"You're So Small!"

HMW1985 · November 2014

Has anyone else had a small belly during their pregnancy? I'm 30 weeks tomorrow and EVERYONE says I am so tiny! I was skinny before getting pregnant, Baby's growing right on schedule and is in the middle of all of his growth charts, so he's healthy and growing fine. I usually get embarrassed and mutter a Thank You...but what exactly do you say to this?

sarals24 · November 2014

Yeah...I don't think this is going to go over real well here. Just an FYI. I understand it's annoying to have people comment on your size at all, but maybe keep this one to yourself...

reesedlightning · November 2014

I am 37 weeks and have had this my whole pregnancy. I am right on target for weigh gain and my LO has been measuring right on track. I just say thank you and move on, but I understand the awkwardness of the comment. However now that I am close I am SO thankful to not get the constant "any day now" comments because people assume I am not so far along.

NerdyNurse · November 2014

I get the same comments. I am a L&D nurse and had an OB tell me I need a growth scan bc he thinks I look small. I just ignore the comments. I have gained 20lbs and I'm measuring just fine so I'm not worried. I think the baby is just positioned well and I have a lot of space.

amieeyoung · November 2014

I wish... I am 4 foot 9 and petite framed so I show quickly. Most of my weight gain is in my stomach and with such a short torso it goes out... out... out.

So, if it makes you feel better looking large isn't fun either- all I get asked is "will you make it to your due date?" and people constantly telling me they think I'll go any day now (I still have 3 weeks) or "I don't think you can get any bigger".

As long as you and baby are doing well, though it doesn't matter what other people think or say. I don't understand why everyone thinks the thing to do is to comment on a pregnant woman and how small or big they think she is? We don't go around telling non pregnant people how they look....

Maybe you'll put on a little more weight near the end when baby grows quicker.

Sorry it's awkward- just smile and say thanks! and go on.

ur_mom222 · November 2014

I get this all the time too. I'm not very big to begin with and haven't gained much weight but baby and I are both healthy so that's good. I get told omg you don't even look pregnant. I just say "yeah I know" everytime. Some women just carry their babies in more than pop out, especially FTMs. It's just as annoying as being told you look big so hopefully everyone on here can understand that.

davisbki · November 2014

I have the same problem, and I'm a little self conscious about it. I'm not even a very small person. I'm actually taller than average with a long torso, so that's why I don't "pop" as much as other women. If people say anything I kind of awkwardly say "thanks", or I'll say "yeah, I have a long torso". It's frustrating that people feel the need to comment at all.

TashaPlusNika · November 2014

I don't say anything. I've measured 4-8 weeks behind with both pregnancies because I have borderline dangerously low amniotic fluid (only one substantial pocket, and it's small), so what can I say? I change the subject. It doesn't matter how my baby is measuring on ultrasound, even if he's 'on track' ultrasound estimates can be off by as much as a pound, so they're utterly useless. Which is why it's annoying when women say their baby is 'measuring big' and that even on ultrasound he/she is in the 90th percentile - sadly, you never know how big OR small your baby will be until birth, so until I give birth to my little guy, I have no idea, all I can do is hope.

Also - belly size has nothing to do with whether you were 'skinny' or not, it's just the way you carry.

UberBiz · November 2014

No. Except from FMIL. I'm 4'10", and I look HUGE, I usually get the "Omg you have how long left?" or "are you sure it's not twins?" and I can handle that, cuz I understand I look huge.

But FMIL, she is the ONLY one who has commented on how small I look. Like, I started off at a healthy weight for my height (15lbs less than what I started off with DS), and have gained about 25lbs so far (34w today), and she is all "last time I saw you I was thinking, man that girl needs to eat something!" and I'm like, wtf??... or "You know once you have the baby and start nursing you'll lose more weight you have to make sure you're eating enough" and I'm thinking, yeah I know this isn't my first rodeo...

CNYBride05 · November 2014

sarals24 said:

Yeah...I don't think this is going to go over real well here. Just an FYI. I understand it's annoying to have people comment on your size at all, but maybe keep this one to yourself...

Why should she keep it to herself? Your body issues are not her's and it seems as though plenty of people have had similar experiences. OP, I got the same thing with twins! It is annoying

jennypolkadots · November 2014

Yep. I'm 29 weeks and literally measuring perfect. Fundal height perfect, 20 week scan measurements perfect, gaining weight consistently. But I have no swelling and the only larger part of me is the bump. I also have a long torso so baby seems to have plenty of room. I've exercised and eaten healthy the entire pregnancy and gained about 15 lbs at this point.

I get comments constantly about how small I am. Last weekend a friend said I look more like 5 months pregnancy (I was 7). SIL once asked if everything was okay with the baby in a snarky way, because by this stage she had gained about 60 lbs and looked full term. All bodies handle pregnancy differently but my midwives keep telling me to keep up what I'm doing.

Rather you look small, big, or just right there are always people who want to comment on your changing body shape. It's the one time in your life it's considered okay to look you up and down and make a verbal assessment (it's not okay, of course). We all deal with it to some extent.

desertsun · November 2014

"Thanks, I'm happy that baby and I are both healthy." Change of subject.

Being pregnant does not make it okay for people to comment on our bodies. But when people are generally expressing interest and aren't being too negative, I try to just be graceful about it and say the above.

If I am offended by something, I may make a pointed reply in return, trying to make it known that the comment was not appropriate.

Repeated offensive comments from the same person get a more blunt response. "It makes me very uncomfortable to hear comments like that. I'd really prefer not to discuss that with you."

JenLy2012 · November 2014

For those of you who say "you wish" it's not great on this side either. Regardless of what people say whether it's your too big or too small it sucks. With DD1 I was told all the time that I was so tiny which caused both me and DH a lot of anxiety that LO wasn't growing or that there were fluid issues. I had some extra ultrasounds (medically related) because I was measure 4 weeks behind. Turns out my daughter was just super small and continues to be little.

Don't make us feel like our body issues aren't valid because we aren't getting the too big comments.

katiescarlett1 · November 2014

I got this my entire pregnancy, and for the longest time it was me feel so nervous about my baby's health, even though the doctors said everything is right on track. Even now, 2 weeks out, people can't believe I could have a baby any day.

Just know that as annoying as it is, people seem to mean well. Be better if people weren't so anxious to comment on pregnant body sizes-big or small! It hopefully gets easier for you. Those comments don't bother me anymore.

sschwege · November 2014

Yes, I had this with my other two. It was hard with my first because you worry all the time anyway, at least I did. I consistently measured 2 weeks behind with DD (measuring tape) and 1 week behind with DS, but my MWs were never concerned. I once had the owner of the local maternity store say to me, "You look so small! Is everything OK?" Someone who sees nothing but pregnant women all day long and is the mother of two! How could you say something like that? Luckily it was my second, so I had the confidence to shrug it off and say, "I carried the same way with my DD and she turned out fine!" For what it's worth I had two healthy babies who were both good weights, 7lb15oz and 8lb12oz!

HMW1985 · November 2014

I had my 30 week check up today and doc said all is well! He is sitting in a good position, which could also be causing the smaller belly. It is still nerve wracking because I'm so tiny, but he said that could change when baby drops too. Thank you for the support :-)

marisk · November 2014

I get it a lot too! 36 weeks pregnant and I measure perfect. It's frustrating, but a lot of people comments have more to do about making themselves feel better than you. I hope most of the comments directed at you are to make you feel better that you look good! Someone should write a pregnancy etiquette book. I'm pretty laid back, but was pretty close to ripping a few people a new one.

NicoleWI · November 2014

Opposite problem! But I agree that people should keep their mouths shut unless they want to say, "you look great!"

nilvero · November 2014

It's frustrating. I had that throughout my pregnancy and it bugged me because near the end LO did have some growth issues, even though I measured fine. Just tell them everything is fine and move on.

graciesmurf · November 2014

"That's funny, my doctor's have all said I'm average. Where you on the larger size when you were pregnant?"

ur_mom222 · November 2014

She's hardly bragging. Being small brings so much worry of having an unhealthy baby or not enough fluid. It's just as upsetting and annoying to hear you're too small as it is to hear you're too big. Nobody wants too small of a baby and the complications that can be associated with that.

allrightmeow · November 2014

mamakeeg said:

She's hardly bragging. Being small brings so much worry of having an unhealthy baby or not enough fluid. It's just as upsetting and annoying to hear you're too small as it is to hear you're too big. Nobody wants too small of a baby and the complications that can be associated with that.

Here's the thing, when my doctor is the one telling me Im too small/big, Im concerned/worried. Some random cashier at my local supermarket who knows jack about pregnancy would get an eye roll and Id keep it moving.

From one hour to the next the comments ran between, "you're so tiny" to "you look like you're going to pop". Why give these people so much power over your emotional state? They aren't trained professionals. They don't have a clue what they are talking about. If your doctor is telling you everything is great, why allow yourself to get tied in knots over something your mailman said?

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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Unknown · November 2014

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nursemarie925 · November 2014

I get this all the time. I'm pregnant with my fourth, and this is the first one where this has been a thing. It IS annoying and can be embarrassing, depending on the situation. I'm not sure why people feel it's ok to comment on the size of someone else's body, that's never ok. When I get these comments, I usually say that she's measuring perfectly for her age and because I'm tall she goes up rather than out.

allrightmeow · November 2014

TheOrneryMama said:

mamakeeg said:

She's hardly bragging. Being small brings so much worry of having an unhealthy baby or not enough fluid. It's just as upsetting and annoying to hear you're too small as it is to hear you're too big. Nobody wants too small of a baby and the complications that can be associated with that.

Here's the thing, when my doctor is the one telling me Im too small/big, Im concerned/worried. Some random cashier at my local supermarket who knows jack about pregnancy would get an eye roll and Id keep it moving.

From one hour to the next the comments ran between, "you're so tiny" to "you look like you're going to pop". Why give these people so much power over your emotional state? They aren't trained professionals. They don't have a clue what they are talking about. If your doctor is telling you everything is great, why allow yourself to get tied in knots over something your mailman said?
-------------------end quote------------------ So at 36 and being pregnant with my third I know logically that if the doctor isn't concerned than neither should I be however there is still that little bit of worry when you are a lot smaller than the average woman who is just as far along. These little comments (no pun intended) even from clueless people or even those who think they're being complementary bring that little bit of doubt to the surface. Also regarding the "bragplaint" do not think it's okay to belittle someone who is concerned about their size while pregnant. Being "too big" or "just right" (whatever those perceived ideals are) doesn't usually illicit fear and worry like the too small comments do. We are all concerned about the health of our babies.
-------------------end quote------------------------- Funny, the OP isn't freaking out about the comments of strangers. She's just asking what you say to these comments. She's not suddenly worried that they might be right. You are the one taking it to the next level for no real reason at all. It was already stated that the doctor thinks nothing is wrong. If you are the type to base your nerves on the comments of strangers then that's on you.

Right? For the life of me I can never understand these, "the nail tech said I was huge yesterday. COULD SOMETHING BE WRONG WITH MY BABY?!" responses.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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ur_mom222 · November 2014

I definitely agree that size comments, no matter what, should be kept to themselves. I also agree that we shouldn't be worried unless our doctor is. I just think constantly hearing comments about being too big or too small does put worry in our brains whether or not we know better and more people should be aware of it. There are a ton of women in this world with body issues and I feel like people assume they go away when they're pregnant. I actually just read a whole thread on unnecessary comments made to pregnant women (can't remember which board) but all of them were either you're too big or you're too small. Idk about any of you but even before I knew anything about pregnancy I would have never told a pregnant woman she looked too big or small! So shocking to me.

Unknown · November 2014

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ashleyivy03 · November 2014

Hey, I am 28 weeks and my belly is also small. I hate when people ask me, "do you eat?" Of course I eat. Then they say Ashley ain't feeding that baby. I get so irritated and I have to control my mouth. I have lost weight because I weighed 208 when I 1st got pregnant, went down to 197, and now I am 201. The doctor told me as long as my baby is growing and she looks good, I have nothing to worry about. He said I may gain all of my weight at the end and he said if I don't that still would be better for because I would be just as fine as I was when I walked in the doctors office. Lol!! That man is so crazy!! I guess that would be less weight that I would have to lose!!

fostersstudio · December 2014

Yes, I get that comment a lot. It generally doesn't bother me because I don't think anyone means anything by it. I actually think it's *meant* as a compliment even if it doesn't feel quite that way and can make us ftms a little nervous. So I don't take it personally.

The comment that bothers me is "Are you sure you're eating enough?" It usually follows the "small" comment and it truly pisses me off. I'm tempted to reply to the next person who says that with "Are you sure you're not eating too much?" And then I'll rub their belly awkwardly without asking first.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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sofia93 · December 2014

I get this all the time, especially from younger ladies who haven't gone through pregnancy and labor yet. First time I heard this I was worried and upset. But now I am actually thankful for the small size, just respond with "thank goodness, hopefully it'll be easier with the delivery."

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