cemtery rant (ticker warning)

angelsnight · November 2014

Our angel is buried in a special section at the cemetery for babies born through that hospital. There are some mausoleums, and about a dozen in-ground burials which is what our daughter's grave is. I am familiar with cemetery rules about decorations and how they get cleaned up on a regular basis and in the fall and spring. Our cemetery is no exception, however in the almost two years she's been buried there, they've never taken away any decorations in that area.

So our daughter's grave had a stuffed animal, a pinwheel her Nana bought for her the day of her funeral and a couple of other decorations. Another baby's grave nearby didn't have an actual gravestone, but a garden stone with a nice saying on it. I assume they couldn't afford a real gravestone. All of the other graves had stuffed animals and pinwheels and other little decorations. So I was really pissed to go today and see that the entire section was bare. They took everything, even the garden stone being used as a grave marker.

Like I said, I know the rules, but I am annoyed that they didn't enforce the rules there for all this time, and then suddenly did. I am sad, those items had meaning and I would have taken them home had I known. Since there are so few in-ground graves, it would have been nice if they could have notified us that despite overlooking the decoration rule in years past, it would be enforced this year. Those are the only things I can give my daughter, and I am mad that they were just thrown away. I just needed to vent.

lexusolsen · November 2014

I'm so sorry. That would be really difficult.

CC1017 · November 2014

That would upset me too. Could you write a letter asking them to publish or provide some sort of notification for future clean up dates?

schulme2 · November 2014

I'm sorry. I know with the cemetery my daughter is in they do the same clearing twice a year. However, they keep everything in a back maintenance area for a while after. They had taken a couple angel statues last year and we just went back there and grabbed them. This year they took a couple other things and we just went and picked them back up. I would see if they might do something similar!

princezjk · November 2014

((((Big Hugs)))) My daughter is also buried in a children's section of a cemetery and the first fall/winter they never removed anything. So come St. Patrick's day, I dolled my little Irish princess all up only to find everything gone days later. I was heartbroken because they hadn't enforced the rule for months and like you felt this was all I could do for her. I still try and decorate for different holidays but just accept that whatever I put out is likely getting thrown away.

I am so sorry they weren't more considerate in notifying family. I agree that more consideration should be given to the baby sections. (((more hugs)))

angelsnight · November 2014

Happyin14 said:

This would make me absolutely crazy. So I am sending lots of hugs. I agree that you should call and see if they have things for claiming... But I am sorry it happened. I got upset when someone washed my LO's fingerprints off of our window. Something I knew I couldn't keep forever. If someone had taken something tangible, I don't know what I would do... ((Hugs))

Oh, this made my heart hurt. I'm so sorry, this would have made me insane.

Thanks everyone, I might try calling to see if they still have the stuff somewhere. Though clean up was at the beginning of November but I guess it can't hurt to ask. I doubt I will get much sympathy from them, after all, those are the rules, but I think it would make me feel better to give them a piece of my mind about it all.

Littleowl913 · November 2014

I would be livid. My son is also buried in the children's section and when we were buying his plot, the cemetery said they don't follow the regular decoration rules in that section. I look forward to buying my son toys and seasonal decorations for his grave. I also love seeing all the other plots with all the toys and decorations their families left for them. I would also ask why they all of a sudden changed their enforcement of the cleaning rules. I'm sure like you, many people had sentimental items that they would want back.

Noethola · December 2014

I am so sorry. That would definitely make me cry. It hurts when the only tangible things we can do for our babies seem to get thrown by the wayside. Big ((hugs))!

shandorfml2 · December 2014

ticker warning

That is so frustrating. I've heard this happening to other Moms as well. I had one of my decorations (a butterfly) taken and I have no idea where it went. It was really upsetting as it had been a special gift the day of her funeral and had been there for a year +. ((bug hugs))) mama. I wish they would be more lenient with baby graves!

Mel&John2013 · December 2014

*****siggy warning

I'm so sorry, how frustrating! I understand they have their policies, but I don't understand why they would suddenly start following them without warning. It's not fair for them to change their behavior without letting you know, that is not very considerate to the cemetery land owners. Like you said, you would have picked up the items if you knew they were going to be taken.

angelsnight · December 2014

Thank you all. I'm sorry to hear others have had this same issue. I wrote them a letter since there is apparently no way to email them. I'm afraid if I called I would get upset and not say everything I want to.

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