fear of leaving the house.

akatiegrl · November 2014

so i'm just wondering if anyone can relate to this, or if i'm just a little overboard anxious.

my little girl is almost 2 weeks old. we're doing alright. just the normal lack of sleep, crazy hormones, and trying to figure out breastfeeding. but the thought of leaving the house with her gives me so much anxiety. i mean instant tears. i just worry about having to feed her when i'm not home, or her crying in the car, or i don't know what! so much anxiety though.

anyone else relate?

smboswell1 · November 2014

I had fear, but I had to get over it fast! Beckham has gone to the hospital and Peds office over 7 times now at 2 weeks. I quickly got use to driving him by myself and figuring out his feedings. He enjoys the car and if he gets fussy after doctor, I sit in the car and feed him before I leave to my next destination. We went to target one day and I brought the stroller in. I put the canopy over his car seat and he slept the whole time! I would recommend feeding her before you leave to go anywhere!

dr_pr · November 2014

I was really scared leaving the house with my first one, and ended up getting stir crazy and probably a little depressed. I'm way more chill this time around, since I've been there/done that. I agree with PPs about feeding before you go and if out for awhile in the car between errands. It's really intimidating, but remember that you need to take care of your mental health too!

I also suggest making your first trip short and working up from there. Ours was on Monday to the grocery store to buy milk, and yesterday to Starbucks to pick up some hot chocolate. You can then work up to sitting and drinking your beverage in Starbucks or going to lunch. Baby steps

uncharted01 · November 2014

I can totally relate. The prospect of going to the pediatrician yesterday sent me into a full blown melt down on Tuesday night. I just kept asking my husband over and over again "how do people do this?!" It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but I'm still anxious about doing it again. I'm EPing so it makes me nervous to not have somewhere to pump while we're out and about and then not being able to feed my son. I'm sure the anxiety will ease as time goes on... or at least I hope so.

lizgrace03 · November 2014

Just do it! You can always turn around and go home but honestly, we leave the house every day and it's done wonders for my mental health. So far we've visited Target, Buy Buy Baby, Lowe's, Bruegger's, a Mexican restaurant, the bookstore, even campus ... It does help that I've been EPing so I bring the bottle. Diaper changes are probably the most annoying but it's so worth it to get out! Good luck!

ETA, Alistair is fussier when we stay home all day. He seems to actually prefer being out and about!

Jpinky9 · November 2014

I can understand! We got home a week ago today. Last Friday we had to go to the dr to get Alan weighed to make sure he was still gaining. DH was with us so it wasn't so bad. Like pp's have said, I fed him just before we left. He did get fussy in the waiting room so I did nurse him again while we waited. We were the only ones in the waiting room at the time but I still would have done it.

We also took him out on Tuesday just to run to the drug store and grocery store and it was nice to get out. However, tomorrow I have to take the baby back to the dr for another weight check in and have to go by myself since DH is back to work and I am a bit nervous. But you will do great, just do small outings at a time!

sweetbabyrahe · November 2014

We are just starting to make outings over the last week and LO will be 3 weeks tomorrow. I agree to plan ahead and go right after a feeding finishes, start small with a quick errand and work up from there. I tend to baby wear when I go out because then I only carry a diaper bag and don't have to worry about a stroller. As a STM, newborns and young infants are in some way easier to take out because they often just sleep.

AnnieRoo13 · November 2014

I was just having this conversation with @flutterbuggie‌!

I'm scared about taking Will out on my own too. So far the only trips I've taken have been with DH and it's been to the doctor's office, to MIL's and to BIL and SIL's.

I'm nervous about what to do if I'm out shopping and I have a cart full of things and he needs to be changed. Or if he starts fussing and needs to be fed. I want to be able to NIP, but I'm not quite there yet. It doesn't help that we have had really cold and snowy weather and we can't even get out for a walk.

The plan is for MIL and I to go to Target together on Sunday morning when it's quiet. Then I'll have some backup and hopefully build up the confidence to go out on my own.

silverwings72 · November 2014

My LO is 4 days old today and we had to take him to the lactation consultants over the past two days. I was freaked out! Thank goodness DH was with me helping me. I have not found a comfy position to BF in at home so I don't even know what I would do if I had to feed him while out- the LC had me feed him in the clinic both times. I completely understand your anxiety. I keep telling myself that we will figure it out! We can do this!

Curlyfries851 · November 2014

LO is a week today and we still have not left the house. To be fair, episiotomy business had made it hard to even move around the house, but I'm genuinely scared. Like @AnnieRoo13‌ I am still gaining my wits and thinking about feeding a and changed on the go freaks me out ( not to mention we also got shit tons if snow here in Barrie too) And what if LO has a freak out when I'm driving? Gah!
My mom is coming to stay for a few days so maybe I can get her to ease me into a first trip together...

NunyaBennis · November 2014

Sounds like I'm the odd ball out (nothing new...) because we've only been to the pediatrician's office. The last visit was after my husband had gone back to work and would've been my first time driving since her birth, but he surprised me and pulled in when we were getting ready to leave & drove.
I've been tempted to make a short trip (first stop, chiropractor!) but... nope! Not yet. The baby is doing really well, and I'm getting around much better, but I'm so paranoid she'll get sick. I know it's unlikely if she stays in her carrier or I wear her, and it's inevitable anyways, but she's so tiny! The farthest we've been outside is to the porch.
Am I taking "home body" to a new level or what?

JFH2010 · November 2014

This was a huge obstacle for me with my first. All good advice above, but I would also say, don't put too much pressure on yourself! I think my anxiety was worse than it needed to be because I felt like I SHOULD be getting out. But you know what, it does take time to feel comfortable enough with nursing that you can do it in public, and it does take time to get the hang of diaper changes, and it does take time to reach a point where your baby screaming in the back seat won't throw you into hormonal despair. There's nothing wrong with practicing those skills at home for awhile first. In some cultures it's tradition for the mother & baby to stay home for 40 days! And there's a reason for that.

That said, getting out can also do you a world of good. I definitely second the suggestion to wear her. She'll probably fuss less, it will reduce your anxiety, and it will leave your hands free when needed. If you can do some walking-distance errands before tackling the car, that might help. Just strap baby on, grab diaper bag and go. And if she needs to eat while you're out, keep in mind that she's not going to starve if you take 10 minutes to find a spot you feel comfortable with, even though she might sound like it! Take deep breaths and plot your course.

It will get easier. And with the second it won't even be a consideration! But it can be a big hurdle, and that's normal and fine and you should just take it at your own pace

hiketheworld · November 2014

I'm the real odd duck in that i dint have a baby but I'm scared to leave the house because I don't have a car and constantly feel like I've peed myself/ water broke or it will break in public. At 41+3ish that isn't too crazy!

Curlyfries851 · November 2014

Took my first trip out today...had major anxiety but I survived. Just went to a crumby little discount chain store and Tim hortons but I'm looking at it as baby steps. Here us jack looking super unimpressed at getting dressed up to go out

akatiegrl · November 2014

so i've started going out a little. it still gives me anxiety and i try to time it that i don't have to feed while i'm out. (still haven't tackled that one.) but i've been the the dr, run errands in the car, went to a bible study, and visited my sister-in-law.

today we are going on a family walk (about a mile) to starbucks. hopefully it goes well!

highbornhunter · November 2014

@ Curlyfries851 - OMG I love his hat!

I have also been too scared to take the baby out by myself. DH has gone to our first two pediatrician appts with me. I was sooo glad he was at the first because Will was yelling and cold and hungry and unhappy at being undressed in the Drs office for what seemed like a freaking eternity. Second trip went much better. We've also visited my in-laws. DH has stayed with Will a few times while I've gone out for a short walk or to the pharmacy or grocery store. On Monday I may get brave and take him with me to the supermarket for a meeting of the New Moms group our hospital sponsors.

AnnieRoo13 · November 2014

Big day out today! DH and I took Will out for about 2 hours. We went to the grocery store and Staples, I know, exciting right? It went great! Will was an angel and didn't make a peep the whole time. He slept right through the whole thing.

Tomorrow we're going to a lunch for my brother and SIL as they just got married and Target.

These little trips are definitely giving me the confidence to go out on my own with him. You can do it ladies!

Snuffy007 · November 2014

I

bethas said:
I need sleep. I just read @AnnieRoo13‌ 's post to say that brother and SIL got married AT Target. I had all kinds of questions after that. Zombie brain.

Me too! Glad I'm not the only one

A plus side to finally braving the outside world with LO: people just fall all over themselves with how cute the baby is, and it makes you feel wonderful!

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