Pregnancy and intimacy

chloepolk · November 2014

So I've been afraid to post on here after reading some rude comments on other threads. But l would really like to know I'm not alone. For the past month in a half I have like zero sex drive, which for me is not normal. I feel bad for my SO because he feels neglected an doesn't understand why I'm just not up for sex right now. Im wondering if anyone else feels the way I've been feeling and if so how did you explain this to your SO?

MrsHolley1344 · November 2014

I went through the zero sex drive for about a month and now it is still low. I think having his own baby book helped my husband the most. In the book he has it outlines all the stuff that I will be going through that will effect him the most is low-zero sez drive. I think that helped him understand that its not about him or our relationship, but the pregnacy. Sometimes hearing this stuff from another source is really helpful.

deduva · November 2014

I second getting you DH a book. Mine enjoyed A Caveman's Guide to Pregnancy bc it was written in "guy language". I would tell him how I felt at times and he would tell me he already read about it in the book.
Sex drive is low for me again this pregnancy, but based on my last, I know this will change. Tell your husband to be as patient as possible. Things will change throughout your pregnancy, don't feel too bad about it now. Remember to give him some lovin when you're having a good day and tell him you appreciate his support in the 1st trimester.

thursdaychick · November 2014

Am I the only one having the opposite problem? I am starting to go crazy.

deduva · November 2014

thursdaychick said:
Am I the only one having the opposite problem? I am starting to go crazy.

That's awesome...good for your hubby : ) My last pregnancy things turned around late in the 2 tri and a lot in the 3rd. Crazy hormones! I'm sure my DH can't wait for this trimester to be over...the poor the thing lol

chloepolk · November 2014

I checked out the thread she pointed out and it was really helpful to see all the women who are feeling the same. All I meant was I was nervous about saying the wrong thing because I'm new to the community and someone lashing out at me is all didn't mean to offend anyone.

chloepolk · November 2014

Thank you the thread was extremely helpful.

thursdaychick · November 2014

lol not so much. He doesn't seem to want it. I have always had the high sex drive in the relationship but since I been pregnant he seems to have none. And I really don't think it has to do with the pregnancy, in fact, I think he is more attracted to me now. It just something he is going through *sighs*.

deduva · November 2014

thursdaychick said:
lol not so much. He doesn't seem to want it. I have always had the high sex drive in the relationship but since I been pregnant he seems to have none. And I really don't think it has to do with the pregnancy, in fact, I think he is more attracted to me now. It just something he is going through *sighs*.

:-q sigh

nicnnatesmom · December 2014

My first trimester I always have zero sex drive. Like no interest don't touch me go away. By the second trimester its a complete 180 though. Hopefully it'll turn around for you!

joshandjulie08 · December 2014

I'm 10wks and just got my sex drive back this morning. Your SO will be grateful when you are finally in the mood again...

GASuzuki · December 2014

My DH and I are on the same page. We are just too flipping tired. Plus we've been married for 14 years so a break isn't gonna kill us.

allicat300 · December 2014

I have had zero sex drive too! My fiance thanfully understands... Last night i was finally in the mood but got such bad gas i ended up just going to bed... Yay pregnancy

carolyngrace · December 2014

People get "rude" replies on this board when they:

1) Fail to search for an answer to their question before they ask

2) Don't read the "newbie" post at the top of the forum

3) Ask repetitive symptom questions in their very own thread (Is cramping normal? Is no symptoms normal? Am I showing yet?)

There are other reasons, too, but those are biggies. In general if you look through the first few pages and something hasn't been asked, and it's worrying you, go for it!

Add me to the "DH has been less in the mood, too" camp. Not sure why, but his drive has been down as well since we got our BFP.

Lynn&Andrew+1 · December 2014

We've had sex once or twice since our BFP. He wasn't here when I found out. He was 713 miles away for over a month after I found out. And since then (I'm 14 weeks now) he has been dealing with life changes as he's recently out of the military and looking for work. I normally have the higher sex drive, but I haven't wanted it much either. Hopefully things will turn around for all of us in this boat soon.

Elley1486 · December 2014

deduva said:

I second getting you DH a book. Mine enjoyed A Caveman's Guide to Pregnancy bc it was written in "guy language". I would tell him how I felt at times and he would tell me he already read about it in the book. Sex drive is low for me again this pregnancy, but based on my last, I know this will change. Tell your husband to be as patient as possible. Things will change throughout your pregnancy, don't feel too bad about it now. Remember to give him some lovin when you're having a good day and tell him you appreciate his support in the 1st trimester.

...just looked this book up and it has now been added to my Amazon cart for a Christmas gift to my hubby!

As for the OP's issues with sex drive....I had none for the first 8 weeks (hard to want to do the hippity dippity when the thought of moving any part of your body makes you want to barf), however, one day it was just there and bam! It was great, served it's purpose and we moved on. I think my DH doesn't ever push me on it because he is worried still about "the effects"...no matter how many times I tell him he is ONLY rocking MY world and the baby has no idea what is going on.

Side note: The last time we did it, he said he got super turned on because he saw my baby pooch and he liked it. Score!

blastocarrier30 · December 2014

thursdaychick said:

lol not so much. He doesn't seem to want it. I have always had the high sex drive in the relationship but since I been pregnant he seems to have none. And I really don't think it has to do with the pregnancy, in fact, I think he is more attracted to me now. It just something he is going through *sighs*.

This is me, too. So frustrating. And like you said, it not a lack of attraction thing, just an ... I don't know what thing. I just don't get it (but I try to be patient!).

stinybean · December 2014

thursdaychick said:
lol not so much. He doesn't seem to want it. I have always had the high sex drive in the relationship but since I been pregnant he seems to have none. And I really don't think it has to do with the pregnancy, in fact, I think he is more attracted to me now. It just something he is going through *sighs*.

I'm in your boat exactly. We had sex for the first time on Saturday. We haven't had sex before that since we conceived. I'm 12 weeks now.

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