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February 2015 Moms
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we're nowhere with names - what can I do here?

kerrycharpekerrycharpe member
in February 2015 Moms
I'm a little frustrated. DH's baby-naming strategy turns out to be "suggest nothing, shoot down everything". I'm 29 weeks, and we have zero names. There was a MN that he'd chosen but he threw that out the other day. It's not stylistic - I've pulled names from every imaginable genre. I've looked everywhere. He just says "I don't like any names". His friend told him her parents named her in the hospital and he wants to do that. I can't hang - post-C-section +newborn+ hospital is hard enough on me - but I compromised and said we could go in with two or three and choose from there.

I dropped it completely for Oct and almost but the last few days of Nov. Everyone just laughs and says we have plenty of time, but it bugs me. In reality this kiddo will come somewhat early, I'm working like a maniac and December/first half of Jan is insane. To me she'll be here pretty quick and there's so much happening in between. I don't want it to turn into a contentious issue which is why I'm asking for suggestions. I don't harp on it or bug him regularly - it's not like it's been discussed to death or anything. What would you do in my shoes?
DD Emery 2.16.05
Baby Girl EDD 2.17.15
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Re: we're nowhere with names - what can I do here?

  • mom2xover2002mom2xover2002 member
    If it makes you feel better my oldest two were named in the hospital. To be fair my oldest was in the NICU and when the nurse asked me his name I was hopped up on meds. He's lucky his name is normal...lol... Why don't you have your DH make a list of names he likes, you make a list you like so when you go into the hospital you have a general idea of a name? And if anyone asks before had say y'all want it to be a surprise. Also talk with your husband, maybe the name thing is making the time to Baby countdown all to real and he's freaking out but doesn't want to worry you?
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  • CdnFarmGirl08CdnFarmGirl08 member
    My husband was the same way. In the end DS was only named 2 hours before they discharged us.


     
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  • kefttsckefttsc member
    I started writing them all down on a large chalkboard we have. He would write down anything he thinks of too. It wasn't as "real" for him that way.

    Then we started erasing them along the way....
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  • Sahara6971Sahara6971 member
    Give him an ultimatum, lol. That is what I did with my husband. He couldn't get on board with a single name for DS#2. I told him that I was going to write down my 2 favorite names for both a boy and a girl and hand them to him before the birth. Then I told him to pick the one he thought best suited the baby when the nurses asked "do we have a name?". It was nice because my mind was at ease and also nice because ultimately, he got to choose.

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  • SiammaSiamma member
    Dont worry too much. We don't have a name either. We discussed a bit in the first few weeks but never came to a consensus. And every time I bring it up, its a bad time so he says we'll discuss tomorrow, which nrver comes so I decided to make a list of all the names I like and whenever he is ready to talk, even if at the hospital, I'll be ready with my list. I have so many other things which are unprepared that I decided not to really worry about that one area. I don't know if that was helpful. Sorry if I babbled on. Good luck.
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  • kerrigrooveskerrigrooves member
    we cant decide either, we have 2-3 names, I love one and he loves the other -Im hoping we can decide too as Im not into waiting...

    I like the idea of making him make a list of names he likes so you have a place to start
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  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    Absolutely was in the same boat as you--I'd suggest anything under the sun and he'd say no without blinking an eye. So we mutually agreed on a date we'd both bring a list to the table and see where we were at with them, to at least get one "long list" or SOMETHING to work with. I gave him a ton of lists and websites to peruse (he's a data-driven guy) and he came up with a great list at the end of the day. But it was like pulling frickin' teeth, so I feel you. Give him a timeline and some resources and see what he comes up with!

    In case you need resource help, check out:

    Nameberry.com (you can even link some specific "lists" they have--any criteria you can think of, they have)
    Behindthename.com
    Namenerds.com
    Nymbler.com (if he likes one name, it'll suggest others)
    SSA Baby names has the top 1000 from the last like 30 years you can pull up too. 
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  • magsamemagsame member
    @kerrigrooves thats DH and I. He has his favorite and I have mine and we are having a hard time compromising! Although I already did when we decided the MN would be DH's first name...so I should get my pick of FN :)
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  • Beth.1212Beth.1212 member
    edited December 2014
    I'd explain to DH that it was really important to me to make some progress on the name by the end of the year, and I'd ask him to come up with a list by then so that we could start to really discuss it. The name board made a site with a list of name resources he can use if he needs help getting going:  

    If he objects that he can't come up with a list because he doesn't like any names, I'd point out that LO will need a name at some point, so if he can't come up with a list that he likes, he still needs to come up with some names he'd be willing to use.  

    GL!
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  • jennjilljojennjilljo member
    I tricked DH into picking names. We discussed prominent scientists and political figures and stuff he was into and then I had him say if how he felt about a name. I also got him to help me name video game characters and talk about whether video game names would be good for kids.
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  • RMSteeleRMSteele member
    My H was the same way.. Quick to shoot a name down but never had any names to offer. We ended up sitting down together with the top 1000 name list from the SS website and I read off any name that I could maybe convince myself that I could like in time. We picked 9 and called the baby by each name for a couple of days to see how we felt about each one. Once we had gone through all of the names on the list we talked about which one we each liked best and I was shocked when we both said the same name.
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  • CogDisCogDis member
    I love the ideas of @Irishcurls‌ and @Sahara6971‌ !

    I don't have any better ideas than what they gave.

    I just wanted to add that I'd be driven nuts in your situation. For me, the name makes it real. I couldn't really get excited about this pregnancy until my DH and I had settled on a few names. It sounds silly to most people, but it was the reality. Once I explained it to my DH he got very serious about it.

    Good luck!
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  • lailoulailou member
    Don't get too stressed about choosing a name. I had a name all planned for daughter but when she came we didn't think that name was fit for her one bit. So it was back to the drawing board. Whilst recovering from my c-section I managed to hide from the registration lady to bide more time, but we got there in the end!
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  • wintersong139wintersong139 member
    You don't have to pick a name before you leave the hospital, fyi.
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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    We didn't have names for both of our boys until the day the MFM said we had to deliver. We had one first name and both middles picked out but it wasn't until 36w that we decided on the second MN. We still didn't decide who was going to be named which name until after they were born and I was able to go to the NICU so we could see both babies and decide who looked like which name. 

    This time, we have two names, but my first choice is his second and vice versa. We'll decide after we see her. I'd like to decide before, just because I want my preferred name, but I'm fine with this strategy (and hoping that after I go through labor and delivery, DH will give me my top choice).
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  • maryxc1maryxc1 member
    We could not agree on a name for DS and haven't made much progress this time with DD. We use the elimination approach. I copied a list of the top 1000 girl names from the internet. First DH and I separately eliminated the "absolutely no" names and got it down to a list of a couple hundred. Now we are each picking our top 20-50 and going to see if any overlap and take it from there.
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