Not comfortable to NIP so what do you do when out alone?

bf43005 · November 2014

I have had success pumping bottles and DH feeding DS when we are out. I don't feel comfortable to NIP so what do I do when out alone. So far DS is 7 weeks and for doctor appointments and such I nurse in the car but that isn't always an option. Anyone have tips or just get over and NIP? I'm also worried as DS gets older and we are out more often and in more public places.

DecafGrandeMocha · November 2014

Would you be comfortable trying with a blanket or nursing cover? I'm only comfortable NIP if I'm covered up (I know that's an UO). A friend gave me a tip yesterday as I struggled to nurse at Panera without exposing myself. She showed me to tie two corners of my A&A blanket together then loop it over my head so the "cover" stays on instead of just throwing the blanket over LO and my shoulder.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

To gain confidence, you could try NIP in a nursing room at babies r us or a nursing bra store. Hopefully, overtime, you will realize that no one is really watching or cares. I see other women with these huge nursing covers and I feel like they are actually drawing more attention to themselves by draping a burka over themselves than I am by pulling down my shirt.

Thewizardofrhythm · November 2014

I felt similar to you until recently when i began NIP. I realized I needed to bite the bullet when all my trips out of the house were governed by feedings. First, I tried nursing in places that were in my view "acceptable" like the pediatrician or moms group. Then I went out with some other women who nursed at a coffee shop and they encouraged me to join, so i did. I feel so much more free now that im doing it. And i realized it was me who was self conscious. No one else really seems to care.

mexicolombiana · November 2014

I learned to find places that had nice baby friendly rooms or secluded areas to feed my kids when I was more nervous about NIP.

So for example, as others mentioned, fitting rooms rock, I hate bathrooms but there are other rooms that people lend you if you just ask. For example I was at the museum once and there was a conference room that was unlocked and I just walked in and sat in the corner. Another time I was at a hotel and I just asked if they had a quiet empty room with a chair in it and they happily showed me several empty rooms.

That is for when you're really very nervous to NIP and you need a quiet room. Otherwise you asked for tips on how to get more comfortable NIP. And my tip is just to do it! I didn't use a nursing cover but I used these awesome shawls/wraps that I could wrap around my baby and it just looked like they were sleeping. I owned 4 of them and NEVER left home without one when my kids were babies.

All you do is turn around and face whichever way away from people (like in a restaurant I would just turn towards a wall) and wrap them in the shawl and you're good to go!

It really takes practice so just try it and you'll probably find nobody cares and nobody is looking!

blush64 · November 2014

There are many nursing covers that allow you to still look down and see your baby. One of mine covers me hands free.

I never used a cover hoping people wouldn't know what I was doing. I used it because it made me more comfortable and therefore better able to breastfeed. I don't find a cover draws more attention, at least not in my experience but if you do then there are plenty of ways to nurse without a cover and be discreet. Also, many places offer nursing rooms. My doctor's office didn't have a nursing room but did let me use an exam room.

I do find that when wearing a sweater or coat it is easy to just life my shirt and not show too much. My daughter has taught me not to care about who sees what so now I just lift my shirt and face where ever is comfortable for me.

bf43005 · November 2014

Thanks for some great tips. I know a lot of it is my anxiety with being 'topless' in public. What do you all wear for shirts? I only have two shirts that are designed for nursing so you are less exposed. But now with winter here a lot of my clothes are sweaters and sweatshirts. How do you avoid exposing your midriff?
I haven't given DS a bottle myself because I was worried this would cause issues with BFing. Like It would confuse him. Or he would then refuse to BF directly from me anymore because I gave him a bottle.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

bf43005 said:
Thanks for some great tips. I know a lot of it is my anxiety with being 'topless' in public. What do you all wear for shirts? I only have two shirts that are designed for nursing so you are less exposed. But now with winter here a lot of my clothes are sweaters and sweatshirts. How do you avoid exposing your midriff?
I haven't given DS a bottle myself because I was worried this would cause issues with BFing. Like It would confuse him. Or he would then refuse to BF directly from me anymore because I gave him a bottle.

I wear a nursing tank from target under a v-neck. I can pull down the tank and pull up the shirt, so very little skin is showing.

flcl · November 2014

Practice definitely helps... we never quite got how to NIP with a cover. Once I got really comfortable wearing LO in our carrier, I practiced nursing him while he was in it. Now when we're out and about, I can just wear him around and nurse him whenever he gets hungry without having to stop what we're doing. Unless someone comes right up to me to look at him when I'm nursing, people usually have no idea it's happening!

Melody330 · November 2014

You have gotten some great advice! I agree with the starting small approach : places that are less crowded to built confidence. It also helped me to have DH around while I did it just for moral support

I remember my first time NIP all by myself. I was at the mall and I was sweating so bad because I was so nervous. I just plopped myself down on a big comfy chair and went for it like it was NBD, and it wasn't! I laughed at myself after a while because no one even glanced at me. Most of the time, no one even looks at you let alone gives a crap what you are doing!

VMRRN23 · November 2014

As pp said, I use a bebe au lait cover. I'm a 36H, so I get regular bras altered into nursing bras. They just unclip at the strap, so my whole boob is out and it is just too cold to not use a cover.
With DS1, I nursed a lot in the car. But once DS2 came, I had to nurse in the car, library, park bench., etc. I still like a little modesty and since my huge boob is totally out, I use a cover. No one has ever said anything to me, except for a few curious preschoolers at the library. I just said I was feeding my baby and he gets too distracted if I don't cover him up (and since he's 6 weeks old it's a bonus to keep him away from germs).

kwitt22 · November 2014

Try NIP where there are alot of other Moms and babies. For example the play place at our mall almost always has someone nursing a baby. That's wear I first nursed DD2 in public. I too cover up for modesty and the fact that I have large breasts that DD's head doesn't totally cover. I am looking forward to when she's a bit bigger and I don't have to cover up (for my own modesty reasons). I've nursed a ton of places and never once had anyone look at me funny or say anything.

Also I noticed that nursing clothes or clothes where you can pull down the neck make me fill alot more secure about it.

73jewels · November 2014

I never felt too comfortable nursing in public, so as most of the previous posters said, I found places I'd feel comfortable. If out running errands, I would plan to be at a Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby around that time and nurse him there. A few times I nursed in the car, and while not ideal, I managed.

Nothing wrong with nursing in public, it just wasn't for me, and I found I could usually get around it by good planning. Actually I think the only real "public" nursing I did was at an airport and on a flight.

Good luck to you!

opheliainwaders · November 2014

Ditto PPs' suggestions - I wore a nursing tank with a shirt over it. Just pull the top shirt up, and then baby's head covers your actual breast. There is really nothing anyone can see! You can also just drape a scarf or swaddle blanket over you if that makes you feel more comfortable. We never really got the hang of nursing with a cover, so the layering plan worked best for us.

wieb67 · November 2014

I can usually layer as others suggested... but my biggest issue is a wiggly babe that unlatches every few minutes and whoops there's my boob spraying milk everywhere!

Aliki · November 2014

wieb67 said:

I can usually layer as others suggested... but my biggest issue is a wiggly babe that unlatches every few minutes and whoops there's my boob spraying milk everywhere!

Because I also dealt with OAL, I carry a washcloth with me. When wiggly babe unlatches, I cover my nipple with the washcloth to prevent spraying. It also helped with not flashing everybody in the process....

DecafGrandeMocha · November 2014

I thought of this thread yesterday. I was nursing LO in the Nordstrom mother's lounge without a cover (at restaurants and the park, I use a cover). A mom came in as I was finishing, and I noticed she used a cover. I didn't ask if it was for her comfort level or to keep baby undistracted.

On an unrelated note, I felt like a total scrub in there wearing my jeans, hoodie and running shoes when all the other moms were wearing leggings, cute sweaters and boots.

Have a good Saturday, everyone!

VitaLuna · November 2014

Regarding clothing: I don't like skin showing to begin with, so I always have on a nursing bra, then spaghetti strap cami (with the straps looser), then regular shirt. I lift my shirt, then pull my bra and spaghetti strap down. I don't use a cover, and you can't see a thing while she's nursing, even if you were staring right at me.

I was nervous about NIP, but just had to buckle down and do it a few times to get comfortable.

becominggold · November 2014

Ok...so my advice is quite different than others. ...but FWIW. I also don't feel very comfortable NIP so the truth is I don't or do rarely. My LO will also take a bottle from me...after he was used to it from DH. Now if I just want to do a few errands I can time them between feeds, but I can also grab a bottle and go on my own. I got a car adaptor for my Medela pump on Amazon so that I have the option of pumping in the car 8 necessary. LO mostly nurses in the football position which doesn't really work in public and I won't do it uncovered. I also do have and nursing cover and I have used it a few times!

bumpuser10605721 · November 2014

You will get more comfortable as time goes on, and when your baby is screaming hungry you will feed your baby no matter who is around!

but when i first started NIP I would find a quiet area to myself, get comfortable, grab a big blanket and just go for it. Plan your attire accordingly to make things easier on yourself. In restaurants ask to be seated in a booth, a lot of malls have nursing rooms or at the least space to find a quiet area. Just breath and go for it mama!

danieller6 · November 2014

I just wear regular spaghetti strap tanks under everything (and just a regular bra) and then depending on the top I either pull my boob out of the top or pull my shirt up. I also have a problem with a squirmy babe who gets distracted. I never take the paper off my nursing pads (lanisinoh) so I can take that out along with my boob and then quickly cover if she pulls off. Therefor saving my shirt and her outfit/face!

DecafGrandeMocha · November 2014

casey78 said:
I agree with PPs ... I felt so much freedom once I realized no one noticed or cared.

In the beginning, I nursed in car, lounge in big department stores, fitting room in Target, table facing wall in public space, etc. I got myself a bebe au lait nursing cover (allowed me to see LO) and started nursing in restaurants, etc ... once I got over my anxiety about it, I realized no one even knew what I was doing.

In terms of wardrobe: I pulled down top and popped out boob if neckline allowed (with nursing cover or A&A blanket over shoulder). OR, I layered nursing tops or camis so that I could keep belly covered while pulling up the other shirt. undercover mama sells a thing that attaches to a regular nursing bra, and I used that as well.

By 3m, I ditched the cover and nursed without. If we were flying or going to be out in public a lot, I might wear a scarf.

It's like this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgmbJso-2-o

This board and thread gave me the courage I thought I'd never have to NIP without a cover! Thank you!!! I started to nurse LO on a bench at the zoo yesterday with a cover. It was such a warm day though (sorry east coasters...this is my west coast first world problem of the week) that I removed the cover. I was wearing layers as suggested on here for my own modesty comfort level and yes, no one cared except MH LOL. He was so concerned a creeper would look at my boob, but everyone there was too concerned with their own kid or the lions

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