Late Term and Child Loss
KorinneGilbert
member
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Intro-kinda long
KorinneGilbert
member
Hey everyone. One of the ladies from my BMB (Nov 14) referred me here and I am so glad she did. My story is a little long, apologies in advance. Even though such sucky situations all brought us here I am grateful for the support these groups bring (especially since I dont have a local support group to go to).
On the morning of Tuesday October 28, 2014 (exactly 4 weeks ago) I got ready for what would have been my 37 week appointment. Over the weekend I started having contractions. I called my doctors office and talked to one of the midwives. My contractions weren't consistent or particularly painful so she said to just keep an eye on them and follow the 5-1-1 rule. I had a gut feeling that I needed to go to L&D but dismissed it as me being anxious/paranoid. This was all on Saturday. Sunday morning I woke up and felt LO moving although not as much as he used to. Again, I didn't think twice especially being a FTM I just thought he was running out of room and Ive heard that when you go into labor they don't move as much so I wasn't super worried. Contractions continued through Monday and into Tuesday. I didn't even realize they were contractions because they were so similar to the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having.
What followed I will never forget a day in my life. Tuesday at 2 pm I left my house for my appointment. Arrived at the doctors at 2:25. Little did I know within the next ten minutes my life would be changed forever. Went to go give a urine sample, came back and undressed to prep for an exam to see how dilated and effaced I was. Before the doctor came in the nurse was taking my blood pressure, etc. Shen then (as normal) put lube on my belly and applied the doplar to listen to his heart beat (which had been strong the whole pregnancy). The silence was deafening. She tried everything, changing positions, changing doplars and then she said for me to get dressed so I can go get an ultrasound. I was trying to stay positive but deep down I knew.
I got dressed and went down the hall to get an ultrasound. I saw him on the screen and his little heart wasn't beating. He had left me. The ultrasound tech left to go get my doctor. They came back in, looked at the screen, and my doctor said "There's no heart beat, I'm so sorry." I lost it. They called my husband for me since I couldn't coherently speak. He got there in 20 minutes and asked if they were sure and had we done an ultrasound. We cried together. My doctor was thinking, at the time, he passed due to a cord accident since everything on the ultrasound looked fine. Once we calmed down enough my doctor and the nurse (who were there the whole time being extremely supportive) with my husband and I discussed a plan of action. My doctor had, in fact, confirmed that I was in the early stages of labor so I would be delivering soon and when/ how everything would happen.
My husband and I went home after gathering ourselves to discuss and process everything that had just happened. At 4:30 we left the house to head to the hospital since my contractions were progressing. I texted my parents and the in laws to update them.
My epidural was placed at 7 pm and I was given the inducing drugs (I cant remember what it was called but it wasnt pitocin) at 8:15. Despite the fact that my son had gone to meet the Lord I had the best, most positive birth and labor experience. It was like out of a fairy tale. With absolutely no pain, my LO was born at 1:13 am October 29th with 10-15 minutes of pushing and no tearing. I will try to attach a picture (Ive posted a couple on the FB page). He was perfect. He weighed 5lbs 14 oz and was 18 1/4 long.
My doctor noted after he was born and looking at the placenta that it seemed he had hemorrhaged and bled out, my son and the placenta were pale. The blood work they ran on me before I was cleared to go home confirmed. The concentration of his blood mixed with mine was the highest the hospital had ever seen. Confirming with nurses, if my son had been born healthy and alive he would have weighed anywhere between 7 1/2 to 8lbs. If I had gone the full 40 weeks he wouldve been at least 9lbs. Despite the outcome, I had the best delivery, the most supportive nursing staff (at the office and especially in L&D), and the best doctor. They gave my husband and I the most positive experience they possibly could.
We are still awaiting the results of the autopsy/pathology to understand why this happened and to confirm the preliminary cause of death. Today is the first time I have been able to come back to TB. I tried a couple weeks ago but couldn't, too many memories of when I was still blissfully pregnant and anticipating his arrival, not thinking my husband and I would be coming home to an empty nursery and quiet house.
On the morning of Tuesday October 28, 2014 (exactly 4 weeks ago) I got ready for what would have been my 37 week appointment. Over the weekend I started having contractions. I called my doctors office and talked to one of the midwives. My contractions weren't consistent or particularly painful so she said to just keep an eye on them and follow the 5-1-1 rule. I had a gut feeling that I needed to go to L&D but dismissed it as me being anxious/paranoid. This was all on Saturday. Sunday morning I woke up and felt LO moving although not as much as he used to. Again, I didn't think twice especially being a FTM I just thought he was running out of room and Ive heard that when you go into labor they don't move as much so I wasn't super worried. Contractions continued through Monday and into Tuesday. I didn't even realize they were contractions because they were so similar to the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having.
What followed I will never forget a day in my life. Tuesday at 2 pm I left my house for my appointment. Arrived at the doctors at 2:25. Little did I know within the next ten minutes my life would be changed forever. Went to go give a urine sample, came back and undressed to prep for an exam to see how dilated and effaced I was. Before the doctor came in the nurse was taking my blood pressure, etc. Shen then (as normal) put lube on my belly and applied the doplar to listen to his heart beat (which had been strong the whole pregnancy). The silence was deafening. She tried everything, changing positions, changing doplars and then she said for me to get dressed so I can go get an ultrasound. I was trying to stay positive but deep down I knew.
I got dressed and went down the hall to get an ultrasound. I saw him on the screen and his little heart wasn't beating. He had left me. The ultrasound tech left to go get my doctor. They came back in, looked at the screen, and my doctor said "There's no heart beat, I'm so sorry." I lost it. They called my husband for me since I couldn't coherently speak. He got there in 20 minutes and asked if they were sure and had we done an ultrasound. We cried together. My doctor was thinking, at the time, he passed due to a cord accident since everything on the ultrasound looked fine. Once we calmed down enough my doctor and the nurse (who were there the whole time being extremely supportive) with my husband and I discussed a plan of action. My doctor had, in fact, confirmed that I was in the early stages of labor so I would be delivering soon and when/ how everything would happen.
My husband and I went home after gathering ourselves to discuss and process everything that had just happened. At 4:30 we left the house to head to the hospital since my contractions were progressing. I texted my parents and the in laws to update them.
My epidural was placed at 7 pm and I was given the inducing drugs (I cant remember what it was called but it wasnt pitocin) at 8:15. Despite the fact that my son had gone to meet the Lord I had the best, most positive birth and labor experience. It was like out of a fairy tale. With absolutely no pain, my LO was born at 1:13 am October 29th with 10-15 minutes of pushing and no tearing. I will try to attach a picture (Ive posted a couple on the FB page). He was perfect. He weighed 5lbs 14 oz and was 18 1/4 long.
My doctor noted after he was born and looking at the placenta that it seemed he had hemorrhaged and bled out, my son and the placenta were pale. The blood work they ran on me before I was cleared to go home confirmed. The concentration of his blood mixed with mine was the highest the hospital had ever seen. Confirming with nurses, if my son had been born healthy and alive he would have weighed anywhere between 7 1/2 to 8lbs. If I had gone the full 40 weeks he wouldve been at least 9lbs. Despite the outcome, I had the best delivery, the most supportive nursing staff (at the office and especially in L&D), and the best doctor. They gave my husband and I the most positive experience they possibly could.
We are still awaiting the results of the autopsy/pathology to understand why this happened and to confirm the preliminary cause of death. Today is the first time I have been able to come back to TB. I tried a couple weeks ago but couldn't, too many memories of when I was still blissfully pregnant and anticipating his arrival, not thinking my husband and I would be coming home to an empty nursery and quiet house.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro-kinda long
@flutterfly88 His name is Stanley Daniel Gilbert. DH and I were honoring our grandfathers. His was Stanley and mine is Daniel. We kept his name a secret until he was born because one name we had previously picked out another couple in our group of acquaintances took so we agreed on Stanley Daniel. We knew it was perfect, it's like music to our ears. We have both said we don't know how we are going to pick another name when we TTC because his was perfect.
Thank you ladies, Wed-yesterday (friday) was really really hard. Today I feel ok. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving