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Almost a year after my first miscarriage

smiriah25smiriah25 member
edited December 2014 in Trouble TTC
My name is Samantha , I was 10 weeks pregnant when I had a routine ultrasound to see if I had a heart shape uterus. The date was January 24, 2014 this is the day that I will never forget my world stood still when the ultrasound tech said she couldn't find a heartbeat. It will be a year in 12 days when I found out from the doctor that I was pregnant. The first couple of months I would hardly talk to anyone about my MC. When anyone would ask how I was doing I would tell them that I'm ok. I realized that I couldn't deal with my MC myself in July. I would get very bad stress headaches when I slowly starting to talk to my husband and mom my headaches started to get less intense. I also started to rethink about every decision that I had made since January. I'm currently going to a therapist to help with all of the emotions I have been dealing with. I'm the kind of person that has to be in control of everything I haven't been in control for almost a year. Ever since the MC I can't make a decision without having to someone give me a strict deadline to have a decision. I would love to hear any advice that anyone has.

[edited by mod- not smart to put your full name out there. creepers are everywhere]
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Re: Almost a year after my first miscarriage

  • pinkdoggiepinkdoggie member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Having a miscarriage is one of the hardest thing anyone can go through. Welcome here, everyone here is super supportive and amazing. 
    Me: 25 Dh: 25 Married since July, 2011
    Diagnosed with PCOS 2010
    TTC since December, 2011 (SA is Normal)
    2012-tried natural w/Metformin 1500 mg
    11/12 -Saw an OB, bloodwork revealed everything normal except for highish blood sugar levels
    1/13: Clomid 50 mg - No response
    2/13: Clomid 100 mg O'd BFN
    3/13: Clomid 100 MG O'd BFN
    4/13-6/13: Clomid 150/200 mg O'd BFN 
    Stopped treatment because of money issues and began to try naturally again from June-October 2013
    Benched until November 2014 - Started seeing RE, discovered that lining was very thin
    November 2014: Started Femera 5 mg -No response BFN >:(
    December 2014: Upping Femera, injectables are the next step if I respond 
    Also: Changed RE, first appointment on Friday, so treatment is subject to change this month


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  • SND1231SND1231 member
    So sorry for your loss. I agree with PP, there are some board like Trying to Conceive after a Loss and a few other board out there for loss that might be a better fit for you during this time.
    Married: 12/15/2012    TTC: 08/2014
    Husband: 26 SA: normal
    Me: 23 Low AMH and damaged ovaries due to chemotherapy.
    No AF or O in 3 years. HSG showed a slight T shaped uterus.

    High Risk OB 9/29- got the ok to get pregnant.
    RE Appt:  10/28/ U/S showed follicles, but also small damaged ovaries.
    B/W results CD0: all normal except low AMH at 1.3
    Cycle 1-November (TI)- Femera 2.5mg, 2mg Estradoil, and Trigger=BFN
    Cycle 2-December (TI)- Femera 2.5 mg ,4mg Estradoil, and Trigger= No O
    Cycle 3-January (TI)- Femera 5 mg, 2mg Estra    doil, and Trigger=


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  • smiriah25smiriah25 member
    I have posted on the loss board also
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  • DharmaChickDharmaChick member
    I am so sorry for your loss.  Reaching out can be so hard when you are feeling so down.  I hope that you can find some peace and strength through your therapist, and some comfort and sympathy here on the boards.
    ________
    ME: 34, Atypical PCOS (lean, no O without meds) + unexplained; DH: 33, mildly low motility
    09/2012: Start TTC after stopping NuvaRing.  No cycles seemed to occur.
    01/2013 - 05/2013: Tried Provera to "jumpstart" cycles. No luck.
    12/2013-     01/2014: Clomid 50mg - no big follies, stepped to 100mg; One mature follie, Ovidrel (HCG trigger), IUI #1 completed - BFN
    02/2014: Clomid 100mg;     One mature follie, Ovidrel trigger, IUI #2 completed, Crinone - BFN
    03/2014: Clomid 100mg -     no big follies on 1st round, 2nd round prescribed; One mature follie, Ovidrel, IUI #3 completed, Crinone - BFN
    04/2014-05/2014: Letrozole 5mg + Ovidrel HG to prep for IUI #4 switched to TI, Crinone - BFN
    05/2014-06/2014: Letrozole 5mg; one mature follie,     Ovidrel, IUI #4.1 completed, Crinone - BFN
    07/2014-08/2014: Letrozole 5mg; one mature follie,     Ovidrel, IUI #5 completed, Crinone - BFN
    09/2014-10/2014: IVF Prep - Insurance requires IUI #6;     Letrozole 5mg - no big follies 1st round, 2nd round prescribed; IUI #6, Crinone - BFN
    11/2014: "Break" - Letrozole 5mg to cycle before prepping for IVF - successfully O'ed, but BFN
    12/2014: Extending 'break' one more Letrozole-only TI cycle for mental health break - BFN
    01/2015-    02/2015: Prep for IVF - BCP then Gonal-F, Ganirelex, Novarel trigger;  ER scheduled 2/11!
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4cf919
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome.
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  • dominicandreamerdominicandreamer member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss and what you've had to deal with the last year. I'm glad to know that you're getting the help you need. We're here for that too. :::hugs:::
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  • BunnyBerryBunnyBerry member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that in reaching out to family, a counselor, and of course new friends here, you will find healing. :)
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
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    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009 | RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
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  • RachaeleighRachaeleigh member
    Sorry for your loss. I think that speaking to a therapist is a great idea. As cliche as it sounds, time has been the most healing for me in regard to my losses. Also, the more I have talked about it, the less isolated that I feel.

    4 Losses (2003, 2008, Apr 2012, & Oct 2012)
    All RPL and IF testing with multiple REs = normal

    5 IUIs = BFN

    All AL are welcome
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