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ashleyann62215ashleyann62215 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I see you in my dreams every night
Each time it's something new
Usually it's of a baby girl in pink
With eyes of sparkling blue
Each time I hold you close so tight
Swaddled against my chest
I always stop to admire you
As you're feeding at my breast
But I always awake too soon
With what are only pieces of a dream
Left silently to mourn
How much you mean to me
You never got the chance to begin
What would be your precious life
Why it had to happen to you
I'll never quite understand why
I never got to see you
Or hear your little heart beat
I never got to hold you
Or caress your little feet
I never got to name you
Or hear your baby coos and sighs
I never got to see you smile
Or hear your beautiful cry
The love that erupted in my heart
Is a love that still grows today
Even though you weren't given to me
My life has changed in many ways
You gave me the honor of being someone's mom
Regardless of what anyone thinks
You couldn't tell me otherwise
It happened the moment I conceived
25, only 25 days
That's how long your remnants existed in me
But a lifetime is much longer
And that's how long I'll carry you with me.
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  • laurenlalaplaurenlalap member
    Beautiful. 

    So sorry for your loss.
    DS#1: born Dec 29, 2013 
    TTC#2 since Sept 2014 - unexplained secondary IF
    BFP #2: 11.7.14  M/C: 11.27.14 @ 6w3days
    BFP #3: 04.19.2015 M/C 04.27.15 @ 4w3days
    BFP #4: 10.05.2015 C/P @ 3w4days
    Oct 11, 2015: Cycle 13. Starting Femara (2.5mg). HSG this cycle (all clear) - BFN
    Nov 12, 2015: Cyle 14. Femara 5mg + IUI - BFN
    Dec 10, 2015: Cycle 15. Femara 5mg + IUI #2 - BFP #5! C/P 4w4d
    Jan 10, 2016: Cycle 16. Femara 5mg + IUI #3 - BFN.
    Feb 10, 2016: Cycle 17.  No IUI or meds. Taking a break - Natural BFP Mar 5, 2016!!!! EDD Nov 16, 2016
    Moving to IVF March 2016
    Beta at 10dpo: 21, Beta at 12dpo: 98, Beta at 14dpo: 264, Beta at 16dpo: 745
    U/S 6w6d: single beautiful heartbeat of 121bpm - It's a boy!!!!
    Nov 3, 2016: Our family became complete. Welcome DS #2.
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  • cherish1986cherish1986 member
    Love this.
    Praying for you.
    Married: August 16 2014
    EDD: July 12, 2015  MC: November 30, 2014 8weeks
    Clover Grace
     our little angel.
    Report Reply
  • ashleyann62215ashleyann62215 member
    Thank you ladies:) first poem I've written in years. I hoped you all would like it and that someone could relate!
    Report Reply
  • Nikolie93Nikolie93 member
    Love this, thank you for sharing! *hug*
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



    Report Reply
  • ashleyann62215ashleyann62215 member
    Welcome :)
    Report Reply
  • IslandDreaminIslandDreamin member
    Wow, that's amazing that you wrote this!

    There's a quote I saw on Saying Goodbye: "Am I still a mother, as I have no child with me?'' My reply is this, "If you have held a child in your womb you are a mother, and I can think of no one who deserves that accolade more than those who have had to give their child back." Zoe Clark-Coates

    Also, "A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart."
    Report Reply
  • ashleyann62215ashleyann62215 member
    Thank you @IslandDreamin‌. I'm glad you all like it!;)
    Report Reply
  • ashleyann62215ashleyann62215 member
    Thank you @leloyd‌ & @agpjt413‌ ☺️
    Report Reply
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