* UO Thursday *

PinkCamino · December 2014

flyoffeve · December 2014

I do not like Smartphones. I just abandoned my flip cell phone in June. (

Also, I do not like texting.

PinkCamino · December 2014

My unpopular opinion is that I don't find passive aggressive snarky cute.

TB's culture is very much driven by snark which I'm fine with most of the time. In real life and on here I tend to speak my mind, I try not to be passive aggressive although I think everyone is to a certain degree. However, there are certain people who are just like that all the time and it makes me bat shit. I know there are a group of ladies here on TTCAL who dislike me, I've been made privy to some comments that have been said about me behind the scenes and whether they are 100% true, 50% true or completely fabricated it has alerted me to certain behaviors that just make me roll my eyes. Specifically, although I love the "love tit" function I think it's shitty as fuck to use it as a tool to exclude people who make substantial contributions to threads simply to send the message that you're not a fan girl. Honestly, got a problem with me? Tell me about it. Send me a PM and lets talk about it. Not replying to my threads or ignoring me in a passive aggressive way is totally immature and shitty.

PinkCamino · December 2014

wickedsugar said:

@PinkCamino‌ all I can say is, been there done that... I have had the same thing happen, and I invited people to PM me & guess what ? No one ever had the balls to, so just said fuck it, hence the reason I have very few close friends left on here.

Shitty right?

These people are ballsy enough to be passive aggressive with their hate but can't own it. I wish that calling people out wasn't a TOU violation because honestly at this point I believe that the only way to truly address this would be by doing that. I know that I am not the only person affected by this too which is what makes it worse. I also will not initiate that conversation via PM because it's not my problem to own it.

Having said that, let's see what happens. Maybe the offenders will get the courage to address an issue that's been happening for far too long in these parts.

buggirl72 · December 2014

My UO is that we don't need a daily TP thread. I think it is destructive and unhealthy. Seriously people, you can't save your vent about whatever until a Thursday TP thread?

flyoffeve · December 2014

I agree with PP about the check-ins. There are a lot. I participate in three check-ins. All of the check-in leaders of those threads are amazing.

I get overwhelmed with the fact that most people have to tag and comment on every post and then give their update. I tried it a few times and just can't. Makes me feel like crap.

I never got into the April check-in because it is called April Mommas. Every time I see it, it hurts.

However, the healthy living check-in has really been keeping me focused on working out and watching my diet.

Maybe a revision is in order for the list of check-ins?

ellebelle2384 · December 2014

buggirl72 said:

My UO is that we don't need a daily TP thread. I think it is destructive and unhealthy. Seriously people, you can't save your vent about whatever until a Thursday TP thread?

Agreed.

As for a non-TTCALR UO, I can't stand Christmas music. Unless it is Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" I don't want to hear it. And certainly not before December 1st.

megrae12 · December 2014

buggirl72 said:

My UO is that we don't need a daily TP thread. I think it is destructive and unhealthy. Seriously people, you can't save your vent about whatever until a Thursday TP thread?

This! I feel like it's petty to have a TP every day. Life is hard, it's always going to be that way. If all you focus on is that, you are not living out to full potential and are dragging others down with you. I agree that a weekly one will suffice. All the TPs are basically about pgs anyway. After a while it gets old.

megrae12 · December 2014

flyoffeve said:

I agree with PP about the check-ins. There are a lot. I participate in three check-ins. All of the check-in leaders of those threads are amazing.
I get overwhelmed with the fact that most people have to tag and comment on every post and then give their update. I tried it a few times and just can't. Makes me feel like crap.
I never got into the April check-in because it is called April Mommas. Every time I see it, it hurts.
However, the healthy living check-in has really been keeping me focused on working out and watching my diet.
Maybe a revision is in order for the list of check-ins?

To the bolded, I never respond to everyone in a check in unless I am the leader. It's overwhelming and it's not something you have to do. Some do, and that is great, but I do not have the time to do that most days. Don't feel bad for that. OK?

buggirl72 · December 2014

Sterling13 said:

buggirl72 said:
My UO is that we don't need a daily TP thread. I think it is destructive and unhealthy. Seriously people, you can't save your vent about whatever until a Thursday TP thread?
See, and that's sort of what the LIW used to do too for a lot of what's in the CT I think. At least if memory serves, which it admittedly might not. I've killed a lot of brain cells in the last couple of years.

I don't think of the CT as a check-in. It serves the same function as the 2WW and waiting to O threads on TTGP - keep the symptom spotting what's my cycle doing in one place. When I joined 2 + years ago, LIW was just a regular check-in so I'm not sure if that stuff used to be in there.

megrae12 · December 2014

Sterling13 said:

buggirl72 said:

My UO is that we don't need a daily TP thread. I think it is destructive and unhealthy. Seriously people, you can't save your vent about whatever until a Thursday TP thread?

This! I feel like it's petty to have a TP every day. Life is hard, it's always going to be that way. If all you focus on is that, you are not living out to full potential and are dragging others down with you. I agree that a weekly one will suffice. All the TPs are basically about pgs anyway. After a while it gets old.
But with that, is there anything wrong with if you have a truly heinous TP worthy of its own post, to just post it?

I don't think so. Post it if it's truly heinous.

TowerClimbersWife · December 2014

I have a totally unrelated TTCAL OP... but first I'll comment on the ones that are TTCAL related. I have no idea how things used to work, but I know as a newb I've felt a little hesitant to jump right in (though I have forced myself to). Just because I had anxiety about what was appropriate to post where. I've since figured it out... but I didn't post on my first July loss board because no one there had a 2015 EDD, so I wasn't sure if it was the right place for me. Maybe it was just my confusion??

My non related TTCAL OP is that I hate how gender binary everything is and how girls and boys are socialized. As a therapist I can't help but to cry for all the young women who are socialized to feel bad about sex and bad about their sexuality. I am so sad for boys who are socialized to think they can't be emotional and that their violence is just "boys will be boys." Changing culture and social norms is hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm just running into a brick wall every day.

megrae12 · December 2014

EurydiceNymph said:

Not really an OU but I want to get it off my chest:

Yesterday's thread regarding if TTCAL is safe was great. It really got the lines of communication open.

But it gets me down to know that, from past experience with these types of threads, there will be a lot of effort from those who read it for a week or so to do better. And then it will fade away. And with TTCAL being a revolving door, those who read it and took it to heart may leave for a variety of reasons, and new people will come who were not part of the conversation. In a few months another big heart-to-heart will happen. And things will be better for a couple of weeks. And then go back. And then another heart-to-heart...

I wish people would read the damn blog. All of it. I'm a little sick of hearing "I'm intimidated/they're mean" etc in these heart-to-hearts. We're not mean, and it explains the etiquette and that we're protective very well in the blog. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough to make the newbies feel welcome. Like I suck at being part of the board because people feel intimidated (albeit maybe not by me personally). Pull up your big girl panties and participate on the damn board if you want to be part of it. You're not going to learn, or become less intimidated, by not participating and getting to know us!!

All of this but especially the bolded!! I

you @EurydiceNymph. I don't think I have told you enough lately. :-*

PinkCamino · December 2014

EurydiceNymph said:

Not really an OU but I want to get it off my chest:

Yesterday's thread regarding if TTCAL is safe was great. It really got the lines of communication open.

But it gets me down to know that, from past experience with these types of threads, there will be a lot of effort from those who read it for a week or so to do better. And then it will fade away. And with TTCAL being a revolving door, those who read it and took it to heart may leave for a variety of reasons, and new people will come who were not part of the conversation. In a few months another big heart-to-heart will happen. And things will be better for a couple of weeks. And then go back. And then another heart-to-heart...

I wish people would read the damn blog. All of it. I'm a little sick of hearing "I'm intimidated/they're mean" etc in these heart-to-hearts. We're not mean, and it explains the etiquette and that we're protective very well in the blog. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough to make the newbies feel welcome. Like I suck at being part of the board because people feel intimidated (albeit maybe not by me personally). Pull up your big girl panties and participate on the damn board if you want to be part of it. You're not going to learn, or become less intimidated, by not participating and getting to know us!!

so many hugs ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))

You're 100% right. This conversation comes up at least once every few months and the explanation/excuses are always the same. There is some improvement but then like you said it reverts back to what it was as the thrill wears off I guess.

I really feel that the reason this happens is that TTCAL is a holding area for most people. It's a temporary place where you can get support and then move the fuck on. When you've been here for some time and are benched for medical reasons and are unable to leave, or, if you're here because you're battling with other issues it gets so so hard to be patient and watch the revolving door.

I can't tell you how many times I've felt used. It happened just last week when a grad who I was very close to on here had her rainbow and then proceeded to forget that I exist. It sucks, it hurts but it is what it is. The nature of ttcal is such that it's not meant to be a permanent home for anyone - the minority of us who are here and have to stay for prolonged periods of time are subject to a shit ton of extra hurt that most newer ladies are oblivious to.

buggirl72 · December 2014

cavewmn said:
My UO: I like the TP thread.

Right now I complain a lot. I know I do.
TP lets me get it out. Getting it out helps me deal with my messed up body right now.
My friend doesn't understand what is going on and she is busy.

I wouldn't mind it going to weekly. But I would probably be bumping it up at least 4 days a week. I am lucky to remember things day to day. Then again maybe it would help me in the long run if it was weekly. I wouldn't know until it happened.

Um, if it was posted weekly then you don't bump it up daily to add a response - you wait and post your TP on the day it's posted.

PinkCamino · December 2014

jj32 said:

PinkCamino said:

EurydiceNymph said:

Not really an OU but I want to get it off my chest:

Yesterday's thread regarding if TTCAL is safe was great. It really got the lines of communication open.

But it gets me down to know that, from past experience with these types of threads, there will be a lot of effort from those who read it for a week or so to do better. And then it will fade away. And with TTCAL being a revolving door, those who read it and took it to heart may leave for a variety of reasons, and new people will come who were not part of the conversation. In a few months another big heart-to-heart will happen. And things will be better for a couple of weeks. And then go back. And then another heart-to-heart...

I wish people would read the damn blog. All of it. I'm a little sick of hearing "I'm intimidated/they're mean" etc in these heart-to-hearts. We're not mean, and it explains the etiquette and that we're protective very well in the blog. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough to make the newbies feel welcome. Like I suck at being part of the board because people feel intimidated (albeit maybe not by me personally). Pull up your big girl panties and participate on the damn board if you want to be part of it. You're not going to learn, or become less intimidated, by not participating and getting to know us!!

so many hugs ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))

You're 100% right. This conversation comes up at least once every few months and the explanation/excuses are always the same. There is some improvement but then like you said it reverts back to what it was as the thrill wears off I guess.

I really feel that the reason this happens is that TTCAL is a holding area for most people. It's a temporary place where you can get support and then move the fuck on. When you've been here for some time and are benched for medical reasons and are unable to leave, or, if you're here because you're battling with other issues it gets so so hard to be patient and watch the revolving door.

I can't tell you how many times I've felt used. It happened just last week when a grad who I was very close to on here had her rainbow and then proceeded to forget that I exist. It sucks, it hurts but it is what it is. The nature of ttcal is such that it's not meant to be a permanent home for anyone - the minority of us who are here and have to stay for prolonged periods of time are subject to a shit ton of extra hurt that most newer ladies are oblivious to.

That stings. I take that as most everyone here just uses TTCAL for support and does not give anything in return.

I guess color me oblivious because apparently there is stuff going on that I am unaware by everyone here. Not really sure how everyone can make a change if we are not aware of what is happening.

Sorry if it stings but TTCAL is not a permanent home for most and I'm so glad that's the case. I'm in the minority (as are some other members) and I don't mean the revolving door as an insult or in any bad way - it's just the reality of what this place is. Nobody wants to stay here long-term and so when ladies move out and graduate it's only natural that the ones left behind sometimes dozens and dozens of times are exhausted.

Rachaeleigh · December 2014

PinkCamino said:
My uwhatevernpopular opinion is that I don't find passive aggressive snarky cute.

TB's culture is very much driven by snark which I'm fine with most of the time. In real life and on here I tend to speak my mind, I try not to be passive aggressive although I think everyone is to a certain degree. However, there are certain people who are just like that all the time and it makes me bat shit. I know there are a group of ladies here on TTCAL who dislike me, I've been made privy to some comments that have been said about me behind the scenes and whether they are 100% true, 50% true or completely fabricated it has alerted me to certain behaviors that just make me roll my eyes. Specifically, although I love the "love tit" function I think it's shitty as fuck to use it as a tool to exclude people who make substantial contributions to threads simply to send the message that you're not a fan girl. Honestly, got a problem with me? Tell me about it. Send me a PM and lets talk about it. Not replying to my threads or ignoring me in a passive aggressive way is totally immature and shitty.

I feel so lost when it comes to the mention of whatever behavior is going on. Yesterday in the safe place thread there was mention of manipulative and shady behavior.
In no way do I think the board is perfect, plenty of people get on my damn nerves.
I dont know, maybe it's none of my business but I was curious so figured I'd comment on it

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