This is really hard for me to do but I might as well introduce myself. I recently suffered from a loss at 20 weeks. I lost my baby boy on October 19th at 915. I woke up about 2 am having contractions and went into the er at 530 I then gave birth to my child at 915am . I was told when I got to the doctors that my cervix was open and I was going into labor. I felt like it was all a bad dream and mentally I was not there. As a FTM I had no idea wat was happening or what could have caused it. The doctor suspected it was an infection but I still haven't heard anything. I don't know wat caused it and I'm so confused. I'm hurting. I wake up and realize im not pregnant anymore and I just cry. I never imagined this would happen and I'm honestly going crazy. I'm hoping to get support as well as be a comfort for other women.
I am so sorry that you find yourself here. I never imagined this would happen to me either.
I have found it really helpful to talk to a therapist that specializes in pregnancy loss. She makes me feel like less of a crazy person.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my son the day after you lost yours. There are moments when the pain and grief are overwhelming. I have so many "what-ifs" and "I wishes" that go through my mind, which makes the pain even worse. And I know what you mean about the sudden realizations that you're not pregnant. It's hard, knowing all the hopes and dreams you've had for your child are suddenly gone, and there's no way to get them back. I've been using a pregnancy loss journal and it's been very helpful for me to work through these feelings. That, the bump, and my faith have been what's getting me through. I hope you find the support you're looking for here, I know it's helped me.
You took the words right out of my mind. I am going to start journaling and my doctor recommended a support group at my hospital so I am hoping that helps. It's so hard to be sad all the time and have so many things trigger me and I become stuck in a depression. I'm sorry to hear about your loss .
Thank you, @lexusolsen I know I will find support here and be able to be there for others. It's comforting to know others have gone through and have felt wat I'm feeling
We go to a monthly baby loss support group at our hospital. It has really helped me to have people to talk to who really understand. They also have some special events each year to remember the babies. Maybe your group will have that too.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I love the name Carter! This place really helped me cope with my grief and I hope it does the same for you.
TTC since August 2013
BFP #1 1/15/14...MMC 2/24/14...D&C 3/3/14
BFP #2 5/11/14 ... severe pre-e placental abruption our angel born sleeping at 22 weeks
I am sorry for the loss of your son Carter. Such a great name! This board and our local support group have been a huge help to me and hope they will for you too! The first few weeks are the hardest. Be patient and kind with yourself. Big ((hugs)) to you.
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son. Grief can feel like an out of body experience at times, and can make you feel like you're going crazy. I, too, go to a support group at my hospital, but have found this board to be the most helpful during my darker moments. The women here are amazingly kind and supportive, and though I'm sorry you have to lean on them, I'm happy you found them to lean on. Writing and journaling is also helpful and can help put words to feelings you wouldn't be able to explain otherwise. And sometimes simply allowing yourself to grieve is what you need in the moment. A good, ugly cry can work wonders sometimes I hope you get some answers soon.
Re: Intro