So I came across this story while searching for something
As a FTM who is planning to breast feed it got me thinking about what I would have done in that situation. Now I am in no way what so ever saying that I do not agree with breast feeding in public but personally for me I don't know if I would actually feel comfortable enough with myself and my surroundings to actually do it but who knows I have never been in that situation. I have certainly seen it done plenty of times but some of those times have heard "spectators" remarks about the situation, which are usually not good, from both woman and men and it has totally scared me away from BFing in public. I just always figured if we went out I would either bring milk with me or maybe go somewhere else to BF.
I posted this because I would love to hear from BFing STMs about your experience with it as well as BFing FTMs who are planning to BF what you are planning to do.
ETA: I have actually taken a peek inside those rooms that they had at my local BRU and the one that I saw was very nice. It had a nice glider chair and changing table and extra diapers and wipes sitting out as well as a water heated warmer for bottles and such. I don't recall the room being in the disarray that the room in this story was in but if it was I would most defiantly be deterred from using the room.
Re: Breast Feeding in Public
Moms who bf in public, I fear, will never win the battle of making people uncomfortable...
(PS- I will try to bf/pump again!!!)
Yea the last person that I saw BFing in public was at Panera. I think I might have stared a little too long lol but it was because I am pregnant, duh lol, and because the way she did it just kinda fascinated me. She didn't have a cover on but I believe she had a nursing tank on, I have never actually seen what one exactly looks like. It just looked like a spaghetti strap shirt. She wasn't large busted and you could tell that she was def nursing but couldn't see anything else at all. It fascinated me just because of how little she had on but still how little you could see. I dunno im still trying to figure it all out. But I am glad to see that NIP isn't an automatic thing that woman are comfortable with lol
As pp said it can be tricky to bottle feed if you are out for too long because you will also find that you will need to nurse or will potentially be in a lot of pain/could mess with your supply if you are skipping feedings often enough. Some BF babies also aren't too happy to take a bottle from mom- why take a bottle when they know they can get milk from you.
It took about a month before I was comforable to NIP (with the cover) but once I was it was very freeing. If you are a nursing mom and feel comfortable NIP you and baby can go anywhere anytime and not have to worry about bringing anything to feed baby.
@chunkymonkeylvr that's a good idea! Thinking about it if it was reversed I wouldn't mind someone coming up to me asking me about it. But then again some people aren't as comfortable about it. My mom and I were out the other day at a baby store and saw a woman with her newborn baby, my mom asked her just a few simple questions, like how much did she weigh and if she gave birth at the same hospital I am going to etc., which she answered, begrudgingly, and looked like she could burn us with her eyes, we walked away because she obviously didn't want to talk to us! See with me I know im going to be gushing so much about this baby that I would be more than happy to talk to anyone about her!
But then come to think about it I guess you never know what someone is going through. Like she could have been dealing with PPD which I can see now why she didn't really feel like talking to us. Didn't really think of that at the time.
@lynndavid6912 yea it really makes me mad when I hear these stories too cuz I have def heard them in the news before. Because of the smartass that I am if someone were to ever say something to me about it I would prob turn to them and say "oh sorry, well lets just take your meal away until we can a private place for you to eat" haha
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
@jessuhmarie so with the t-shirt/tank combo, do you mean you would pull the tank down underneath and then put her under your t-shirt as a cover?
@bostonchelle & @happymamax2 that def does make sense why taking the bottles with us would be a hassle. I never even though about the logistics of the situation lol I would def love to get to the point where I am comfortable BFing in public even if it is always with a cover. I mean I feel as though if I am committing to BFing then this is just something that goes along with it. Im just praying that she doesn't have too much of a problem taking to a bottle because once I go back to work (about 6-8 weeks) then my mom or SO will have her and will have to feed her from a bottle. We just purchased the Kiinde Twistii System because this seemed like the most efficient way to make that situation easier on everyone. So this is what I had in my mind we would take with us during our outings but totally forgot the heating up aspect of it. lol Eh we will see what happens I suppose. If all else fails I will go out to the car or somewhere private until I am comfortable enough with NIP!
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
@chunkymonkeylvr awww baby looks so content
See what has happened with my whole outlook on BFing is that I don't think I have a single friend who has actually BF their child and because of those influences I suppose I have come to believe that it just wasn't done much anymore. I usually get comments like "nope, baby sucking on my boob is just weird" (immature, I know!) or "it hurts too much so nope" or "its so much easier to use formula" or by my biggest influence which is my mom "you bit me (or I guess it would have been gummed me) the first time I tried so I never did it again". My mom is literally completely against BFing and has been trying to talk me out of it since I first mentioned it. When she realized that I wasn't backing down she became more receptive, or at least accepted it, but still thinks I should try supplementing from the very beginning to "make your milk go further". Her other lovely comments have included "you just cant make enough milk", "your boobs will get huge", "your boobs will be so sore all the time" she has been exhausting. But I am determined to give it my best damn it!!! lol No matter how sore or huge my boobs get lol
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
As for the little formula ease of use debate going on here, my daughter drank her formula cold from the start. So, not everyone is fumbling around heating up a bottle while their kid cries. We also used the formula pitcher and made a day's worth ahead of time so we weren't fumbling around mixing formula either.
I'll put the reminder out there again, that not everyone has a choice between formula and BFing, be sensitive to that.
Also wanted to mention that I see a lot of FTMs assume they can pump and bring a bottle. It isn't that simple. Your supply might not allow it, or you will find you don't want to have to pump and save up milk just to spare anyone the NIP scenario, or your kid might hate bottles...
I am planning to go back to work 3 days a week & I feel like pumping will be more anxiety inducing for me. I do home based ABA- most days I'm in and out of people's houses & in my car. I feel like that will be harder than in an office with an established routine. At least my car is a pretty private place.
This is true in most places, I believe. I know in Ohio, mom has the right to BF anywhere she would otherwise have the right to be. I think there's a website somewhere that has the laws by state...
I nursed my son in public until he was 2. Without a cover. I always layered a nursing tank with another shirt so you wouldn't be able to see anything but the back of his head.
Honestly? It was no big deal. I know lots of people have horror stories about being treated unfairly, but I never got more than a raised eyebrow. I received way more positive comments and questions than anything else.
Once your kid is here and you hear your baby crying, it can be a lot easier to set aside your apprehension about NIP because you know baby needs to eat or be comforted and you have everything you need to do that.
Assuming I'm able to breastfeed successfully, my hope is that I'm brave enough to NIP. But I tend to be pretty shy and introverted and non-confrontational in my every day life and I don't know if I'll be able to get comfortable doing it or not. But I'm going to try!
I follow this group on FB, it's titled breastfeeding moms, I think. I highly recommend following them. Good reads and advice.
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!