If you are throwing a pot luck....

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

Is it ok to tell a guest that they are not allowed to bring what they volunteer to bring. This just happened to me and its really rubbing me the wrong way. I volunteered to make a soup with sausage. The host is making gumbo. She said on Facebook, where this party is being organized and invites were sent from for a tacky sweater party that rotates hosts annually, that I could not bring soup and suggested "a sausage dish or something as simple as grilled sausage".

If I were hosting I would welcome two soups. I would never tell someone they couldn't bring something. My mind is blown. This is my husband's group of friends from before we got married so I don't feel like I can say anything. He said to bring it anyway but this chick will never let me forget that I didn't do what she said. Talk me down!!! I'm getting more pissed by the second. What do I do? Ugh!

ETA: tell me if I'm overreacting. I tend to when I feel like someone is talking down to me.

*sparky* · December 2014

This would totally annoy me too but I would probably be over it by tomorrow and would just bring something else entirely. If she wants to dictate a specific menu then she should be making everything. Otherwise just let people bring what they want!

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

That's how I feel. Then tell people what to bring instead of saying, what would y'all like to bring? Or just provide all of the food. Or say, I've got the main dish, bring appetizers and desserts.

chichi589 · December 2014

I wouldn't bring what she asked out of spite, which is totally not the talk you down from feeling offended response you wanted but I would feel the same as you. She is tacky for saying it that way there are much better ways she could have addressed it. I would absolutely bring your original planned dish.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

I'm the same way. No way will I grill sausage as instructed!! Ha! She can suck it. I may just bring soup and let me husband take the fall. He wants to text her and say, gumbo is not soup and we are bringing it anyway. Maybe I should let him. He can get away with it. They've been friends for 15 years.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

Exactly! If you don't start by telling everyone what you are making before you ask then make a change or deal with it.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

I'm so glad you all don't think I'm overreacting. I will be over it by tomorrow, but right now I'm pissed.

Dixon813 · December 2014

It's one thing if you asked the host if there was anythings specific to make or not make, but to flat out tell you no would definitely rub me the wrong way.

If this happened to me, I'd probably bring something completely different.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

I think I'm just going to make something different altogether. Thank you all. I just needed to vent and make sure I wasn't being crazy. I get embarrassed more than anything. Its insecurities bubbling up that make me feel scolded almost. If it were my friend I wouldn't feel so upset. If it were any of my friends they would welcome it and not say anything. She handled it incorrectly but its my issue as to why its bothering me so much.

Thanks for the therapy session A14!

And I agree @LalaMama81‌ that my husband should deal with it. I'm going to let him decide what to do and he can text her or whatever.

Teresa1896 · December 2014

You could make giant pigs in a blanket out of crescent rolls and kielbasa, with Sriracha ketchup and honey mustard to dunk them in. Not very upscale but every time I make any version of pigs in a blanket, they go fast!

ETA: id be annoyed too if I were you. If they want people to bring specific things, then assign people things. I would never tell someone not to bring something they wanted to cook.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

@Teresa1896‌ That's a great idea!!! We have a berkshire pig farm and so the sausage is something from our farm. That would a great way to use it!I never would have thought of that.

Teresa1896 · December 2014

zoopsiedaisy said:
@Teresa1896‌ That's a great idea!!! We have a berkshire pig farm and so the sausage is something from our farm. That would a great way to use it!I never would have thought of that.

You have a pig farm?!?! Those will be the best pigs in a blanket ever!

myla14 · December 2014

Giant pigs in a blanket sounds super good.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

@Teresa1896‌ We do!! I love the idea. I have a question... Would you cook the sausage before you bake them?

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

I think I found a recipe!! Great idea!

Teresa1896 · December 2014

zoopsiedaisy said:
@Teresa1896‌ We do!! I love the idea. I have a question... Would you cook the sausage before you bake them?

I always use sausage/dogs that are precooked. So yes I'd probably precook. Or boil in beer. Because everything's better with beer.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

Yum!!!

Talltrees82 · December 2014

We host a potluck with our friends every year at Christmas and we let everyone bring whatever. I feel like it's not my place to tell people what to bring because everyone's culinary skills and budgets are different.

I totally get why you'd be annoyed!

AmberLiz99 · December 2014

If it's a true pot luck you shouldn't even have to say what you're bringing. That would annoy me.

zoopsiedaisy · December 2014

@Vinny424‌ its really funny you said that. I always bring saltine toffe each year so it would be awesome if I handed a sleeve of crackers to her and said, here...I brought something's as simple as saltines. :-)

@aprilmay9 i see what you are saying and in most instances, yes, that is probably true. But its very casual each year. We use paper and plastic, its BYOB and dirty Santa. Its meant to be quick and easy, with as little burden as possible on the host. Everything goes in the garbage, including some of the dirty Santa gifts. Ha! I would bring my own bowls and spoons. Its really not about soup. Its about the way she handled it. Its never been a big deal what anyone brought. In the past its been all kinds of combinations, which is what a pot luck is to me...a luck of the draw. If you get 3 taco dips you get 3 taco dips. But I'm over it this morning. I needed to vent last night. And I really like the idea of pigs in a blanket like @Teresa1896‌ suggested.

UnofficiallyLO · December 2014

If I was hosting I wouldn't want 2 soups either but I live in a warm climate and soup isn't common at parties/potlucks. I also wouldn't say anything to someone offering to bring it, I would probably just complain to myself and move on with my life.
Bring crackers for her soup, Vinny is so helpful!

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