Decisions...decisions...decisions... Update in comments — The Bump
TTC after 35

Decisions...decisions...decisions... Update in comments

vh2014vh2014
500 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic First Anniversary
member
edited December 2014 in TTC after 35
Going to sum my whole story up then share the decisions- so if you've been reading my posts you can skip to paragraph 5. 

DH and I decided last Nov since he didn't have children and it was time for my IUD to be out we'd just see what happened.  Of course there was a funny thing there in that he didn't realize it would come out in the office and he was planning to pop the question. Decided in January to go on the ring since I was buying a dress that wouldn't be as forgiving.  Plus, selfishly, I wanted to drink at my wedding and not be wiped out.  We got married in Aug and started trying again.

Real AF didn't arrive until September 26 but I'd been like clockwork my whole life prior to IUD and was back to clockwork on Nuvaring (yes, I know it controls my hormones so I would be).  Since then... well... we didn't temp or OPK or anything because we were just going to have plenty of sex and see what happened.  Which we did... and I was late... and yeah... couldn't resist, tested early.  and BFN.  Started temping on CD29 just in case I needed to see what was happening.  I went to Vegas shortly after (jet lag, some drinking after another BFN, late nights, lousy sleep, I've since discarded those temps but dots are still there).  Came back and still no AF. 

Finally went to OBGYN for my annual on CD47.  He put me on Provera after another BFN in the office and told me no need to wait until CD60 to start taking it.  Took Provera 2x day for 5 days as prescribed.... nothing. CD57 saw spotting... got excited... thought it was AF.. nope. Not even enough to hit the underwear but just enough to mess with me for 4 days. I have discarded those temps in my current chart too just to see what it looks like without them.  

Then my sister and I started talking about it and I decided maybe I should POAS to shut her up... low and behold BFN but positive OPK on CD62... along with a temp rise.  I read that sometimes the LH stays in your system and keeps the test positive so ok...but of course I'm curious because that doesn't make sense to me so I take one the next morning... negative... and one the next day at the same time because duh... I should have done that... positive but then 2 negatives. Then temp drops.... and now back up some... so basically.... I'm a wreck. Room has been cold the last 2 nights, and didn't sleep well last night so maybe temps aren't right. Thermometer is consistent.

So now what... Still no AF.  Was supposed to call Doc on Sunday if it didn't show so we could try to reboot it again.  Don't really want to call Doc back just in case temp is messed up and OPK is right. I'm on CD68.  Maybe wait it out until 14 days past the positive OPK. And I'm debating whether to change OBGYNs.  I've liked his laid back and reassurance but I really want answers and aggression now I think.  BUT if are successful, I'd like to go back to his style. And do the first 2 months count towards the 6?  If so end of Dec is when he would run tests (I guess) anyway.  He just did the "you will be pregnant and should relax" thing when I asked what if we make it to 6 months without success.  I know we aren't far into this but I'm 41 and this 68 day cycle crap is getting to my brain.  Thanks for listening. 
  
me:41   dh:43 
Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

image
My Ovulation Chart

Re: Decisions...decisions...decisions... Update in comments

  • uhm, call your doctor is what I would do.  cd67 no positive hpt and no flow?   I wish you well, for me I would want to start a new cycle and temp for real so I had a good chart for information.  Best wishes

    Me 42, dh 49

    6.30.98,  6.21.00,  12.4.01,  2.12.03,  3.21.14

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3d15a4

  • I am with Kelley72, I would call the Dr. 

    I would also be questioning his laid back attitude. That is what I have always preferred but as I near 40 I am leaning towards wanting someone a bit more aggressive. 

    I am so sorry you're going through this *hug* 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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  • Thanks @clgsquared - other than a good meltdown the day after Thanksgiving when no one was around I'm usually good at being analytical to ignore the emotion.  That... and every time I start to feel sorry for myself I read other people's posts and realize my little "bump in the road" is nothing compared to some of the things people are dealing with. 

    @kelly72 and @nikolie72 , yeah.. that's what I need to do but trying to decide what I want out of the conversation first and how long I want to give this OBGYN. 

    I'm 41... so I know the clock is ticking super fast... but if you take out our "break" we haven't hit 6 months until the end of next month.  I think I'm going to push for bloodwork sooner rather than later and hold out until at least next Monday for any medicine he gives me to restart the cycle, just because it will work better with our travel schedules for timing and that way I can not feel bad about the + OPK.  
    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    kelley72
  • Here are my two cents.

    First, you do need to return to an OBGYN, whoever you decide that's going to be.  I've been prescribed Provera/progesterone a few times and each time, it was for 10 days.  Could that be part of the issue?  I don't know.  I'm not an expert, but maybe you need to take it longer for your body to be "tricked" into thinking you ovulated?  

    Second, I think you should push for the bloodwork now.  I know it's 6 months for over 35, but I've also heard that if you're over 40, give it three months.  Plus, it's not like you're jumping into taking meds or doing IVF - it's just testing.  I'd go ahead and ask for a HSG for you and a SA for your hubby too.  Why not?  Get that stuff done and you don't need to worry about it later if you end up consulting a RE.  

    I'm turning 40 and "luckily" I saw a RE with my first pregnancy, so I got to go directly back to him.  I just don't feel like we have a lot of time to waste.  I totally get liking your doctor.  My OBGYN is really calm and collected - but aggressive in wanting to get me pregnant so referred me right back to my RE as soon as I asked her about TTC again.  Talk with your OBGYN.  Maybe he'll be more aggressive if he knows that's what you want/need.

    Good luck!  Keep us posted!

    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
  • This would drive me insane!!!!
    When I went off the pill my cycles were screwy for 6 months. I went almost three with no period. Then they were sporadic when they came back.
    I try to stay away from meds so I would wait to take the Provera again but I don't like your OB's laid back attitude.
    It probably won't be easy to get pregnant at your age so you have to be aggressive. We are dealing with 40 year old reproductive systems, they need tuning sometimes. Voice your concerns with him and maybe he will work with you to get things moving with the testing.
    Good luck and be pushy!!!!

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             image image

    All welcome

  • tlc35tlc35
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    edited December 2014
    Honestly I would call and make an appointment for an RE now.  If you need a referral I would ask your OB for one and if not I would just make an appointment.  You are 41 and having at least one long anovulatory cycle.  If it takes a few weeks it is OK to start some testing with your OB while you wait for your appointment.
    I would also call your doc for more provera.  I know you had a + OPK but based on your temps it doesn't look like you ovulated after that +OPK.
    ETA: and yes, I would say these 2 months count toward your 6 months of trying and actually I believe the rule is 3 months if you are over 40.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
    kelley72
  • I agree--see your doctor and at least get some preliminary testing.  If fertility coverage is an issue, they can probably bill it as investigation into your irregular periods (which would actually kind of be true)!

    I would count these two months as part of your six, too.  I've also always read that a person over 40 should see an RE after 3 months TTC.  My insurance didn't agree, sadly, but at least my OB gave me a thorough bill of tests so we could hit the ground running when I did see one.  If I were you, I'd do whatever I could to get the ball rolling.  Good luck!
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    image
    My Ovulation Chart


    image
  • Thanks everyone!  I've actually got great insurance.  The 2 months I was talking about "not counting" was last November and December before I went back on BC for the wedding.  These 3 months I knew counted.  Funny... I'd tell anyone else call and advocate but when it comes to myself I worry that if I call I'll come across as a PITA and nut. LOL. Thank you for the kick in the pants.  I'll have to call tomorrow because of my meeting schedule today (I'm on a conf call now...shhh) but I will definitely call and advocate for myself.  Just disappointed because I picked this Dr because I had heard good things about him helping others with issues. Instead... He's just told me his daughter just had another baby at 46 and one of the other docs he partners with had another baby at 43... to which I just wanted to shout... "Good for them, but they aren't me... let's talk about me!"
    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    kelley72kindershlitz
  • If you were having regular sex and not preventing then those cycle definitely count as week.

    An unassisted pregnancy at 46 is very rare and definitely not "the rule" and your doc should know that.  Good luck with your call tomorrow.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
    kelley72
  • tlc35 said:
    An unassisted pregnancy at 46 is very rare and definitely not "the rule" and your doc should know that.  
    No kidding... I think he was trying to help reassure me it would happen but really, it just irritated me. 
    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
  • KirstenAleciaKirstenAlecia
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Photogenic
    member
    edited December 2014
    Oh that would drive me nuts. I have no experiece, but i wish you luck! 

    Follow your gut on whether you stick with this doc or go with a someone with a more aggressive attitude.
    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
  • I don't have anything to add, but I hope you get to reboot soon enough OR you get your positive!
     image
  • It can take a while to get an appointment with an RE. Just incase you may have to go that route for fertility testing and procedures, I'd just cut to the chase. Your doc is way too laid back on this IMO.
    Good luck
    tlc35KirstenAlecia
  • UPDATE: I didn't mention in all of this I have Hoshimoto's which has been well under control for quite a few years.  I've been on the same dose of Synthroid for at least 4 years and stable so when OBGYN and I discussed TTC he said it was perfectly safe and should not effect my ability to get pregnant and stay that way. 

    BUT... because of the way Hoshimoto works (basically when your body attacks itself it changes your temperature) it could make my BBT totally unreliable and inconsistant.  I see my endocrinologist on Monday for an already scheduled appointment and we (OB and I) are going to wait until I talk to him and the blood results come back confirming nothing has changed there before doing anything.  I was ok with this approach because *if* that's causing my temperatures to be off then the OPKs could actually be accurate.   Of course, it could still be not accurate too but we will decide course of treatment after knowing if my thyroid is still "ok".  
    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    kelley72hooligans4
  • Wow, good luck @vh2014‌. I hope your doctors give you some good advice.
    I agree- make the RE appt and definitely talk to your ob. I met with my endocrinologist for the first time (also just diagnosed with Hashimotos) and he also had no concerns about becoming pregnant or being pregnant when taking synthroid. I started it today.

    KirstenAlecia
  • I'm 38 and my GP referred me to RE right away (to account for wait times) when I wanted to start TTC. She also did AMH and other blood tests herself before first clinic appt. RE should order full blood and SHG & SA for you and hubby to just see if you are dealing with any obstacles that are immediately evident. Then you should be monitored with blood and US for a cycle or two to see what is actually happening in there. I found my temp and CM and pain to be inconsistent where the US is 100% proof of when you O. I have hypothyroidism as well and was perfectly consistent in same dose for 4 yrs and RE bumped me up by .025 for TTC as they like your numbers to be slightly beyond what you'd normally be for optimal fertility. All of these things should be addressed by a RE as your OBGYN is too laid back. You have more limited time than a 20yr old and, while his anecdotes are reassuring, you don't want to waste even one month if you can run the tests and do the monitoring and know what you're up against! If you're perfect, then relax. If not, then at least you can correct the problem and move forward with eyes wide open, right?
  • Update: 

    First let me say I seriously <3 my endocrinologist.  LOL. He always listens to me and is as aggressive or unagressive as I want to be. My TSH level is exactly where they like them to be for TTC so no need to change my dose.  I had mentioned to him before that we were thinking about it and he had already noted that and made sure I was good (level was 2).  He also said I should call immediately upon finding out that I am pregnant as he'll want to monitor my thyroid level close as it will likely change.  Also he gave me the green light to POAS at 14DPO every month if I want as long as I could afford it, especially if it reduced my stress level. LOL  Had a very open discussion about temping and gluten and medical journals. Like I said LOVE him.

    So.. called the OBGYN back.  Was a little worried they were going to blow me off.  NOPE. I am set up to come back on Friday and we'll be getting testing and such rolling.  No need to wait for the end of December.  And their office has an RE.  

    The girl who referred me originally said other docs had said she would never be able to get pregnant and recommended a hysterectomy because of her "issues" (I was too polite to ask what they were since she didn't volunteer).  He did put her at ease but got aggressive in treatment after everything came back. She did eventually have a son... and then the hysterectomy.  So I am going to give him another chance with this visit and see where it goes. He did put me on the Provera on an agressive dose and didn't wait until day 60... so maybe he's more aggressive than I think, just comes accross as laid back. We'll see.... 


    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    wannabmama23[Deleted User]hooligans4
  • It seems like you're good with how things are progressing and I'm glad you love your RE! Good luck :)
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



  • Actually the one i saw today is just an E not an RE. Lol. RE is wroth the obgyn...well see how that goes Friday. :) Too many doctors.
    me:41   dh:43 
    Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014.  Never ending cycle starting end of Sept... 
    11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues 
    12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle")  OBGYN had no clue... about anything 
    01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so  possibly straight to DE and IVF 

    Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).  

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
  • Typing RE is such a habit! Sorry :)
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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