two weeks of both. I'm terrified of a c section with two toddlers at home

MrsNoopoom · December 2014

I'm in the exact same situation. My baby has been breech at every appointment for months. My husband has hopes he'll flip my doctor doesn't think he will; she told me "everything looks great! Except his position."
I cried and cried then 2 things happened
1. I posted on here asking advice and got 2 not so nice comments back referring to my pregnancy as high risk. I was all hormonal and mad for 12 hours, then realized how lucky I am. If the worst thing with my baby is he is comfortable being heads up then I am blessed or lucky or whatever you want to call it. But, there are so many other women who wish they could say the worst thing happening at this stage of pregnancy is their baby is breech. I wanted a vaginal birth but I want us both to be healthy more than anything else.
2. I had a number girlfriends message me telling me all the positives of c-section (most pretty funny) ranging from "c-sections make prettier babies!", the many comments about vijay jays staying in tact , and almost everyone has told me the healing process is not nearly as bad as they tell you, other than some people still can't look at stairs the same way. It helped me knowing so many of the women I love and respect have had c-sections, and some of the older ones I had no idea about.
Hope this helps!

*a few of my friends told me to get an abdominal binder for after the c-section and to make sure I wear it. They all said it really really helps.

*sorry for any typos my phone is not cooperating

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