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TTC After a Loss
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Intro

bumpuser10605721bumpuser10605721 member
in TTC After a Loss
Hello Ladies!

Figured I would write my intro after a week of lurking and so I wouldn't seem like some creep if I started randomly commenting on posts.
DH and I found out we were expecting on October 14, I was pretty paranoid for the first 3 weeks (My SIL had CP 2 weeks before I found out) I started spotting, went to emerge, Beta's were low (5100, should of been 8 weeks) and I was sure of my dates, so my heart was broken. U/S two days later showed empty sac and measured 6 weeks (I think I really knew then even more but had hope....) Beta's the next day dropped to 3000. My GP and I decided on a natural MC. I had light bleeding that weekend, and then Monday-Tuesday heavy ++++, Tuesday went to emerge and had retained tissue so needed a D&C.
I'm two weeks post op, still in shock and still up and down emotionally(why me, what did I do, will I ever get pregnant again, whats wrong with me) but I'm mostly up. DH and I are both eager to start TTC again. My MW (who I hadn't seen in clinic yet but had been msg'ing throughout everything) suggested 3 months until TTC but said at least one month and its our decision, and just to be ready (I don't know what "ready" means) my family doctor said not until next cycle and no sex until the new year (not even SEX!) I follow up with the surgeon in 2 weeks so we will see what he has to say. Until then I'm benched but hope to start TTC soon.
A little non MC stuff about me - I'm 29 DH is 30 next week. We live in a small town. Commute to work (ugh). We have two fur babies, Nala(5) and Peaches(18) indoor house cats. DH is going through a career change and I'm on a health kick (10 pounds down in a week! another 15 to go until goal #1)
Im a planner, organizer and cleaning FREAK and it can drive my husband up the wall.
I look forward to being active on the board as much as possible!
Me: 29 DH: 30
DS born 12/29/12 @ 41+1 
TTC#2 07/2014
BFP 10/14/14 MC 11/14/14 D&C for RT 11/18/2014 
Given all clear 12/15/2014 - back to TTC



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Re: Intro

  • bumpuser10605721bumpuser10605721 member
    PetraStonegirl said:
    I am sorry for your loss, and welcome to the board. We are pretty staunch for following doctors advice around here, but two things come to mind. No sex or anything in the vagina (like tampons, vibrators, etc) for two weeks post loss/post surgery. So, I would want to know why, what are his/her reasons. The second thing is what qualifies your GP over your MW in topics of reproduction?
    Honestly Im not sure. My GP is a woman (not that that should make much of a difference) she did say shes being a bit cautious (not sure if that's because she knows I'm eager to try again?) Im sure she has plenty of female patients with all sorts of TTC/Pregnancy back grounds and she normally does monthly pre natal appointments until you see you doc or midwife.
    Midwifes on the other hand always deal with just women......but pregnant women. Granted I do trust her opinion as I've know her for a few years. I asked her her professional opinion and she said 3 months, and that there is a risk of MC if you conceive prior. After I told her I was shocked about 3 months she told me my body needed it times to heal, I told her I totally can understand that and that I would then wait for my first cycle. She said that was a good choice and to go from there and for my DH and I to decide from there.
    trust me I feel just as confused! I would love for someone to give me a straight answer, which I somewhat got from my GP. Hopefully the surgeon has more insight. 
    Me: 29 DH: 30
    DS born 12/29/12 @ 41+1 
    TTC#2 07/2014
    BFP 10/14/14 MC 11/14/14 D&C for RT 11/18/2014 
    Given all clear 12/15/2014 - back to TTC



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  • bumpuser10605721bumpuser10605721 member
    jj32 said:
    I am very sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

    You will know when you feel "ready" with TTC again. The first month back trying was one of the most difficult emotionally for me. FX your appt goes well and maybe you can burn the bench sooner than originally through. *hugs*
    I feel ready now, but I guess I wont REALLY know until its go time. DH and I discussed it a bit this weekend, just talking about what if all the sudden Im scared? or super emotional at the thought of being pregnant again.
    Me: 29 DH: 30
    DS born 12/29/12 @ 41+1 
    TTC#2 07/2014
    BFP 10/14/14 MC 11/14/14 D&C for RT 11/18/2014 
    Given all clear 12/15/2014 - back to TTC



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  • catvaughn5002catvaughn5002 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board!
    Me: 26 DH:28
    TTC - Sept 2014
    # 1 BFP - October 5, 2014 EDD June 5, 2015 CP - October 14, 2014


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    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animal Interactions in the Snow
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  • rmpar29rmpar29 member
    I'm very sorry for your loss.  I would also ask about the "no sex" until after the new year.  That seems a bit long to me, but maybe there's a specific reason for it.  Many doctors like their patients to wait a few months before TTC to build back your lining from the m/c.  Just something to think about.  I was told to wait 2-3 cycles after my natural m/c, so it's not out of the norm. 

    As @jj32 said, you will know when you are truly ready to try again.  Some of us feel the fear worse than others and need more time to get back to trying again.  Just take your time and make sure you and DH are on the same page.
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS     6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
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  • rubysirubysi member
    Welcome. I am sorry for your loss. There has been alot of sound advice here and I agree that you might want to get more clarification on the no sex status.

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                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
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  • MellyMel15MellyMel15 member
    I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard and even though it's been two months since my D&C, I still find myself asking "Why me?" I hope you find the comfort and support you need on this board. 

    My doctor wanted me to wait to have sex (and no tampons) until after my post-op appointment (6 weeks after my D&C). I guess just to make sure everything was OK up there. She never really explained why (her bedside manner kind of sucked). She told me she'd recommend waiting at least 3 cycles to try again, but I've heard so many different things. The nurse who was with me before I had the D&C told me doctors say to wait 3 cycles, but she had an MC, waited two periods, and got pregnant with her daughter (who is now 7 or 8). My sister-in-law, who is a doctor, also miscarried around the same point as me (about 8 years ago) and her doctor told her to just wait one period, which she did and got pregnant with my nephew. 

    I think it comes down to is making sure your body feels like it is back to normal and doing what is right for you, emotionally and physically. 
    * Me: 31, DH: 33 * Married 10.16.10 * Parents of our furbaby Sophie *
    BFP: 8.28.14 | EDD 5.6.15 | MMC Discovered 9.25.14 (8 weeks)| D&C 9.30.14

    image

    "Everybody here has got a story to tell. Everybody's been through their own hell. There's nothing too special about getting hurt, but getting over it that takes the work. Because one way or another, we all need each other. Nothing's going to turn out the way you thought it would. Friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover because everything comes out the way it should in the end." -Glen Phillips, "Duck and Cover" 


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  • Nikolie93Nikolie93 member
    Great advice already stated but wanted to say sorry for your loss and welcome 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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  • rslh10rslh10 member
    Im sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.
    image
    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
    image
    • Everyone Welcome •
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
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  • dawnstar898dawnstar898 member
    Welcome to the board, so sorry for your loss

    Me 34 DH 31, Together since 2003, Married August 20, 2011,  TTC since May 2013
    BFP #1 August 24, 2013! MMC discovered Oct. 3, 2013, D&C Oct. 4, 2013
    BFP #2 December 17, 2013! MMC discovered Jan. 28, 2014, D&C Jan. 30, 2014
    Testing done: male with complete Trisomy 16, not hereditary. Tested me for clotting disorders, all normal.
    Feb. 2014 all clear again to TTC!  Will start progesterone supplementation with the next BFP just in case.       Oct. 2014 more testing just because, thyroid and autoimmune panels = normal.  Diagnostic U/S = no abnormalities.  Will keep trying for 3-6 more months, doctor still optimistic!

    BFP #3 December 11, 2014!  Beta #1 14DPO = 122.4 Beta #2 17DPO = 296.8 Please stick little one and be our Rainbow!

            Perfect little heartbeat of 156 seen 1/7/15 :)

    ***Everybody Welcomed***  :)  

    EDD 8/21/2015 Team Green!

    IAmPregnant Tickerrainbows                

     photo Multiple4_zps436a50cc.jpg photo April3_zps882432ab.jpg August 2 

    August 2015 Siggy Challenge: Favorite mean girl from a movie or show:  Kathy Bates in "Misery"

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  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    So sorry for your loss. ((hugs))
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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  • FutureMrsWright2012FutureMrsWright2012 member
    No advice to add (PP's are very wise), but I wanted to say sorry for your loss and the conflicting information your getting. GL to you.
    TTCAL December Siggy Challenge: Autocorrect Fails
    image


    ***siggy warning*** 

    TTC since 3/2012 
    DH - 34; nml swimmers; Me - 34; sinking AMH (now 0.55), low AFC, nml FSH/LH 
    Clomid + IUI #1 (6/2013) - BFN; #2 (7/2013) - BFFN 
    Bonus info: me - low TNF, low vitamin D, borderline low IGF (all improving) 
    IVF (May/June2014) 5R/5F/2T (ET 6/11) - no frosties. 
    + HPT 8dp5dt. Beta #1 - 71(6/20). Beta #2 381 (6/24) 
    U/S 7/11 (one perfect little bean, HB 150's). EDD 3/1/2015
    Baby boy Lincoln Alexander's HB stopped at 18w and was delivered at 19w (10/3/2014)
    All testing normal/negative including normal chromosomes - no answers... D&C 11/20/2014
    IVF#2 coming in Spring 2015
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  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    I am very sorry for your loss.  Welcome.

    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

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    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

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    My Ovulation Chart
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. I would agree with others the extended pelvic rest seems odd, I hope you get that figured out. ((hugs))
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  • K1978K1978 member
    So sorry for your loss. It is so heartbreaking to go through.
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  • tlc35tlc35 member
    I'm sorry for your loss and welcome to the board.  I agree with asking the doc who did your surgery about timelines/restrictions.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
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