3 year old wanting opposite of everything
PurpleTink
member
Hi Ladies,
I have never posted on this board before, I am usually on the Feb 15 board, but I am in desperate need of advice! My son is 3 and for the last 3 weeks has been going through this AWFUL faze that he wants the opposite of everything. For example: I ask him what he wants for breakfast (giving him a choice between 2 things, therefore he thinks he is being a big boy) he says muffin. I get the muffin out and he freaks out because no he wants cereal, so I start to poor cereal and he freaks out because he doesn't want cereal. The same thing for going to daycare, eating supper, getting dressed, going for a bath etc. And they aren't just little fits, he full out bawls and starts kicking the furniture, doors, walls etc. I am 7 months pregnant and have had ENOUGH! I don't even know what to do anymore, I am beyond fed up. He does this for me, and only me. He doesn't do it for my husband or his daycare provider.
Re: 3 year old wanting opposite of everything
You're starting off great. The choices are good. But stick to them. He picks a muffin, he gets a muffin. I get the temper tantrums, TRUST ME I get the temper tantrums! And it's okay for him to be upset. It's obviously not okay for him to kick the furniture, throw things, whatever else he may do. So here's how I would play out this scenario:
You: Would you like a muffin or cereal?
Matthew: Muffin. (As you get muffin) NOOOOOOOOO CEREAL! I WANT CEREAL! I HATE MUFFINS!
You: You picked a muffin, so that's breakfast today. Tomorrow you can pick something else. (Matthew commences his best impression of the Tasmanian Devil). I understand you're upset. And you're allowed to be upset, but you're not allowed to (fill in the blank here - destroy furniture, kick the wall, etc.). Do you need me to sit with you and help you calm down? Or would you like to go to your room and do it yourself?
I cannot promise this will change the behavior overnight. But consistency is really key, and when he learns he doesn't get his wants met by the bad behavior, he'll have to find a more productive way to express himself.
3 is hard! ((hugs))
If I ask "do you want the dinosaur shirt or the Spider-Man shirt" and he goes back and forth I just say "you picked dinosaurs. We'll finish getting dressed when you calm down."
It is very annoying. I don't always give choices and sometimes I just ask enthusiastically about thing and he does better that way. DD always does better with choices. Hang in there!