What to do with the 4(ish) years between now and Kindergarten?

Stasi · December 2014

DH and I have been talking about our plans for Kate to go to pre-school. Right now, both she and Ryan are at a babysitter's house all day with no other children. I feel it really important to have her around other kids her age as she gets older. Being a September baby, and not starting school until she's practically 6 has me wondering what the options are for her 3rd, 4th and 5th years before she goes to public kindergarten. Here's what I was thinking...

Option 1: Keep her at her current babysitter, but starting next year have the babysitter take her cheap/free things - story hours at the library, park district classes/2 day morning pre-school, etc...until she's ready for kindergarten.

Option 2: Keep Kate and Ryan with the babysitter until the start of the next school year (when they turn 3 and 1 yo) and then switch them both to a full-time daycare or Montessori school until she's ready for kindergarten...

I don't know...I'm curious what other people are planning on doing with their S12 (and other) kiddos

AKB090609 · December 2014

Currently I have my S12 and J14 kids in early childhood classes. This year they each go one day per week, next year my S12er will go 2 days per week. I love the program we are in because there is also a parent group as a part of it. We go thru the school district. We will continue with this set up until I go back to work, we will then reevaluate.

Depending on your and your sitters comfort level, I think that library story times would be a great place to start right now even my J14er loves library time!

Hyaline · December 2014

This is one of the reasons I chose daycare over nanny or sitter--I wanted DD to have the interactions with other kids. But really--whatever works well for you guys is great. If the sitter can take her to more interactive stuff, awesome. Adding in preschool would be a good option and totally doable for the sitter, I would think. If not, she's probably fine as long as she's happy--sure, school might be more of an adjustment, but I don't think the many kids who grow up with SAHMs and limited social interaction are screwed or anything--a good sitter is no different of a situation in that way.

For us, I'm playing it by ear. My biggest concern is keeping DD engaged and challenged with learning, more so than prepping any specific skill.

I'm actually kinda annoyed with how cut-off dates work. I was considering the local Montessori school as DD gets older, but I don't want her getting so far ahead that she's bored in kindergarten. (Yeah, I know kindergarten isn't just fingerpainting anymore, but still.) I kinda wish they did cutoffs like "kid born August through December, you get to choose" or something.

AKB090609 · December 2014

Hyaline said:

This is one of the reasons I chose daycare over nanny or sitter--I wanted DD to have the interactions with other kids. But really--whatever works well for you guys is great. If the sitter can take her to more interactive stuff, awesome. Adding in preschool would be a good option and totally doable for the sitter, I would think. If not, she's probably fine as long as she's happy--sure, school might be more of an adjustment, but I don't think the many kids who grow up with SAHMs and limited social interaction are screwed or anything--a good sitter is no different of a situation in that way.

For us, I'm playing it by ear. My biggest concern is keeping DD engaged and challenged with learning, more so than prepping any specific skill.

I'm actually kinda annoyed with how cut-off dates work. I was considering the local Montessori school as DD gets older, but I don't want her getting so far ahead that she's bored in kindergarten. (Yeah, I know kindergarten isn't just fingerpainting anymore, but still.) I kinda wish they did cutoffs like "kid born August through December, you get to choose" or something.

I'm feeling the same way, we are considering sending DD1 to a private school for kindergarten because I'm worried about her getting herself into trouble because she's not being challenged.

hmp1 · December 2014

I would start by looking around at your options. What ages do they start, do they follow the school year so you would have to find summer care, are you willing to do two drop offs and pick ups every day, is the elementary school you want Kate to attend affiliated with a certain preschool/prek?

I looked into putting James in a different pre-k program than what our daycare offers but I did not find one that I liked enough to do separate drop offs. Our daycare has a top rated preschool program anyways. I like that they start preschool at age 2 so I am very happy with the type of education that are starting with Leo now (same class that James was in at this age) and we are beyond thrilled with the class James is in now Preschool 4. A couple of the schools we might attend for elementary have a preschool starting at 3 and a pre-k. But those schools are 3-4 on our list. If one of them had been number 1 and had an automatic acceptance (or better odds at getting accepted if you attended the preschool/prek program) I would have sucked up the double drop off and started him now.

What is your babysitter doing with her now? Are you happy with the type of education she is providing on a daily basis? Is she getting other interaction from kids her own age elsewhere? If so, I think having her babysitter take her to a part time preschool starting at age 3 is a great idea.

melody921 · December 2014

I really think this is a situation where there's no one right answer, and you should do what works best for your family. My kids have always been in daycare, in a center setting, because I like the interaction with other kids, but even more so because I didn't want to have to worry about a sick/vacationing/problematic babysitter. I like that the center needs to figure out how to cover if a teacher can't come in. But I have friends who stay home with their LOs and take them to storytime or theater groups or whatever's in their area, and their kids are socialized just as well.

As for the school cutoff, we are very likely circumventing that by putting DD in private kindergarten. Since our district only has half-day kindergarten, we need to look at private options anyway. Unless she shows signs of not being ready, I'm not holding her back a year because her bday is three days after the cutoff. I think that's ridiculous. But perhaps I'm biased bc I'm a late September bday and did just fine starting school at almost 5.

hmp1 · December 2014

I do think attending a full time pre-k is helpful. So part-time preschool and then full time pre-k the year before she starts school would be my suggestion if the babysitter can do the preschool drop off and pick up for you.

watercolor5 · December 2014

I SAH with my girls, but as to the socialization aspect...

They see kids their age in the classrooms at church for ~3 hours each Sunday, and also ~2.5 hours 3x per month for my MOPS moms group, and 2-3x per month during our bible study. There is some structured activity there... story time, coloring, snack time, songs, etc, which becomes progressively more structured as they get older. So they typically have some form of socializing with kids ages 0-4 about twice a week.

At the start of next school year, I plan to have Sophia start taking suzuki violin lessons. There will be weekly 1 on 1 lessons and biweekly rep classes with other kids involved in that, in addition to concerts.

We're able to participate in play dates and fun activities with the moms group or with other friends. Things like library story time, going to a dairy farm/petting zoo, swimming pools or splash pads in the summer, playground dates, christmas light shows, etc etc.

If I do end up putting Sophia in a preschool, it wouldn't be until she's closer to 4-5.

hmp1 · December 2014

Right now, I am thankful for early birthdays. The school I am going to tomorrow to put James on the waiting list bases admission strictly on the order you signed up and you cannot sign up until your 4th birthday. It is a sought after school around here with small classes. I'm hopeful that Dec 3rd is an early enough birthday but if Leo was my first, he would have no problem getting accepted.

ETA: And the school James will test for acceptance prefers kids on the older side of the cutoff. They test in Jan/Feb and I'm glad my kids will be on the older side so they have more time to develop their reading and math skills prior to testing.

BeebopandBuddy · December 2014

Maya and Ethan both went to daycare. Maya started their pre-school program when she turned three and then transitioned to our school district's preschool program in September. Their cutoff to start is October 1, so I will keep assessing his readiness over the next almost-year. I have to see how PTing goes (we haven't started) but I'm leaning toward starting him now. Maya loves it there and I'm impressed with their teachers and program, despite our poorly-ranked school district. We will continue to assess and may keep him in Pre-K the extra year if we feel he isn't ready for K though.

MRoxy0628 · December 2014

My daughter goes to an in-home daycare. She spends time with other kids her age and I've been pretty pleased with our experience. I do think I will look into her going to a pre-school program through our school district a couple days per week either next year or the year after.

I'm also pretty sure that I will petition to have her start kindergarten in 2017. She will turn 5 three days after our states cut-off date. If she doesn't seem ready when we have to start the petition process, I won't do it, but at this point (and I realize a lot can change), she seems to be on track developmentally. There is a lot to the process, but I agree with others that I'd rather not "hold her back" if she's ready.

AlinnJo · December 2014

Right now we go to our Library's story time on Tuesday mornings. Dance on Wednesdsy mornings and playgroup on Thursday monrings. All of those activities are a mixed group of parents, grandparents or nannies/babysitters taking the kids. Our playground is provided by our county ISD. Maybe you could check if there was anything like that in your area for your babysitter to attend?

I think our plan is for next fall to start Quinn at a preschool/daycare 2 mornings a week since she'll just be turning 3. The next fall when she's turning 4 she will finally attend the 3 year old preschool and the next fall a 4 year old preschool. Then she will finally start Kindergarten.

Gotta love those late birthdays !

BPer · December 2014

Hyaline said:

This is one of the reasons I chose daycare over nanny or sitter--I wanted DD to have the interactions with other kids.

This. She has learned so much from being around other kids.

Though...not all of it is good. I got a text from my mom the other day when she took Hannah to Chuck E Cheese, it said "Hannah just told me to "Get out of town, grandma!" when I told her it was time to eat."

Oh well.

Stasi · December 2014

These are all great examples, thanks ladies! I'm totally overwhelmed now though.

I'm thinking along the lines of what @hmp1 said, do part time pre-school of some sort when she's 3 and 4, then full time when she's 5 years old. Then public K.

@hyaline My DH is a Montessori kid and we've talked about taking her from an all day Montessori kindergarten to a public school kindergarten and if she wouldn't feel challenged enough. My SIL combated this by enrolling her kids in a second language immersion program at the public school where K-3 grade was taught in a foreign language (Spanish for them), it helped challenge them more...

Confression: I didn't know school districts had pre-K programs associated with them...I realy suck at this!!!

kelbel527 · December 2014

I would do research now and see what your options are. But I think the decision comes down a lot to your kid's personality. That said, I personally see a lot of benefit of having our boys in a place where they are in a classroom type setting and learning some of the non-educational things like walking down the hallway in a line or taking turns at lunchtime. A part-time preschool program can help supplement what you have today if you really like the in-home setting but want to add something more.

In our case we choose to put Brody in a preschool program outside of his old daycare. We had several reasons, one is that we think he was getting a little bored. So while he was at a really good daycare, he was with basically the same kids he's known since he was 12 weeks old. That combined with other things was causing behavioral problems. Had we not switched, he would have been in the same room for 1 1/2 years.

The other very big reason, is that it takes awhile for him to adjust to new routines. The preschool program we picked is full-day and mimics kindergarten. He has a 30 minute rest period (he wasn't napping anyway) and goes outside 3 times a day. They structure their entire day similar to kindergarten programs in the area with similar routines and learning time vs. free-play. A few months in, I am already feeling better that he will be prepared next year.

We don't know what we'll do with our S12er but our daycare's 4K room starts at 4, so I probably won't keep him in the same room for almost 2 years. But, if it seems to work for him, we might. It will depend on how he's doing at that time.

Bookelly · December 2014

We just started E in two year old preschool (one day a week) at the park district in our town. They also have a preschool program specifically for kids who are born from Sept-Dec and just miss the cut-off, and we will enroll her in that next year. After that, we'll see what her needs are and reassess whether we want her at the PD or in Montessori/private school. I think you're in the same general area as I am, and I know there are a ton of choices around here.

We also do gymnastics and swimming and story times, but I didn't feel like it was giving her enough time to really play with other kids (thus the preschool enrollment).

juliane2004 · December 2014

Where I am in Canada, the deadline is March 1st, so all of my kids will go to school when they are 4-5 years old, so we only really have two "middle" years. Our S12-er will be going to preschool for two years starting Sept 2015, then Kindergarten in Sept 2017.

hmp1 · December 2014

Stasi said:

These are all great examples, thanks ladies! I'm totally overwhelmed now though.

I'm thinking along the lines of what @hmp1 said, do part time pre-school of some sort when she's 3 and 4, then full time when she's 5 years old. Then public K.

@hyaline My DH is a Montessori kid and we've talked about taking her from an all day Montessori kindergarten to a public school kindergarten and if she wouldn't feel challenged enough. My SIL combated this by enrolling her kids in a second language immersion program at the public school where K-3 grade was taught in a foreign language (Spanish for them), it helped challenge them more...

Confression: I didn't know school districts had pre-K programs associated with them...I realy suck at this!!!

Not all do, it might not be a thing in your area. One of the big downfalls for me is that they follow the school calendar. So I would need summer care anyways and they take all the school holidays (fall break, 2 weeks at Christmas, spring break...). But your husband is a teacher, right? So that might work out really well for you guys.

melody921 · December 2014

Stasi said:

These are all great examples, thanks ladies! I'm totally overwhelmed now though.

I'm thinking along the lines of what @hmp1 said, do part time pre-school of some sort when she's 3 and 4, then full time when she's 5 years old. Then public K.

@hyaline My DH is a Montessori kid and we've talked about taking her from an all day Montessori kindergarten to a public school kindergarten and if she wouldn't feel challenged enough. My SIL combated this by enrolling her kids in a second language immersion program at the public school where K-3 grade was taught in a foreign language (Spanish for them), it helped challenge them more...

Confression: I didn't know school districts had pre-K programs associated with them...I realy suck at this!!!

Ours doesn't, so it's not an across-the-board thing.

Stasi · December 2014

hmp1 said:

Stasi said:

Confression: I didn't know school districts had pre-K programs associated with them...I realy suck at this!!!

Not all do, it might not be a thing in your area. One of the big downfalls for me is that they follow the school calendar. So I would need summer care anyways and they take all the school holidays (fall break, 2 weeks at Christmas, spring break...). But your husband is a teacher, right? So that might work out really well for you guys.

DH is a teacher so we're covered from June-mid August luckily....

I just need to do some research and talk more with DH about what we want and what we can afford to do. The babysitter is $2K a month for both kids, so we couldn't afford to pay her and the cost of a part time pre-school as well, unless the babysitter would take a pay cut for the hours in the week she wouldn't be watching Kate....but even then....

Stasi · December 2014

Oh and my typos....geesh.

danabsd · December 2014

I am home with them right now. Don't tell them but I wish I was working and they were in daycare. :-S
Beb goes to a Tiny Tots program a couple days a week as well as her actitvities. Binn goes to Gymboree. We suspended for December due to travel, I don't know if we'll continue in January.

We've been discussing putting Beb back in daycare full time for the socialization. In any case, as long as I have my facts straight she'll be able to start free (public) transitional kindergarten at 4. It's for children who celebrate their 5th birthday Sept. 2 to Dec. 2.

redneckmomma25 · December 2014

I'd really love to afford pre school for G. I'm also not against K when she's 4 turning 5. So I have no idea.

hmp1 · December 2014

Stasi said:

hmp1 said:

Stasi said:

Confression: I didn't know school districts had pre-K programs associated with them...I realy suck at this!!!

Not all do, it might not be a thing in your area. One of the big downfalls for me is that they follow the school calendar. So I would need summer care anyways and they take all the school holidays (fall break, 2 weeks at Christmas, spring break...). But your husband is a teacher, right? So that might work out really well for you guys.

DH is a teacher so we're covered from June-mid August luckily....

I just need to do some research and talk more with DH about what we want and what we can afford to do. The babysitter is $2K a month for both kids, so we couldn't afford to pay her and the cost of a part time pre-school as well, unless the babysitter would take a pay cut for the hours in the week she wouldn't be watching Kate....but even then....

That was another reason for keeping James at our current daycare for preschool/pre-k. Even though it is more expensive, we get a sibling discount that puts it closer to inline with the other preschools. If we took out James, no sibling discount and double drop offs. If you decide to look into a center for both next year, most places offer a sibling discount. Also, all the centers I looked at offered a declining payment schedule as the kids get older. Ours drops $10 a week every year.

CdnFarmGirl08 · December 2014

Nathan will start pre-school next year. 2 days a week for 2.5 hours. He'll do that for the next 2 years and then he'll start K at the age of 4. Our cutoff is they have to be 5 by December 31 of that year.

amandad715 · December 2014

My boys are at an in-home daycare with a sitter who doesn't transport. So luckily my newly retired dad picks up & drops off Jack 3x a week to take him to 4 y/o preschool at a local church. He was SO ready to be in a school environment, even though our sitter does "school" activities with all the kids. Actually....that's probably WHY he was so ready for school. He'll turn 5 in May and will start K next August. He has benefitted from a smaller daycare with a variety of kids and ages but also gets to experience school too.
I had the sadsies last year when we couldn't get him to 3 y/o preschool. I felt super guilty and wouldn't look at FB for days(all the 1st day of preschool pics of kids who were Jack's age) without crying bc I thought we were FAILING him as working parents who weren't able to enrich his life with 2x/week preschool. Blah blah blah. Mommy guilt sucks. He is perfectly content going to preschool for just this year. And as a teacher, I am happy with it. We are also double-paying. We pay for 2 full time spots at daycare and then pay a monthly preschool tuition. Oh well.
For Will, we will probably do the same 4 y/o preschool 3x/week. And he will make our cut-off by 2 days since he was born early on Aug 30. (Shhhh!!!! Please don't tell anyone that I really belong on A12) We will cross that K bridge when the time comes. If he's ready he'll start with his class and be very young. Or we'll keep him back and maybe put him in a 4 or 5 day a week pre-K program.

smb+jab · December 2014

we have grant at a daycare / school four days a week. and i have to say i love our school. we did an extensive search when i was expecting to pick one and luckily we choose well. he gets a lot of attention and he all of his teachers have been great. and most of the classes have been small (right now he is in a class of ten). this last class was a little rough of an adjustment but he's done well especially with going more days verses staying with my MIL.

Its a structured environment with divided time for each activity and as he moves up rooms he gets more subjects added (i.e. now they've started adding Spanish words to their daily lessons). Our plan is to stay at this school hopefully bump him up to five days (as long as MIL does go bat shit crazy and throw a massive fit) this upcoming year and then once he reaches Kindergarten age we will have a decision to make.

In our area he can apply to a charter school to get into full day K, go half a day and be bused back to daycare (if that is an option - it might not be) or stay at his current school or go to a private catholic school that offers full day kindergarten. we will decide when the time comes on that one. for now he stays with his friends in his current class as he has a group of four (himself plus two boys and a girl that move classes together).

kjskjs · December 2014

DD started going to library events that were offered in May when my DH started being home with her during the week. She also started Dance classes in September so she has those as well. Our plan is to keep going to free events and having her take dance classes/other activities through the parks and rec in town until she is 4. At 4, we're going to start her in a half day pre-school to get her ready for kindergarten. Until then, we'll be doing some home school pre-school activities. DD ended up being an August baby so she'll get to start at 5 but had she been born near her due date, we'd probably up her to a 5 day preschool at 5 to help get her used to that type of environment.

crene84 · December 2014

I'm SAH and try to do play dates a lot but DH and I are thinking the same thing. We actually have a day care picked out for part-time to get her some social interaction in a school-like environment, but I haven't pulled the trigger yet...

27boo · December 2014

I am struggling with this as well, for many reasons.

DD is starting speech through the Birth-3 program. Her services will end in September. After that, they turn her IEP over to the school district and they are obligated to continue services. DD won't go to school in our district. She will come to my school (smaller, better in many ways), so they will turn hers over to our SLP.

Right now, we have a playschool/preschool program in our school. Playschool would technically start for her at almost 4, which would mean almost a year without speech services. The sped teacher said because our numbers are so low and that program is not state funded, she could probably come a year early and do 2 years of playschool, mainly to get speech. But, dropoffs/getting back to daycare would suck (my best option would be to switch daycares to the one that will bus, but I don't really like that daycare). Finally, we may be losing that program anyway due to creating full day kindergartens by 2017.

Our daycare does have a great preschool as well, it's the speech that's throwing me. My SIL currently works at DD's daycare and hopefully will for a while (for my selfish reasons). I'm hoping that our SLP can see Aria 2 days a wk first thing in the morning and then SIL can pick her up and take her to daycare with her. Hopefully that will work as that's all I can come up with and need to have it figured out by September.

Hold me.

Eastie156 · December 2014

Ethan had a nanny two days a week and my Mom two days a week since he was three months old. Our nanny left a while back and my Mom has had him four days a week since. She took him to the park and story time when we were in the city, but that was about it. I used to take him for play dates on my day off and the days his nanny watched him, she took him to a music class. He was a pretty busy kid for a long time. Since we moved, he hasn't been doing a lot.

I just started story time with him this past week and he's been doing a tumbling class one day a week, along with a Saturday swim class. We are considering putting him in daycare part time this coming year, but will definitely be doing part-time pre-school at either 2yrs9mos or 3 years for both kids. Ethan is definitely bored with my Mom at this point and he needs more interaction with kids.

Kissty · December 2014

DS is going to daycare 3 days, stays with GG 1 day and is with me 1 day. The daycare he is going to seems to be pretty great so far. He is already learning Spanish. Right now the daycare has started teaching Kindergarten and will go through 3rd grade. It's a new facility so they're still adding to the curriculum. I hope to keep him there through third grade so we don't have to worry about taking him to daycare then they take him to school and then pick him up for after care. We'll see how it goes but that is the plan for now.

Nita2603 · December 2014

Here, kids start JK the year they turn 4. Meaning, my Oct11 will start next year and S12 the year after. Full time.

I am not sure what to do with that yet - if I should send them, if I send them for three days, if we take the plunge next year and send S12 to nursery school or something like that...

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