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February 2015 Moms
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non baby related - WWYD MIL q?

kerrigrooveskerrigrooves member
edited December 2014 in February 2015 Moms
Maybe this should go in spam but I need some advice - 7 yrs ago my MIL gave us a small 6 person dining room table and chairs. Its a solid oak table and my FIL had sanded it and stained it and its been in their family for let's say 20 yrs. When we got the table, it was cracked down the middle and we had it repaired, two of the chairs are broken (wobbly) and the crack is still noticeable.

Last year we bought a house and used the small table up until this fall when we purchased a new, larger table with a matching credenza. I insisted on a new table but I did warn DH that he should consult his mom about what to do with the old table

This weekend my MIL asked what we did with "her table and chairs that she LOANED us" and DH told her we got rid of it. We didnt tell her we sold it on craigslist, we told her we gave it away.

She is super pissed that he didnt tell her first and she thinks we shouldve kept it in our basement.

Note: she is a semi-hoarder (I am not even close) and a very strong-willed Italian NYer

non baby related - WWYD MIL q? 163 votes

stay out of it and let DH deal with his mom
96% 157 votes
send an apologetic email letting her know I did tell DH to talk to her first & that he ignored me
3% 5 votes
try and get the table back (I have the email of the woman who bought it)
0% 1 vote
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Re: non baby related - WWYD MIL q?

  • kerrigrooveskerrigrooves member
    yikes, computer was wonky and acted like it didnt post...woops
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  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    Sounds like she's just having a hoarding reaction to it. I mean it was broken and clearly wasn't "that important" to her to be clear about the loan at the get go. I wouldn't worry about it, he can deal with her. 
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  • Beth.1212Beth.1212 member
    Wow, as of right now all votes (46) are for the same option. I've never seen that! 

    I concur, OP - let DH deal with it. 
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  • ordinary1ordinary1 member
    I would let h handle it, but if she said anything to me I would apologize and say I didn't know she wanted it back.
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  • HailsMomHailsMom member
    Let DH handle it, but make sure he knows you have the e-mail for the woman you guys sold it to, in case it comes to that.
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  • ConstanceGoodspeedConstanceGoodspeed member
    20 years is not that long. I think my house has dust bunnies that old.

    I feel your pain; I also have a strong-willed, Italian NY MIL who is a semi hoarder (every little piece of crap has some sort of sentimental value and must be kept).
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  • mishka29mishka29 member
    While I do like the idea of throwing DH under the bus on this, I went with stay out of it.
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  • toadandbug12toadandbug12 member
    Sounds like she might be more upset that you got a new table and aren't using the one that she gave you rather than wanting the table back. I would stay out of it unless asked directly and then be honest and tell her you didn't know she wanted it back.


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  • umbcptumbcpt member
    We have an unwritten policy in our family.  If you get a piece of furniture from a family member, you offer it back to that person prior to getting rid of it.  Clearly, your DH did not do this.  This is his problem to deal with.  I just hope he doesn't take the easy route and blame it all on you.  I would almost want to be there when he has the discussion, so that I wouldn't be thrown under the bus.  

    I just wouldn't want a table to ruin a relationship.  



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  • TexasMamma0809TexasMamma0809 member
    This sounds like my crazy family :) I agree DH should handle, but there are so many more important things coming up with new baby, if I had the info I might just try to see if table was available just in case. Sounds wussy I know but if this one little email could divert a family crisis is do it. There are bigger more important battles. Then you'd have exhausted your options and even be able to say you tried...
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