So sad to post here

laurenlalap · November 2014

Hi everyone

First of all, I'm so sorry we're all in this group. It's awful.

I had bad feelings about this pregnancy since the beginning and today my worst fears came true. I had a dating U/S at 5w5days and the tech said I was measuring 4 weeks. I had a beta draw at 6w exactly and it was only 4,000. I had another one two days later and my doctor called this morning to inform me it did not double and that I was miscarrying.

I experienced some light pink spotting yesterday which has turned into full on red period blood. Still no cramping though.

I feel lost and confused, especially since through this experience I'm learning that my doctor's office isn't the greatest, and my DH isn't being very supportive. He said he was sorry when he found out but when I continued to cry he said, "I can't handle this all day" and "yeah, it's sad, but life goes on." .... I can't even get an hour of grieving? I'm not sure where our marriage is right now, as I'm really devastated at his behaviour and reaction.

My doctor told me I could start trying again immediately, but from what I read that's not really advisable. He also said I do not need the RH negative shot even though I'm RH negative, where everything I have been reading says the opposite.

Needles to say I'm just feeling incredibly sad, lost and alone.

Thanks for letting me vent.

KingLED · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. As for your husbands reaction, try to keep in mind he may be stressed and grieving as well. When things are a little less hectic try to talk to him about it and let him know how much what he said hurt you and that you need to be able to grieve this loss. Good luck.

As for the Rhogam shot, you weren't far enough along to need it. Cutoff is usually 6-8+ weeks along.

KingLED · November 2014

Oh, and as for the waiting, you should be fine to try again like your doctor said. The waiting period is usually 1-3 cycles depending on circumstance. However, make sure you let yourself heal emotionally as well before you try again. It may not seem important right now, but it really is. You have to take care of yourself.

laurenlalap · November 2014

@KingLED - thanks so much. I appreciate it.

Nikolie93 · November 2014

I'm sorry for your loss *hug*

I'm with KingLED, everyone grieves differently so maybe that's how your husband is handling it. It's a crappy situation.:( Make sure you keep the lines of communication open with him so things don't build up.

As for the Rhogam shot, I had one during all my MC's and I had 2 that were pretty early on. Very possible it wasn't necessary like KingLED said though.

ashleyann62215 · November 2014

@laurenlalap‌ some men just grieve differently. My SO hasn't said anything about my mc besides, "it's hard on everyone." When I cry and reach out to him that's all he says. I need to talk about it, he doesn't. So maybe that's just his way of grieving and he probably doesn't want to see you that upset and may not know how to handle both of your emotions. So don't bottle it up and that is why we are here! I come here and everyone is so supportive and they really do understand because we have been through it! Hugs to you! I'm sorry for your loss!

4N6s · November 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.
You can try conceiving right away. There isn't any scientific evidence to back waiting.
I think husbands aren't as attached as we are. They didn't go through what we did. It's hard for them to relate.
You're not alone. We are all here for you!
I'd find a new doctors office.
I miscarried at almost 12 weeks. I didn't have strong cramps, they weren't as bad as my normal pregnancy cramps.
Good luck with everything, I'll be thinking of you!

Nikolie93 · November 2014

@4N6s‌ please be careful when telling others it's ok to start conceiving right away. There could be special circumstances and people should really listen to the advice of their Dr's.

Seems like her Dr said it's ok but that's not always the case

mylittlegemini · November 2014

@laurenlalap So sorry for your loss hun. Wish you were getting the support you wanted from your husband. But just give it time. He may just be angry right now and grieving differently. All the other ladies said it best. Hang in there. We are all here for you! xo

IslandDreamin · November 2014

Hi Lauren, I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about having 'bad feelings' about your pregnancy from the start. Although, I was thrilled to be pregnant, I had fears based on symptoms that things may not end well. Despite this, when the fears came true it still was incredibly painful. Please know that we are here if you need us.

schuebja · November 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with the advice you've been given. Hang in there!

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