XP from 2IF: SD for second child? — The Bump
Third-Party Reproduction

XP from 2IF: SD for second child?

Good morning everyone!

After several years of treatments to TTC a sibling with MFI (including a failed IVF), DH has suggested donor insemination. Neither of us are really comfortable with it, but I said that I would look into it anyways. He said that he wants me to be happy, but that he would never be OK with it. To be honest, I'm not really OK with it either at this point. But here we are?

There are a million feelings that we both have, and it was suggested that we meet with a counsellor to discuss all of this, but I don't even really know where to begin? It's really difficult for me to fathom future children having a different biological father from DD. I know that if we're fortunate enough to have another child through DI, we would forget all of that, but for now, it's hard for me to wrap my head around.

If you are in a similar situation (DE or SD) for a second (or more) child, how did you come to the decision? Were you both on the same page at first? What questions did you ask each other? The counsellor (if you had one)? Your RE?

Thank you everyone for your input!

Re: XP from 2IF: SD for second child?

  • I'm not in your situation but I do think a counselor specializing in 3rd party reproduction will help you tease put your deeper feelings on the matter before you move forward. I agree that genetics don't make a family, but I could see the struggle with one child being genetically different and the disparity between the two kids. I'm sure it'd be mitigated with therapy but a fair concern!
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


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