3 Week Old - Cry It Out?

hidingangel82 · November 2014

I need advice. Since literally Day 1, in the hospital still, MH has been Team Cry It Out. He insists that the baby is fussy (ie screams if not held) because he's sleepy, and will only fall & stay asleep if he cries. That if I rush to him, we'll only reinforce bad habits later. But Noob is only 3 weeks + 1 today! At what point can a baby form habits, and til when do they just need to be comforted? I can't stand to listen to my baby scream from another room, and husband can only laugh at me for being so upset.

abbyful · November 2014

3 weeks is WAY too young for any type of sleep-training. 6 months maybe. I didn't let DS cry until about 9+ months, and only for a few minutes, not very long.

Carebella · November 2014

Definitely way too young for CIO from any of the parenting philosophies I believe. DH and I are thankfully on the same page and working to give LO his fourth trimester. I think expecting a baby that has no way to fulfill any of it's own needs is silly. Caring for a baby that is dealing with going from having all their needs automatically met inside mom to needing to figure out how to get their needs met outside mom is NOT silly.

Ineedmorecoffee · November 2014

It's actually damaging to let a baby that little cry it out. You've got a lot of good advice from previous posts. Hope you can knock some sense into your husband.

Snuffy007 · November 2014

I fully agree with pp. My ped said no CIO uuntil at LEAST 3 months. Crying is the only way they have to communicate--and they are so used to being with you 24/7 that of course they want to be held a lot! You are totally right in going to your baby. Keep following your instincts

hidingangel82 · November 2014

Thank you ladies so much! Noob and i are snuggled up in the nursery, and i will take over bedtime parenting until the ped appointment next week, when I'll have her knock some sense in MH.
I appreciate hearing that my instinct is correct, baby needs his mamma, and mamma needs to take care of him!

jac409 · November 2014

I can't say more than what others have already said, but please do not let your newborn cry it out. I recommend a book called "Bedtiming: The parents guide to getting your child to sleep at just the right age." This book was a lifesaver for me. It talks about baby development and how it affects sleep at all different ages. It also discusses different methods of sleep training and WHEN it is appropriate and effective to use them.

missnacholover · November 2014

My pediatrician said something that has really stuck with me. When babies are in the womb, they are used to getting everything they want - they are 100% taken care of. So we cannot expect them to self soothe right away.

We are working on a "bedtime routine" so she gets used to that. Sometimes she'll wimper for a few minutes as she's dozing off but we don't let her CIO yet. Probably won't until 4-6 months.

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