***December Angels Check-in 12/3***

Re: ***December Angels Check-in 12/3***

• O2girl member

  December 2014

  Hiya @mflowers929‌
  I'm feeling a bit better today! All the love and positive vibes from all the ladies sure helped hold me together.
  
  Skin is clearing...... But I have AF style cramps and I've only been off my last AF by about 1.5 weeks. :-? I do have super short cycles that normally average about 18-21 days...... But since This last cycle was my first real natural cycle in 18 months I think it might be a little whackadoodle for now. Oh well.

  Me: 38
  DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant
  
  DH: 34
  MFI due to Testicular Cancer
  
  Married March 2012
  IVF w/ICSI #1
  10 little polar bears
  FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN
  FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
  Beta 1= 276
  Beta 2= 662
  4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
  5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
  5/3/14 ~ D&C
  FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
  October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
  Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y
  
  
  
  
  January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
  Animals Interacting with Snow
  
  
  
  

  
  

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• MSU_Girl1202 member

  December 2014

  @mflowers929: Hi lady, how are YOU doing this week? Thank you again for thinking of us last night...I know it was a rough night for a few of us, so it was nice to know we all have each other.
  
  @O2girl: I'm glad you're feeling better today hun. Very weird about the cramping...maybe just hormones re-adjusting after being off the FET meds?
  
  AFM, yesterday was pretty rough. I love my mother and I know she means well, but it's just so hard when she says things that are so hurtful.
  Tonight my IRL support group from my RE's office had a get together for dinner and a cookie exchange, so that was really nice to get all my venting out. We got a big back room at a restaurant, and the only problem was there were two tables that were having birthday parties (with young children). Every time they started singing 'happy birthday' one of the girls offered to throw things at them for me...which was nice, and really comforting in a strange way.
  

  Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
  08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
  10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
  04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
  05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
  03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
  4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off

  5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
  7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
  9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d  
  10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
  2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
  3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
  6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
  2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
  

  6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  

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• Anselser member

  December 2014

  @MSU_Girl1202 I'm sorry that your mom said those things. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM.
  
   @O2girl - Sorry about the cramping. That is kind of weird.
  
  @mflowers929‌ Thank you for doing the check-in and for thinking of us with your post.
  
  AFM (Rant incoming)
  My birthday was okay. We went out to lunch with my father-in-law and then played DnD with our friends that night.
  
  Still waiting for AF to show up (haven't seen her since my 2 month long spotting fest between August and October.) So I called my OB/GYN on Thursday on my lunch to find out what he wanted to do as he had told me when I saw him in September that if I hadn't seen AF by November to call him. So I wanted to give it another week or so of being on the Levothyroxine to make sure it had been like a month and a half on it. So his nurse finally called me back at like 5:15 and asked me how my endocrine appointment went. I told her about the meds I was on now and she said that with me being on those meds she wanted to check with the doc to see what he wanted to do. (He had wanted to put me on provera, but she wanted to find out if that is what he still wanted.) She told me she would call me back and let me know and I have not heard anything since than. Frustrating.
  
  Here is my rant finally. I am SO TIRED of people telling me "Don't worry you'll get over it." or "Give it to Jesus and let go of it." or when I mention that this is going to be a rough month "Just push through it." or my all-time favorite "Yours will come." I AM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET! I LOST MY BABY DAMN IT! (sorry about the caps, I'm just tired of hearing it.) I am allowed to be upset, I am allowed to cry and scream if I need to. You don't know how I am feeling right now. Yes, I am a Christian and I know that I can lean on God for support during my times of sorrow, but sometimes I just need to vent and let it out. I'm tired of people being unsupportive about helping me out this month (I'm looking at you co-teacher who won't switch shifts with me for my EDD.) I have managed to hold it together since May, I am allowed to fall apart this month. I know many of you know what I am feeling at the moment and while you may or may not believe, I do pray for each and every one of you (especially this month) as we try to trek through this month and the holidays.
  
  *hops off soapbox* Thank you for letting me vent (I would have posted sooner, but I needed to calm down. I spent most of the night on Wednesday and the day on Thursday in tears and breaking down.) Sorry for the long post.
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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  January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
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