Babies: 0 - 3 Months

In Laws and Germs!

So my lovely sister in law brought her sick 2 year child to thanksgiving. No one knew he was sick till his medication started wearing off (kind of figured he was sniffling from being cold etc) and he proceeded to cough all over the house, food and my baby! "Oh he is on antibiotics" and "oh he is sick so i wont have him hold the baby" are the closest sentiments to concern she expressed about exposing an entire house of people including my 2 month old baby to a cold.

SO freaking rude and inconsiderate.

Oh and to make matters worse her husband (before we knew about the sick kid or no one in their household would have been allowed to hold the baby) threw and ABSOLUTE fit because we told him to wash his hands before holding the baby he cursed at my husband and stormed outside to "cool down" ...Total insanity.

Just really don't know how to deal with these people this holiday / cold and flu season other than keeping my baby home entirely but my husband is extremely close to his family and has never missed a holiday .... hoping to find another idea to avoid that. 
I am afraid just asking her before arriving, she might lie... then when we get there of course "well he is getting over it its not contagious anymore" 
Any ideas? 

Re: In Laws and Germs!

  • L+JBrooksL+JBrooks member
    edited November 2014
    Ok and there are a few things I should clarify... My son just had surgery so maybe I am a bit more over protective than i need to be. I take that upon myself though, I just choose not to bring the baby to houses with sick people. My father in law has a compromised immune system no sick children are allowed in their house, nonetheless I ask everytime before we go over if anyone is sick I was lied to. I think that is what really upset me.  
    On top of her and her family having a weird thing against hand washing. He played with the baby and sat at the table with the food (it was a buffet style) on his dads lap who was away from the table everyone was eating at it because he was mad at us for asking him to wash his hands. It wasn't until he began coughing on the food that his mom even admitted he was sick to me and everyone else. This was after he had played in the babies face... etc. They don't teach him or even ask him to cover his mouth. I know it's not possible to enforce this 100% but she doesn't even bother to try. 

    She just has a total lack of concern about germs in general, I really wouldn't be this uptight about it if they practiced hand washing and if he is sick to not be near the baby. She even called me after all this and demanded to know how long I was going to make her and her family wash their hands before holding him proceeded to call me a bitch when i told them till flu/cold season was over at least and hung up on me. 

    To be clear, I dont make them wash their hands every single time... just when they initally arrive and want to hold him if they are passing him around and have already washed their hands i dont mind its just when they first arrive. I don't feel its excessive. 

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  • Also, today I am sick already... and the baby is at 99.4 but luckily its not going up yet his doctor said with breastfeeding he should be okay as long as it doesnt get to 99.6.

  • leela02leela02 member
    edited November 2014
    L+JBrooks said:
    Ok and there are a few things I should clarify... My son just had surgery so maybe I am a bit more over protective than i need to be. I take that upon myself though, I just choose not to bring the baby to houses with sick people. My father in law has a compromised immune system no sick children are allowed in their house, nonetheless I ask everytime before we go over if anyone is sick I was lied to. I think that is what really upset me.  
    Then it seems like the best way to avoid sick people there is to stop coming over to their house for gatherings. It's not like they're suddenly going to start telling you the truth if you keep coming over. It is hard to skip family events, but if they are in the habit of hiding it from you when someone there is sick, it sounds like they are not taking your concerns that seriously.
  • Ask them to wash their hands.
    Wipe baby's hands at every diaper change & before meals.

    That's about all you can do. You might need to just be matter-of-fact about it. "Wash your hands please!"

    Also, some toddlers are always sick. It's part of being a toddler. I think you need to relax about that.


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  • L+JBrooks said:

    Also, today I am sick already... and the baby is at 99.4 but luckily its not going up yet his doctor said with breastfeeding he should be okay as long as it doesnt get to 99.6.


    A true fever is higher than 99...


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  • I get that your BIL and SIL don't seem particularly thoughtful but you are still overreacting. It is unreasonable to expect parents to keep their 2 yo home if they only have a cold. Or if they are on an antibiotic and have been cleared to resume normal activity by a doctor.

    I wouldn't be annoyed by a 2 yo coughing and not covering their mouth and being around my baby. And 99.4 is not a fever so you're good there.
  • You SIL and BIL sound obnoxious, but the onus is on you not to bring the baby as opposed to them not bringing the 2 year old. 
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