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New baby with older step siblings

stephrob88stephrob88 member
in Blended Families

Does anyone else have older step children and is now pg with baby? I am kinda nervous about how my 12 and 13 yo step kids will react when baby is born. So far the 13 yo seems excited she wants to help but 12 yo is pretty quiet about the whole deal. Kids at school have already told my 12yo step son that his dad won't love him anymore after baby is born. Both kids live with their mom full time and come to our house on weekends. I'm not sure how much of the first time baby stuff/excitement I should have because I don't want them to feel left out or forgotten about. - any tips or advise is welcome.
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Re: New baby with older step siblings

  • nedralynnnedralynn member
    I have 3 stepkids 7, 5, and 3 year olds plus I have my 2 year old son. I'm due in 6 weeks. I've tried to include them in as much stuff as possible with the baby showing them when I get new things, they have also been making pictures for her and are extremely excited. They also just had a baby brother from their mother. I'm planning on bringing the two girls with me to my baby shower to help with gifts and such. They have really embraced having two new baby siblings so close together.
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  • ckrose36ckrose36 member
    we haven't told my kids 6 and 9...and step son 11.... that we are pregnant now. I am worried that they will feel like they are not important anymore...
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  • WVmamaKWVmamaK member
    My son is 4 months old and my step daughter (13) is having some "feeling left out" issues

    I think this has a lot to do with the fact that she is one of 5 at her mothers, and previously her fathers only child.

    I wish I knew how to cure these feelings, she has been a huge part of the whole pregnacy/birth process
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  • nedralynnnedralynn member
    @WVmamaK I'm worried about the feeling left out with my BFs 5 and 3 year olds we have them on the weekends and she has 4kids total sometimes 7 in her house though when her BFs kids are over and I know that these two especially are getting left out the oldest is a spoiled princess and her youngest is her focus right now since he was born early and is still on monitors and such so I try to give them tons of attention when they are with us iI'm just nervous about once my baby gets here how they will feel.
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  • stephrob88stephrob88 member
    I'm also a little worried about later on when we have baby's first things, Christmas, Halloween etc. I'm looking forward to new traditions that I had when I was a kid but my step kids mom doesn't do. I'm hoping and praying I don't get the "dad never did that with us" stuff.
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  • jess9802jess9802 member
    My stepson was 13 when my son was born. It's been fine. His mom had had a baby two years earlier, so he was familiar with babies, but he seemed excited and proud of his younger brother. They play together every once in a while, but mostly SS has his own life - school, sports, friends, etc. We don't ask him to babysit, and when he has special events/games, we try to find someone to occupy DS so we can focus on SS.

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  • stephrob88stephrob88 member
    Thanks everyone.
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  • WahooWahoo member
    stephrob88 said:
    I'm also a little worried about later on when we have baby's first things, Christmas, Halloween etc. I'm looking forward to new traditions that I had when I was a kid but my step kids mom doesn't do. I'm hoping and praying I don't get the "dad never did that with us" stuff.
    Why not start with the traditions now?  Before the baby is born (or right after)?  There is no rule saying you can't start baking cookies, making a gingerbread house, caroling, or going to see light shows with the 12-and-13 year olds.  The baby is too young for many of these things, so the kids will not associate your interest in the traditions with the baby.  Obviously, they might be too old to sit on Santa's lap (maybe not, my tween and her friends are planning on getting their photo with Santa this year, but more for the opportunity to gtg at the mall).
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  • tinybugsmomtinybugsmom member
    I am pregnant with my first. SS is 13 and SD is 7. SS is super excited and he has been reading all these health books LOL... he has a very fact based mind. And so I enjoy talking with him about things he reads.

    SD is excited but I am worried it will be a normal 7/8 yo transition.... she has been the baby for a long time and the center of attention. We have been working on that for about a year.....she gets very upset when she isn't center stage. So forsee that causing issues.
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  • YenisbabytwoYenisbabytwo member
    Not to sound cold but that's not your issue to fix. If they feel jelouse, which all step kids do, %99.9 percent, its not your fault and they have to get over it by themselves or bm or fathers help. Just remember to keep your babies safe and away from harm. Remember kids get influenced by other kids so be it good or bad. Don't ever leave baby alone. That's if you want to and trust them of course. Kids can be very mean.
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  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    My SDs are 12 and 13 and my DS just turned 2. They adore him and he adores them. He wakes up every morning asking for them. They argue with each other about whose lap he is going to sit on.

    SD1 acted out a LOT the summer before he was born. She downright drove me crazy but everything turned out fine. We make sure no one is left out because yes that is partly my responsibility. I don't know how BM would be responsible for making them feel included with a kid that doesn't even live in her house. Lol ooooookay...
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  • FinallyHappy84FinallyHappy84 member
    @Yenisbabytwo‌ are you just going through all the threads to assume the worst and be negative about being a blended family? It's a different lifestyle, not a death sentence.

    "All" step children do not feel jealous however everyone at some point in their life will feel jealous.
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    Yenisbabytwo said:
    Not to sound cold but that's not your issue to fix. If they feel jelouse, which all step kids do, %99.9 percent, its not your fault and they have to get over it by themselves or bm or fathers help. Just remember to keep your babies safe and away from harm. Remember kids get influenced by other kids so be it good or bad. Don't ever leave baby alone. That's if you want to and trust them of course. Kids can be very mean.

    What?  Way overreaction batman. 
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