~ Loss Check-In ~

CherryPicked · November 2014

Hi ladies, I hope you have been kind to yourselves this week.

Welcome to the check-in! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What traditions have you introduced (or do you plan to introduce) to include your children in the holiday season?

ikrystal · November 2014

**ticker warning**

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I think just more of what I have been doing - trying to do positive things for my boys. I've been getting ready to donate items to the NICU and Children's hospital in their names for Christmas, getting special ornaments for our tree, etc.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Preparing for the twins' first birthday in January. I think we are going to have our families over and have a balloon release and cake, and then my husband and I will go out to dinner by ourselves somewhere that reminds us of them. I'm planning everything a little bit each day so that I don't feel bombarded when the day is here.

QOTW: What traditions have you introduced (or do you plan to introduce) to include your children in the holiday season? I think every year, we'll get ourselves and our parents a new ornament for the boys. I also think we will continue to do hospital donations every year for them. I don't want the holidays to make us sad, and I want everyone to feel comfortable including them on special days.

CC1017 · November 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I feel like I've had some setbacks in the last couple of days. We have had some visitors for Thanksgiving and I just haven't felt like I've had the space to grieve freely. So I've been feeling more isolated.

I did buy myself a present. Did you know that Yankee candle makes custom candles? I ordered a candle for Grace with a picture of a statue of an angel holding a baby and it says "in loving memory" and then has her name below. I plan to burn it on special days.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My next goal is to start communicating more openly with my husband. He just doesn't seem to get what I'm going through. My therapist loaned me the book "Grieving Parents: surviving loss as a couple" so I'm going to read that and see if it helps.

QOTW: What traditions have you introduced (or do you plan to introduce) to include your children in the holiday season?

I bought Grace an ornament for my Christmas tree. I would like to start some kind of tradition to include Grace, but I'm not sure what. Maybe Santa will always bring her something, but it will probably be some kind of charity donation, or sponsoring an animal at the zoo, etc...

Littleowl913 · November 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? It's been a rough week. I had relatives in town and even though they really didn't press much, I think being with family makes me think about what if? What if I was still pregnant.?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? None right now but I see a new primary care doc tomorrow and I'm pretty sure he'll have new goals for me.

QOTW: What traditions have you introduced (or do you plan to introduce) to include your children in the holiday season. On Friday DH and I went to the cemetery to visit Ronin's grave. We bought a little fake Xmas tree and some decorative stakes. DH suggested we leave him wrapped presents on Xmas and then the next time we visit him, open them up and leave his new presents with him.

justyhaunani · November 2014

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
This week has been rough. I think the worst of it was feeling so isolated on thanksgiving and being withdrawn from my family. I just couldn't get myself out of my grief so I mentally shut down, getting back to work is hard because I get these waves of emotion out of no where and I want to just break down and cry, I've teared up in front of customers and they just look at me crazy. Each day is different for me. But I'm glad to say that today I'm ok. I slept good, woke up to my loving boyfriend and I'm feeling alright.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
My main goal and hardest is my health. I want to treat my body better and become healthier. Another goal is to look into my future more and start investing in a career.

QOTW: What traditions have you introduced (or do you plan to introduce) to include your children in the holiday season?
My boyfriend and I haven't decided what tradition we want to start but we thought it would be a good idea to go to the water and light a few candles in memory of our son.

CherryPicked · December 2014

@ikrystal - Thinking of you today. I hope you get good news at your appointment.

@CC1017 - That candle for Grace sounds amazing! Can you order custom candles online?

@Littleowl913 - Being around family is hard for me too, knowing a piece of my family is missing. ((hugs))

@justyhaunani - Lighting candles for your son is a beautiful way to remember him.

@flutterfly88 - I love the idea of an ornament with Parker's hand or foot prints! So special.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I survived Thanksgiving, if that is a step. We also attended a memorial service on Saturday.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

I would like to isolate myself less if I can. I need all the support I can get right now.

QOTW: What traditions have you introduced (or do you plan to introduce) to include your children in the holiday season?

We decorated a special small tree for Caroline on Thanksgiving, and placed her ornaments on it. It is pink and sparkly and so her.

CC1017 · December 2014

@kderoy - the information for custom candles is onl the yankee candle website, but you have to call a customer service representative to place your order and then you email them your image. It only costs about $5 more than a regular candle.

msunshine123 · December 2014

@ikrystal - I like your plans for the twins' first birthday and for the holidays.
@CC1017 - I love the custom candle idea for Grace. Thanks for sharing the information!
@justyhaunani - I like the idea of lighting candles. I plan to light a candle for my son too.
@flutterfly88 - I like your idea of Parker's hand or foot prints on an ornament. I'm thinking about ordering one with my son's foot prints.
@kderoy - I agree I survived Thanksgiving. I love the idea of Caroline's own tree.
@Tthgirl - I have a bracelet with my son's picture on it which I love. I'm sure you'll enjoy your locket too when your ready. Be patient with yourself. I like the ribbon idea for the tree.

ikrystal · December 2014

CC1017 That is so cool about the Yankee candles. I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing! I like the idea of starting a tradition for her every year.

Littleowl913 I like the idea of bringing presents. So sweet.

justyhaunani I like the candles idea. It gives you an oppurtunity to reflect.

flutterfly88 I'm sorry you and DH had a fight. Sometimes it is so hard to work through those emotions together. Big hugs to you.

kderoy I love having a tree just for her! I thought about doing something like that. I love that it is pink and sparkly!

Tthgirl so many hugs... it is hard to look at pictures, I know. I love the ones we have, but sometimes it is hard to see them (and we are almost a year out from our loss)

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