SIL birthday dinner...Am I crazy?

jlynn62511 · November 2014

So we were asked to a birthday dinner for DH's sister. It's one of those things we can't say no to. I just looked at the menu, the cheapest dinner is $30 and it is only the protein. You then add sides which costs more. It's going to cost us around $40 each plus a tip. That's going to be a $100 meal. Am I crazy, but I think that's a little much for a birthday dinner plus we get her a $40 gift? Especially with the holidays coming and we are trying to save to buy Xmas gifts. A $100 meal for them is not a big deal but for us that is a lot!!

Ampip2270 · November 2014

Nope that's nuts! Sounds like a hibachi style meal but they are so expensive. Send just your hubs that way your family is represented but you save a bit on the cash. Tell them you have a previous commitment, play date w/ a friend??

lynds002 · November 2014

I agree, just make up an excuse.

RachelB104 · November 2014

Excuse sounds good to me!

RedBean84 · November 2014

I think it depends on your family. Do you usually celebrate birthday's at pricey restaurants? My family usually celebrates birthdays at a nice restaurant, but we don't purchase gifts too, so its not too bad. I would not want to feel obligated to go to dinner and purchase a gift. You can easily play the baby card and get out of it.

jamjoyful · November 2014

The baby card always works! No one is going to question you if the baby isn't feeling well.

However, I would probably be honest and say we couldn't afford to go out there. If they wanted to go somewhere else a different day we would be happy to join in. Just because it is someone's birthday doesn't give them the right to leave others strapped for cash.

BabyM82714 · November 2014

This is exactly why having a child comes in handy! Baby has a cold? Right?

rainbowwillow · November 2014

Agreeing to use LO as an excuse. LO is sick, colicky, teething...

Robinischo · November 2014

Yeah, I wouldn't go. If I did go, I wouldn't give her a gift. If you already bought the gift, just give that to her and say, "I'm sorry but we can't afford that much for dinner right now" or something similar. Or blame the baby - whatever you're comfortable with. I think both are acceptable reasons to decline.

kat5040 · November 2014

I wouldn't go either. Depending on your relationship with SIL you could make an excuse or honestly let her know that you can't afford that right now. Maybe then she'll pick a less pricey option next time?

belle785 · November 2014

Send your DH and you stay home. Don't make an excuse, just say you are trying to save.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

jlynn62511 · November 2014

Thanks for the advice. We ended up telling them it was out of our price range and they changed restaurants. We arranged for my
Mom to watch LO that night because I do not like LO missing her bedtime.

I felt a little embarrassed, they make 3 times the amount of money DH and I do. They often make comments that I shouldn't be cleaning that we really need to hire someone for that or question why we haven't gone on a vacation for so long. Or why we bought a Kia instead of an Infinity.

DH and I are happy with our lifestyle and enjoy staying home and spending time with LO. I want to clean my own home and don't need fancy vacations to be happy.

I wish going to dinner would be enough but his family is weird about gifts. Thanks for the support!

kat5040 · November 2014

Glad to hear that things worked out. I think it's super rude that they comment on your lifestyle like that though.

jamjoyful · November 2014

I'm sorry they make those rude comments. That is completely inappropriate and really, who are they to judge?

I'm glad they switched restaurants for you. Don't let them make you feel bad or embarrassed. We all have different lifestyles and who is to say one is better than another!

Want a personalized experience?

SIL birthday dinner...Am I crazy?

Re: SIL birthday dinner...Am I crazy?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards