UPDATE Daycare dilemma

precious72381 · November 2014

UPDATE thanks ladies for the support, advice, and honest opinions. I talked again to another girl in the room and she assured me if abby is tired they will let her sleep. I told her I don't want her overstimulated and if she tired, she needed to nap. She said the babies really do adjust to the schedule and in joking said some babies poop schedule is even adjusted to the diaper change time. I'm going to give it a go next week and if she comes home too tired, I'll remind them to be sure she is getting enough naps. The babies are usually around 16-18 months when they move up to the next room and those babies are adjusting to sleeping on the mats instead of cribs.

So looking for opinions. Am I bring first time crazy mom or should I il gfight more?

Daycare is moving Abby to the next group next week. Most everything about it seems appropriate. It is for the babies on the move. Abby isn't walking yet but the room provides moving toys rather than all bouncers like the room she is in now.

The new room also has a pretty set schedule. Right now, the room she is in, babies are fed and nap based on demand. The new room, they eat at the same time and nap at the same time. Im okay with a schedule to a certain point. She will be 10.5 months. I don't have her on any real schedule except bedtime but even that is between 7-8. My issue is the babies take one - two hour nap all day. Abby is a terrible napper and can nap anywhere from 20 minutes - 3 hours 1-3 times a day. She usually gets a solid two naps a day.

I asked the girls if she is tired if she can nap and they said no. They keep the babies active and move them to new activities if they seem tired. I don't like this at all. I feel that is just overstimulation. I feel that at her age, she still needs two naps and should until she drops it. It is at a scheduled time so they are telling me she will adjust. But I don't think that is right. They turn off the lights. If a baby wakes up early, they play quietly with a book. I just think sleep is so important. I pick her up anywhere between 3:30-5:30. I don't want her falling asleep in the car and taking an hour or two nap at home because she won't go to bed between 7-8.

I finally asked the girls in her room if the daycare is getting a lot of new, young babies, and she said yes, there is a waiting list right now. So I feel that Abby is really moving up to make room for the new babies more than being ready. They kept upping her dates as well (from Dec 22nd, Dec 7th to Dec1st).

Im thinking of calling the pedi and ask his advice about naps. I don't want to become "the crazy mom" but I think it is terrible to not let the babies nap. I think this room is usually closer to 11-12 months up to about 16 months. Am I being crazy and should just see how she does or should I make it clear that she needs to sleep if she is tired?

amt0312 · November 2014

Hmmm, tough one. I wouldn't be wanting my LO to drop any of her naps just yet because that means she will be a total bear in the evening. She just simply cannot go more than 4 hours without a nap, even if it is a short one. This is when you really want to enjoy your time with her after work so it would suck to have a crabby baby. If it were me, I'd push it off a little bit longer and ask for a trial period in that room to see how she does, but that way you can change your mind if it doesn't work out.

Chelsea33833 · November 2014

That's very strange. Our daycare doesn't move them up until 1 yr old but even then I think the schedule is set to a point but still kid flexible. I would say speak up but at the same time what can you really do other than switch daycares? Think they would keep your kid in the infant room if you said no? I hate when he skips his afternoon nap and comes home to nap from 5-7, then goes to bed around 11-12!! If not, he's asleep by 8 every night.

BABYROSEJEANS17 · November 2014

My DCP doesn't move kids until they're at least a year. Plus there's 2 little girls in his class that's older than him and are/will be a year soon but they're keeping them in the infant class since they don't have openings as of yet and have a transition period. IMHO it sounds to me that they want to get those on the waiting list in sooner. If it were me I'd probably question it or delay it. But I agree on the whole napping thing. DS goes to bed between 7-8 and I HATE when he naps really crappy during the day because it means he'll wake several times in the MOTN. Good luck and I hope they delay it!

blue_elle · November 2014

I wouldn't be ok with it. M is not ready for that kind of schedule, and I'm not ok with forcing him to stay up when he needs sleep. Nor does he have the mental capability to "play quietly" when we desire.

Roses87 · November 2014

I agree. Tough one. I would ask the pedi. See what he says. You could give it a try for a week or so and see how she maybe it will make her a better napper. (Trying to be optimistic) I also have a 2 times a day napper so I am not sure if that would work for us either. Sorry not much help.

blue_elle · November 2014

Don't kids typically keep the second nap until 18 months or so? Why is the daycare trying to push 12 month olds to do this? (I know you don't know the answer to this, just thinking out loud).

chicki1012 · November 2014

DS is in the last infant room also, they just moved him up 2 weeks ago and yes it's also because of new babies coming in. The oldest in his room is 17 months I think and they also turn lights down etc for the older ones in there so they can take their nap. They still give the younger ones their 2 naps as needed, which I talked to them about. I honestly wouldn't be happy in your situation. Did u talk to the director? I think that is terrible they can't have your LO take naps as needed. DS also needs 2 and can't stay up longer than 4 hours. The thing they do also in his room is that they move to sleeping on cots at 1 years old which I'm pretty lury about. I can't see DS sleeping on a cot. We wouldn't even move him out of his crib till 18 months or later. It's frustrating. Anyways, i would talk to someone that over sees the girls taking care if your LO and see what they say. Good luck and sorry your dealing with this.

somewierd_person · November 2014

I agree with pp and would fight for the naps a little longer. Double check with ped but I would say that your mama instincts are kicking in and this sounds a little pushy for your lo.

babybuns2 · November 2014

My DD is going to be 1 in about three weeks, and there is absolutely NO way she is anywhere near being ready to drop her second nap. I honestly don't see that happening for quite some time. Most of my mom friends who have 18 month- 2 year olds are still on two naps. Personally, I don't think there any good reason for a 10 month old to be taking only one nap per day. I would insist that your DD be able to get the sleep she needs.

blue_elle · November 2014

chicki1012 have you been in the room when they're napping? Just curious if 12 month olds really nap safely/well on cots. I could not see M sleeping on a cot in 4 weeks. I mean, the kid is all over the crib. He would roll off and/or crawl away from a cot.

Sakura16 · November 2014

My situation is a little different, as DD goes to an at home daycare, but there is no way I would approve of that. Her mood is so totally dependant upon us reading her tired queues and putting her down to nap (at least to give her a chance) twice a day. In the morning, she can't even go more than 3 hours without napping or she looses it. Hopefully, they can't force you to move her if you don't agree she's ready.

precious72381 · November 2014

Thanks ladies! Glad To hear I'm not overreacting to this and it is ridiculous. I'm going to talk to the girls in that room again and the owner if I need to. I know the owners, I taught her daughter some years ago. I'll get a doc note if I have to.

munchkinrhodie · November 2014

My LO is 10 months and just got moved over to the older infant room and I have to say the once a day nap at daycare really works well for us. He is a really active baby and was sleeping terrible on the younger side because the lights were always on and babies were always up. Since he moved though he has been sleeping 1.5- 2 hours. I pick him up at 4 so when he gets home around 4:30 he takes a nap till 5:30/6 and then stays up till 9ish. I know it's a little late but it's nice because my husband doesn't get home till 6 so this allows us to spend time as a family and allows the 2 of them to see each other for more then an hour or so.

SvedkaStoli · November 2014

As somebody whose kid just went to a toddler room, saying that they are not allowed to have naps is ridiculous. I can tell you that my daycare will try to keep them awake but J will absolutely be allowed to nap if he needs it. He will be sleeping on a cot in the same room with everybody else but I think what you are being told is a bit off. Talk to the daycare director!

chicki1012 · November 2014

blue_elle said:
chicki1012 have you been in the room when they're napping? Just curious if 12 month olds really nap safely/well on cots. I could not see M sleeping on a cot in 4 weeks. I mean, the kid is all over the crib. He would roll off and/or crawl away from a cot.

No I haven't, that's why I'm a little nervous about it. But I did ask what they look like and there only about a inch or so off the ground. so it's not really all that concerning. I just can't see DS actually taking a nap and wanting to crawl off etc. I'm guessing it might take time for him to adjust. One of the girls said u would be surprised they sleep better on cots, which is hard to believe. I guess we will see. But maybe this will be good for when we switch him to a toddler bed at home. Daycare can teach him how to sleep outside the crib. Kind of an advantage there.

amt0312 · November 2014

@chicki1012 I used to work at a daycare center and its actually incredible how easily 12 months old transitioned to sleeping on a cot. Sometimes they didn't sleep but they were all able to stay on the cot quietly and were very capable of following directions.

SvedkaStoli · November 2014

amt0312 J started sleeping on a cot a few days before he transitioned in his old room and he did really well. There honestly isn't much difference for a baby that really wants to sleep.

jezebel57 · November 2014

Depending on what state you are in they may not be allowed to limit naps at this age. I know in our state we cannot wake children even at age 4-5 if they have been sleeping too long. I would call the state and speak to their licensor.

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