Babies on the Brain
tp871280
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Is there ever a right time to TTC while balancing a career??
tp871280
member
Hello! I am 25 and my husband is 29. We have been married for 2.5 years, but have been together for a total of 7.5 years. I am in dental school (will be graduating in May 2016) and my husband (who went back to school much later in life) will be staring medical school in the fall of 2016. I have never been the type of girl who was dying to have babies. My husband has more so been the one with baby on the brain. I initially thought that it would be best to wait until I was done with school before TTC, but lately I am not so sure.
On one hand, we can start TTC now, and in a perfect world, have a baby BEFORE I am done with school. This way, I would not be pregnant or TTC while I am looking for a job (since I am not planning on opening my own office right away). However, I run the risk of falling slightly behind in school. Luckily, the last year and a half of school is much more flexible since I can schedule my own patients and decide when I do and don't go in.
On the other hand, I can wait and TTC after graduation. However, assuming I do get pregnant...who would be willing to hire me? This option runs the risk of not finding a job. Plus, I would have to take time off work. I hate the thought of that, especially at the beginning of my career. Also, we do not yet know where my husband will be attending medical school. If we have to move out of state (very likely) I would have to balance all of that while TTC/being pregnant.
If I get pregnant now, we at least have both of our families nearby to help with the baby during the first year before we move away. This would be very helpful as far as saving money on child care, despite the fact that I dread my MIL taking care of my baby.
Both options have their pros and cons...the hard part is deciding which path is the best to go down. My question is for all the working mothers out there...is there ever a right time? Is it possible to have the best of both worlds?
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Re: Is there ever a right time to TTC while balancing a career??
Another thing to consider is the financial implications of having a child. Since you're both students, I assume your income is at least somewhat limited; having a child is far less stressful when you know you can comfortably afford the necessities.
On a related note, I'd also strongly suggest you not assume your family will provide childcare and that, if you truly "dread" the idea of your MIL taking care of your child, you make other arrangements. No childcare is truly "free", and often the monetary cost of hiring someone or attending a great center is much easier than the emotional cost of family childcare providers. You'll have many more options in this regard if you're working and bringing in an income.
Finally, I wouldn't stress too much about taking time off work or moving while TTC/PG. People need to take time off work for all sorts of things; it happens. Life goes on. And it's WAY easier to move while you're trying to TTC or are PG than if you have a LO. I've moved when LOs were 8w and also at 1 1/2yo, and it's so much harder than when you're pg.
I would like to have a couple of children before I'm 30 (we just want to be young parents, personal preference).
We are trying to figure out if we should TTC within the next year or so while our house is being built, then once the child/children are a bit older THEN I'll open my own school. That way when I'm pregnant, I will be working for someone else where I will be able to take maternity leave vs. when I have my own school and it's just me teaching. We are not at our financial prime either but stable. As always, it could be a bit better which we are working on.
Everyone is going to say "you're young, don't rush it, you have plenty of time" so if you really aren't in a rush and don't have BOTB badly, then wait. I say if you do want kids bad, and soon, to go for it. It sounds like you and your husband are stable, have good heads on your shoulders and would be ready for it.
Second - YES ITS ALL POSSIBLE!!! I was married fresh out of high school, started college in the fall of that year, got pregnant 3 months later, moved out of state, have a healthy career and am now thinking of TTC# 2.
Last but not least - the juicy stuff.... TTC a baby is definitely one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives and when we decide to do it is when stuff starts to get "REAL" Real quick. As you can see you've already analyzed all of the details surrounding the "what-if's" which means YOU are already ready AND No matter how much you plan and analyze..... There will always be more things that come up. So it's really up to you and your DH to decide. Best of Luck to you and hope to hear more news.
Now If you need a gentle nudge to do it..... I'm nudging.... I'm nudging..... Babies are Awesome so Go For It!!
No. There is never a perfect time for kids. You just have to want it and be willing to work for it. Also, it's not a safe assumption that you'll get pregnant easily. I realize that anecdote doesn't equal evidence, but I was 25 and undergoing IVF because of infertility. Youth does not promise fertility. I'm currently working in the medical field and got pregnant 3 months after starting my career - it works out. It's not easy, mind you, but it works itself out. Falling behind in school isn't awful, people WILL hire you and your plans iron themselves out. If your hubby is just starting Med school, then Step I's and Step 2's are great for starting that family, he won't be at clinicals ALL the time or pulling week-long on-calls until the kid is a year or two...much better than having a newborn trying to juggle that. If you want to put your careers first, that's OK too - it's not selfish and it's not wrong. You can have all the plans in the world - a healthy baby, breasts that flow with amazing liquid gold, an easy delivery, an easy baby...but none of that might happen. GL.
I'm 33 and to some extent for me the timing of TTC and career were unrelated (didn't meet my DH till 31 and was not exactly eager to be a single mom working in NYC at a 90 hour a week law firm gig). We just got married in May, and plan to start TTC in a month (eeps!). That being said, even when talking about it with my serious bf in college, I planned to wait until after I finished school. At my LS there were only two pregnant students in my three years - one was an accident/unmarried mom and the other student took a year leave of absence. Pregnancy starting a job is also tricky - I had friends not wear engagement/wedding rings to interviews so as not to raise the "baby alert." But dental may be more laid back than Big Law. Personally, I would probably do what someone else said - wait until I had found out where DH would be going to med school and get settled in there/find a job, then start TTC. Two years feels like a long time but I think it would make life easier in the long run.
That being said, my parents had me when my dad was in grad school (they had IF starting when my mom was 21 so they were starting ASAP after they got married; she had an emergency hysterectomy at 29, so glad they did or I might not be here!). Whatever you choose to do, I'm sure you'll make it work for you!
Me: 33 DH: 39 Married 5/17/14
TTC #1 - Jan 2015
Formerly known as JennyH81
DH has one son (11) from prior marriage
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