Annoying pieces of advice

Klavanga74 · November 2014

We did one of these awhile back, but as I'm really needing to rant and I can't find it, I'm starting a new one. First, this is my first bump of the day so Happy Thanksgiving! I'm super thankful for you all! You've made the last several months so much more bearable. I'm also thankful that my totally over-stimulated snd unable to sleep LO is FINALLY asleep!!

Ok...so I have two and they're both from my mother-in-law. One was a question..."do you put her down in her crib for naps now and she goes off to sleep?" I wanted to laugh. She's 6 weeks old...did they make babies differently 40 years ago? I can't put her anywhere awake and have her fall asleep! BTW, if you have a baby who does that at six weeks...I bow down to you! Second was that she clearly disagreed with swaddling. She kept unswaddling and suggesting that a) she wants to move her arms and legs...she doesn't WANT to move them but if she's unswaddled she will move them and she'll keep herself awake. This was followed by b) you should put her down sometimes and just let her exercise her little legs and tire herself out so she can sleep. Ok, and again I want to ask...did they make babies differently 40 years ago? And also want to point out that I have more babies than she did. Did I say any of it? No. Am I oversensitive today...totally. Pretty much any advice ftom MIL gets under my skin. So...what advice have you been given that's been totally ridiculous or has just irritated the crap out of you??

Jennyc00 · November 2014

Every time... Every time- you should put your baby on a feeding schedule. He's 6 weeks old!! And he's breast fed so I don't know how much he's eating each time so no I'm not going to refuse to feed him when he's hungry for my own convenience! Stay out of my business!!!!!!!

Klavanga74 · November 2014

Jennyc00 said:

Every time... Every time- you should put your baby on a feeding schedule. He's 6 weeks old!! And he's breast fed so I don't know how much he's eating each time so no I'm not going to refuse to feed him when he's hungry for my own convenience! Stay out of my business!!!!!!!

The same person tells you that or multiple people? Screw that! Nearly impossible if you are bf!

angeltennis3 · November 2014

My Inlaws are in town and also adamantly disagree with swaddling. We only swaddle at night in our attempt to establish a "night time routine" (and I use the routine extremely loosely because the only person it is routine for is me and DH). She usually sleeps in 3-5 hour stretches swaddled vs her unseaddled naps during the day of 30 minutes to 2 hours.

Yeah I will keep swaddling...

windwithfingers · November 2014

Jennyc00 said:
Every time... Every time- you should put your baby on a feeding schedule. He's 6 weeks old!! And he's breast fed so I don't know how much he's eating each time so no I'm not going to refuse to feed him when he's hungry for my own convenience! Stay out of my business!!!!!!!

This makes me so crazy. I go nuts when someone tells me this. No, there's no schedule. I feed my baby when he's hungry. Settle down and leave me alone.

shannonshare · November 2014

This is not advice, but an aunt asked my mother in law to ask me (already wtf because we were at the SAME table) if I was not making enough milk for my baby since she was crying. I was so pissed...a) my MIL KNOWS the baby gets enough to eat and could have answered, b) why didn't she just ask me directly, and c) my baby is almost 8 weeks old so I'm pretty sure I would have done something already if she wasn't getting enough to eat. I told her that I am making too much milk and she said something that I forget, insinuating that I was wrong. I proceeded to tell her how my baby has gone from 5 lbs 14 oz at birth to 10 1/2 lbs just over 6 weeks and that my doctor and everyone else have been surprised by how fast she is gaining.

I hate when people want to give you advice or question you in an accusatory way.

staryb · November 2014

People keep questioning me about if milk supply is enough because LO eats "too frequently" so she must be starving. Too frequently is roughly every 2 hours and totally normal plus she's gaining weight so no she's not starving. I also keep getting told I should be supplementing with formula for whatever reason.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

Any time I say DS has gas or has spit up, my mom asks if I can give him watered down apple juice.

sabby2 · November 2014

I've gotten the "maybe you just won't be able to breastfeed" comment in regards to how often my dd eats from MIL more than once.

My mom keeps suggesting CIO (gotten this from mil too) even after I've told her that it is inappropriate for a young infant.

MrsSarahRenee · November 2014

My MIL said baby has to learn she doesn't get mom Everytime she wants me. Um at 5 weeks she does get me when she wants... She is an infant! And only wants me when she wants to eat...

I hate it when people tell me to change her cause she has a dirty diaper. I explain she has gas and they say oh no I felt something more than gas. The girl goes once a week - you would know if she pooped. But FIL insists I check every single time and I am right every single time :-p. I know my kid, man!

Jennyc00 · November 2014

Klavanga74 said:

Jennyc00 said:

Every time... Every time- you should put your baby on a feeding schedule. He's 6 weeks old!! And he's breast fed so I don't know how much he's eating each time so no I'm not going to refuse to feed him when he's hungry for my own convenience! Stay out of my business!!!!!!!

The same person tells you that or multiple people? Screw that! Nearly impossible if you are bf!

Yes!! Every time they see him!!! I didn't have a baby to do everything my way for convenience. That's half the part that pisses me off. I'm trying to do what I feel is best for him. I pretty much want to tell everyone unsolicited advice is not welcome for a year and stfu!

hecklet · November 2014

Everyone always asks how long LO sleeps at night. Apparently all babies should be sttn by 7 weeks. I swear everyone looks at me crazy when I say he wakes up every 3-4 hours to eat(he is breastfed). I don't think it's bad to have to get up 1-2 times per night to feed. Then it's always followed up by "oh it will get better" comment. No probably not if I continue to bf but thanks. Eyeroll.

cmac6186 · November 2014

Yesterday we spent the day at BIL and SIL. They don't have kids. I was changing DD and SIL was standing over my shoulder telling me to make sure I clean out her lady parts. Really? Because I haven't been doing that at all for the last 6 weeks...

Side note- anytime SIL gives advice I get annoyed bc she doesn't and won't ever have kids and when I was pregnant would give me advice then too saying she's "been through it" because she spent a lot of time with her friend while she was pregnant and watches her kids a lot. Ummmm not the same thing

silliegirlie143 · November 2014

Now that we are actually house shopping (YAY!!) my FIL insists on telling me every time he sees me that we will regret moving because there won't be anyone to watch LO.

In case he missed the 50 million other conversations about the move: DH is a SAHD... This means HE will watch the baby

Also, I apparently like to let my baby freeze because FIL always insists that the baby is not wearing enough clothes. When he has dealt with her screaming bloody murder because she's hot, he can give advice about my clothing choices for the kid. Until then STFU!!!

Aurora1181 · November 2014

So not advice, but yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner we were talking about what we are thankful for- obviously I said my twins- and my grandmother goes, "you should be thankful for them. I don't think you were meant to have children, but you cheated the process." I was like WTF?! We did multiple IUIs and 2 IVFs to get pregnant and I had a very complicated pregnancy but STILL. I love my grandmother but COME ON! Being elderly does not give you a pass to say whatever...

ANGnJON · November 2014

@Aurora1181‌ Love tit for solidarity. WTH, I have the same grandma as you! Sometimes I wish I could just say STFU! But it's grandma.

sabby2 · November 2014

Aurora1181 said:
So not advice, but yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner we were talking about what we are thankful for- obviously I said my twins- and my grandmother goes, "you should be thankful for them. I don't think you were meant to have children, but you cheated the process." I was like WTF?! We did multiple IUIs and 2 IVFs to get pregnant and I had a very complicated pregnancy but STILL. I love my grandmother but COME ON! Being elderly does not give you a pass to say whatever...

Wow. Rude. Way to be the bigger person though.

Unknown · November 2014

This content has been removed.

victoria+james · November 2014

My family wants me to eat dinner out at a restaurant with them. I'm just not ready to commit to a location when I can't make a quick get away if M has a major meltdown. I'm just not there yet, so stop bringing it up!

krazyinsane · November 2014

My niece is 8 weeks older than DS and FF so they have a VERY rigid schedule on when she's allowed to eat. But DS is BF on demand. I got quite a few comments from my mom that he just ate. Finally I just said "and he's hungry again So I will feed him... If he doesn't want to eat he won't and we'll figure out what he wants then."

I hate having my kids compared to each other and other kids. DS isn't either of my nieces or any of my daughters. He is himself so just let us work out what he needs.

Aurora1181 · November 2014

ANGnJON said:

@Aurora1181‌ Love tit for solidarity. WTH, I have the same grandma as you! Sometimes I wish I could just say STFU! But it's grandma.

Exactly. There's not much you can do when it's grandma. Pretty sure I just looked at my husband and rolled my eyes.

Aurora1181 · November 2014

MrsCunningham22 said:

So not advice, but yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner we were talking about what we are thankful for- obviously I said my twins- and my grandmother goes, "you should be thankful for them. I don't think you were meant to have children, but you cheated the process." I was like WTF?! We did multiple IUIs and 2 IVFs to get pregnant and I had a very complicated pregnancy but STILL. I love my grandmother but COME ON! Being elderly does not give you a pass to say whatever...
Wow... Props to you for keeping your composure with that comment.

Thanks.. believe it or not, I'm almost 99% sure it wasn't even the most offensive thing said by one of my family members during Thanksgiving (topics of conversation included immigration, Ferguson, etc..). Yay family!

I'm used to it by now with my grandparents- back when we got pregnant I tried to explain to them how it all went down medically ("there's a thing called an embryo.. and it gets fertilized.. and there's a transfer..etc"), but now I'm sort of regretting it because I'm pretty sure they think we got pregnant via hocus pocus with a dash of witchcraft at this point lol. I don't think I even responded to her.. I just looked at my husband and rolled my eyes.

MrsL2B · November 2014

The Screamer cries for no reason. None of my grandparents had colicky babies, so their suggestions as to what he must be crying about are always 1) wet diaper, 2) hunger, 3) just wants his mother. Based on almost two months of experience, I can safely say that sometimes it's that he's just hungry, but usually it's that he's 4) unhappy to be either awake or alive, I haven't quite figured out which yet.

Leysin97 · November 2014

Klavanga74 said:

Ok...so I have two and they're both from my mother-in-law. One was a question..."do you put her down in her crib for naps now and she goes off to sleep?" I wanted to laugh. She's 6 weeks old...did they make babies differently 40 years ago? I can't put her anywhere awake and have her fall asleep! BTW, if you have a baby who does that at six weeks...I bow down to you! Second was that she clearly disagreed with swaddling. She kept unswaddling and suggesting that a) she wants to move her arms and legs...she doesn't WANT to move them but if she's unswaddled she will move them and she'll keep herself awake. This was followed by b) you should put her down sometimes and just let her exercise her little legs and tire herself out so she can sleep. Ok, and again I want to ask...did they make babies differently 40 years ago? And also want to point out that I have more babies than she did. Did I say any of it? No. Am I oversensitive today...totally. Pretty much any advice ftom MIL gets under my skin. So...what advice have you been given that's been totally ridiculous or has just irritated the crap out of you??

OK so it must be a generation thing. My parents too said that about putting LO in her crib. The also said I should stop putting her in her bouncer or swing so much and lay her flat in her crib and pack N play instead so she can kick her legs. They aren't here and don't realize that she maybe goes down in her bouncer or swing for an hour max and it's the only time she naps. If I put her in her pack N play she just cries.

staryb · November 2014

My boss wants me to come back to work, even though we don't have anyone to watch DD and I don't make enough to justify daycare. She says I can bring her to work with me and "just put her in a swing" while I work. Sorry but no she's not going in a swing all day, even if she would tolerate it. I also told her that I don't think it will work because LO eats very often and her response was that "She'll fit in great, we all love to eat here". She is EBF so yeah, not the same as a bunch of snacking adults... My boss doesn't have any kids.

eta: I know she is trying to be nice and I appreciate that she wants me to stay but I don't think it's going to work.

bumpuser10309732 · November 2014

My MIL has also made the comment about "letting her kick her legs to get tired" she's always tired that's not the issue around here. The issue is getting her to go to sleep! The annoying thing about her is that she doesn't listen and she thinks she's always right so she'll say the same thing a million times until you get in line. Then my mom is always thinking she's cold and throwing loose blankets in her sleeping space. This week my brother (who has a baby a month older and a two year old) asked if I started giving her cow's milk so she gets used to it. Uhm what? My crazy aunt goes when are you going to peirce her ears? You gotta do that early.

angeltennis3 · November 2014

^ @MrsBabe614‌ my FIL is offended I don't want to get DDs ears pierced. He wanted to bring back these expensive gold earrings from a trip overseas for her. I told them that until she is old enough to ask AND take care of her ears, no way. So instead they brought a gold bracelet that will fit her until she is maybe 2 years old...

If she wears it once I will be shocked.

Katedann · November 2014

My aunt just gave me LOTS of advice. My two favorites:

1. Undress her right before bed and let her work all of her energy out. When babies are naked they like to move more. She later mentioned that her daughter didn't sleep for the first 9 months. I think I know why...
2. When I mentioned that she spends most of her time in footy pjs, she told me to make sure I put my hand behind the zipper so I don't catch her skin.

Dani0329 · November 2014

I agree, the most annoying advice is sleep when baby sleeps. It doesn't work and not to mention I need to get things done around the house.

bumpuser10309732 · November 2014

crawford411 said:
We actually may get her ears pierced young. I had them done at 1 year old and I grew up already knowing how to take care of them. To this day, they are still my only piercings.

I should add I don't care that people do it. My ears got infected all the time from the metal in my ears so I really don't want to put her through all of that. Or buy my baby gold earrings...

victoria+james · November 2014

MrsBabe614 said:

crawford411 said:
We actually may get her ears pierced young. I had them done at 1 year old and I grew up already knowing how to take care of them. To this day, they are still my only piercings.
I should add I don't care that people do it. My ears got infected all the time from the metal in my ears so I really don't want to put her through all of that. Or buy my baby gold earrings...

I do wonder though... since they are tiny badgers and claw at their own faces regularly... how often do those tiny ears get yanked on? I can't imagine how freaked I'd be if there were earrings to yank on too!

angeltennis3 · November 2014

MrsBabe614 said:

crawford411 said:
We actually may get her ears pierced young. I had them done at 1 year old and I grew up already knowing how to take care of them. To this day, they are still my only piercings.
I should add I don't care that people do it. My ears got infected all the time from the metal in my ears so I really don't want to put her through all of that. Or buy my baby gold earrings...

Teah I also don't mind when others do it...it's just something g I don't want to mess with. And expensive infant jewelry is silly to me.

AppleGrapeMSTK · November 2014

erawka said:

staryb said:
My boss wants me to come back to work, even though we don't have anyone to watch DD and I don't make enough to justify daycare. She says I can bring her to work with me and "just put her in a swing" while I work. Sorry but no she's not going in a swing all day, even if she would tolerate it. I also told her that I don't think it will work because LO eats very often and her response was that "She'll fit in great, we all love to eat here". She is EBF so yeah, not the same as a bunch of snacking adults... My boss doesn't have any kids.

eta: I know she is trying to be nice and I appreciate that she wants me to stay but I don't think it's going to work.

I totally understand that you've made your decision and that your boss should respect it. BUT, I think it's amazing that your boss would let you bring your baby to work (even if she doesn't understand what that would entail)!

At my last job, I was allowed to bring my baby with me during certain hours. All of the mothers in my department brought their babies in on occasion. It worked best when he was bigger and could sit up and play in the PNP (which the dept. provided!). The newborn and walking stages were practically impossible.

While it was convenient and doable, I was absolutely my least productive when T was with me. I saved it for emergencies.

MrsL2B · November 2014

@angeltennis3‌ I have a gold bracelet and a gold ring from when I was a small child. It was sweet of my grandmother to buy them for me, and I fondly remember wearing them, but now they're just something I can never bear to throw out.

MuffinMom14 · November 2014

My mom asked if I had given the baby coke on her pacifier yet. You know. Just to see if she likes it.

No.

andrieya · November 2014

I can't believe so many people feel comfortable making comments about ladies' milk supply! Unreal! People are so friggin rude!

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