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Newbie! SD for second child? ***losses mentioned

whyareallthegoodusernamestakenwhyareallthegoodusernamestaken member
in Secondary IF

Hi everyone, I took a look around the boards and figure this would be the best place to ask this question (or maybe 3rd party reproduction? Opinions?)

The history: We have a 5yo DD conceived on our first medicated cycle after 1 year of TTC. We've been TTC a 2nd for 4 years now with 2 c/p thrown in as well. We have severe MFI (has gotten progressively worse since DD) and treatments are not helping. We had an epic fail of an IVF/ICSI earlier this year, likely due to sperm issues, but possibly some egg quality issues as well (am now on Ubiquinol and Selenium to help with that hopefully).

The "problem": We're very hesitant to do another cycle without knowing what the issue might be. We're 100% OOP which doesn't help either (I know alot of you in here will understand that!). DH and I discussed donor sperm insemination back when we first got the diagnosis and we were both not comfortable with it. However, DH brought it up again the other day. He said that he would want me to do it if it would make me happy, but he expressed that he is still not OK with it. Even if he were "OK" with it, I'm not sure how *I* would feel about it? Obviously I know that I wouldn't care once the baby was here (if we were lucky) but I don't want DH to have resentment either.

The question: Has anyone else here considered/tried using a SD (or DEgg/DEmbryo) for their second (or more)? How did you come to this decision, and were you both on the same page at first? What questions did you ask to each other?

I know this can be a touchy subject, so if you're more comfortable with it, feel free to PM me instead :) Thanks!

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Re: Newbie! SD for second child? ***losses mentioned

  • fuzzbumblefuzzbumble member
    Hi there! I don't know anything about your questions, but welcome! Hope your stay here is short!

    image

    June 19, 2010 - Miracle Baby Girl

    Round 2
    Since March 2013
    BFP April 2013 - Missed M/C July 2013 @ 12w6d
    BFP December 2013 - CP @ 4w3d
    Eight medicated cycles, three IUIs: FAIL
    IVF #1 Antagonist - January 2015: CP/FAIL

    IVF #2 April 2015: Microdose lupron Flare
    ICSI, CCS Freeze all
    6 blasts biopsied/5 normal

    FET #1 June 25, 2015 6AA and 5AA blast transfer
    BFP 3dp5dt!
    Beta 8dp5dt 195.2, 10dp5dt 474.8, 12dp5dt 977, 22dp5dt 25,580
    <3 Twins! Our boy and girl coming end of February!  <3

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  • pdxvegpdxveg member
    Welcome!  I don't have any advice to give but I hope you can find a way to work through this process.  Have you tried asking this on the 3rd party reproduction board?  You might get more answers over there.  Good luck!
    Me: 34 DH: 36 
    DD#1 04/28/11

    TTC#2 since April 2012 - Unexplained Secondary IF (probably PCOS)
    Dec 13-March 14 Femara and TI - BFN
    April 2014 IUI#1 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFN
    June 2014 IUI#2 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFP 7/9/14 - No HB on 8/13/14 @ 8w4d
    Nov 2014 IUI#3 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFFN
    Jan 2015 IUI#4 (Femara + Ovidrel) - BFN
    Feb 2015 IUI#5 Converted to TI (7.5mg Femara) - BFP 3/17/15!!!
    Beta #1 82, Beta #2 202 Please let this be it.
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  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    I agree, I would check in with 3PR- 


    @jimbobcooter recently graduated from this board with DE IVF so maybe she can share her story with you. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



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  • Davie813Davie813 member
    Welcome!  I hope  you're able to find the answers you're looking for.
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



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  • whyareallthegoodusernamestakenwhyareallthegoodusernamestaken member

    Thank you so much everybody for the warm welcome!

    Thank you for sharing your story @JimBobCooter. You gave me alot of things to think about, and you're definitely right that we need to both be 100% on board with it. We're definitely not there *yet*, and still exploring our options, so I think starting with a counsellor is a great idea. We have a social worker at our clinic that deals specifically with third party reproduction (and other issues as well), so maybe we should make an appointment with her before meeting with the RE again?

    I'll XP this on the 3rd party board as well, thanks! I wasn't sure if it was appropriate, so I'll head there now too!

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