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April 2014 Moms
*sparky*
member
Do you still exchange gifts w/other adults in your family?
*sparky*
member
The ILs are coming for Christmas and every year we end up with this huge dilemma of what to get for them and what they can get for us. They are very practical and simple people and so they usually say they don't want anything but then if we don't get them anything they are upset. So we end up buying them some random stuff that they probably don't need.
They also don't like to shop off of Christmas lists so they want to pick things out for DH and me, and end up buying us a million little gifts that in the end we usually end up donating. Like DH's mom still buys him an Ansel Adams calendar every year, which started when DH was 10 years old. She also buys soaps, socks, little books about Christmas, that sort of thing.
So all of that is sweet and thoughtful and I could live with it but they are very slow and methodical in gift opening. So everyone has to open gifts one at a time, everyone else has to watch and they take pictures of everything. The whole process literally takes hours and hours. There have been years we had to finish opening the next day.
If someone has to go cook, or tend to kids or whatever, everyone stops opening and waits for that person to come back and then we resume.
I honestly want to poke my eyes out by the end of the day just to get out of sitting there any longer. It is not at all fun for me and it is torture for my poor DS.
So I want to suggest we change things up and maybe tell them to just buy for the kids this year and if they want to get DH and me one little thing that is fine but I am also ok if they don't buy us anything at all. We will give them a few gifts from the kids.
They will probably be a little offended at my suggestion that we shake things up so I just thought I'd see what other people do and see if maybe there is a nice compromise that I am not thinking of that may help this go over a little better.
I just can't take the marathon gift opening day this year.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do you still exchange gifts w/other adults in your family?
We exchange gifts with the adults but that's just our respective parents and siblings and it's usually off a list or the parents will tell the siblings what the others could use.
With my family we are doing a secret santa with the adults- except my mom always ends up getting us gifts so we will give a gift to my mom an dad. I have to intitate Secret Santa otherwise my siblings end up getting me expensive gifts which we really can't afford (especially now!). We open gifts one at a time but it's pretty quick- my mom wants to take pictures of everything but we kinda rush her along. It maybe takes an hour, but we only had one baby in the family, now two.
With my husband's family we stopped doing adult gifts years ago, at our suggestion as it ended up being way too much money and we ended up getting gifts we never used. The gift opening with my husband's family drives me nuts. The grandparents end up dumping all the gifts in a pile and the kids go nuts; nobody knows who got what.
@kkaew816 - that is kind of how the kids on my side of the family open their gifts on Christmas Eve. We all get together at my dad's house and there are at least 10 kids there.
On that side of the family, everyone buys one gift for each of the kids. The kids' gifts are all piled under the tree and when it is time to open there is about 20 minutes of total pandemonium and a huge flurry of wrapping paper.
It is the exact opposite of what we do with the IL's. They came once and I think they were totally appalled.
I don't mind the way we do things. The one thing I can't stand is DHs family likes to give ONE ITEM for a "wish list" so they pretty much pick out their gift. I hate that it doesn't leave any room for creativity.
We trade names with adult siblings. Our parents buy for everyone and we all buy for them (usually pooling $$ for a nicer gift). As fas as opening, my family does it free for all style, but DH's does one at a time. It doesnt take hours, though.
Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR
IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response
IVF #2 Nov '11 8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical
IVF #3 April '12 11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c
FET #1 Aug 2012 3dt x2 - BFN
**new RE**
IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN
IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie
9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!
Twin girls! 3/6/14
On my side we take turns, it takes about an hr (oldest of 6 siblings) but it's fun. DH's side is free-for-all style.
With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere. - C.S.Lewis
My ILs go WAY overboard (like a pile for each adult child & spouse, and a mound for each grandchild), and I don't think there is a way to stop them.
I know a family where they buy one stocking stuffer for each family member, and then everybody has just a stocking to open. I love that idea for the adults.
My family no longer exchanges with siblings/SOs. Since there are 9 kids now, they actually pick names (used Elfster this year) since it's too much to buy for all of them. My parents still buy for everyone.
Kids open gifts first then the adults open.
Dh's family, on the other hand ..... Omg so many presents. Like many pp, it's overkill. We've mentioned trying to cut back but no one is on board with it. To make it feel like less of an obligation this year, DH and I are trying to buy all locally made products and support small businesses. That way it feels more personal and we've had fun attending some artisan craft shows. That's made it better for us from a giving standpoint.
"Thankfully" (this is horrible of me, I know) FIL had some health issues where he couldn't work for a couple months so money is tight. They keep tellin us Not to expect much for Christmas. We keep saying "please don't get us ANYTHING." But they just keep saying "don't expect much!" So we will see.
Started dating February 6, 2012
Soooo much better already! Saving tons of $ is more fun for everyone