Nursing on demand + teething

Crinita · August 2014

We have always co slept and nursed on demand. When DD's bottom teeth came in we didn't really have any problems. Now her top two teeth are coming in (she's 10 mos) and we are in hell. She's always nursed to sleep but she is biting so bad despite me trying all the usual advice that we are really having problems. I feel so guilty because of all the mainstream advice about sleep training and weaning... The thing that gets me the most is repeatedly hearing and reading that babies shouldn't be nursed to sleep and that they should be able to soothe themselves. The fact that we are having such a rough time now is really making me doubt myself. I am also worried that my supply is going to be irreversibly damaged... I only have a manual pump and she really won't take bottles anyways so that's not really an option.

Any advice or encouragement is greatly needed.

Emerald27 · August 2014

Sounds like you guys are having a really rough time. Can you explain a bit more about what's going on? I'm trying to figure out your biggest concerns so that I can give you the best info and recommendations.

Is she not sleeping well and/or nursing more often?
Is she fussy during the night because of teething?
Is she biting, and is it during feedings or near the end of feedings?
What makes you worry for your supply? - is she not nursing as much as usual because of teething?

First, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with nursing to sleep. All babies who are nursed to sleep grow out of it on their own just like meeting any other developmental milestone. It really is biologically normal to fall asleep at the breast: the milk and comfort and love are the natural way for baby to fall asleep.

Self soothing, too, is not a real thing. Babies don't really soothe themselves, but rather they just stop trying to communicate their needs to their caregivers as they become used to being ignored. Then once they know they won't be answered, they "soothe" quickly upon waking because what's the point of crying for mom if you know she won't come? "Self soothing" is a myth that puts pressure and guilt on parents to ignore their instincts in favor of teaching baby "good habits."

As baby grows into a better communicator, she will naturally calm herself when she has a need that she knows she can either fulfill herself (crawl/walk across the room for that toy), and because you've always met her needs promptly and with love, she will be able to patiently await your response to lesser needs when necessary: you are creating a solid foundation of trust between you and LO!

More on self-soothing:
https://uncommonjohn.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/self-soothing-possibly-the-biggest-lie-ever-foisted-on-parents/comment-page-1/

Let us know a bit more about the biting-sleep-supply concerns and maybe we can offer some more recommendations!

Crinita · August 2014

@Emerald27‌ yes, she is biting at the very beginning and during feedings. We don't usually make it to the end... I know she's hungry because she is rooting and even pulling my shirt and bra down trying to get to the tatas. We haven't been feeding as much because of the biting. I have tried the advice of taking her off the boob and setting her down, which ended in lots of tears for us both and she didn't get the message. I have also tried exaggerated reaction which ended with her looking scared, crying, and still biting. At this point I have been putting my finger in her mouth when she bites, which kind of has us limping along... But we are really hindered at nap time and bedtime. Honestly at this point I have become scared of feedings and she is frustrated and I am sure her gums are sore from just the teething too. My mom weaned me at this age and she's telling me to wean her, which doesn't help my morale either.

Emerald27 · August 2014

Does she bite at every feeding or just during nap and nighttime feedings?

Preempting biting (she has to push your nipple toward the front of her mouth in order to bite) by placing a finger in her mouth can help. Stopping feedings, telling her "we don't bite mommy, or we can't nurse," and then resuming the feeding after several seconds, can help too. You don't need to end the feeding altogether, especially if she is still hungry. Stopping the feeding even briefly can be enough to show baby that she can not use you as a teether.

Encouraging her to open very wide before latching on, and pulling her in very close to the breast for a deep latch, can help prevent her biting at the start. Sometimes babies will clamp down on the nipple if they don't get a deep enough latch.

And when she does bite, don't pull her off the breast. That will make it even more painful and could cause nipple damage. Instead, pull her in as close to the breast as you can. She'll have to open her mouth to breathe because her nose will be covered. Then you can lift her away from the breast and tell her that biting hurts and she may not bite you.

Have you seen this info regarding biting:
https://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/biting/

And teething:
https://kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/teething/

Hopefully her teeth will poke through very soon so that she feels better and stops trying to use you as a teether! Have you had any luck letting her use teething toys or cold solid foods to chew on?

Emerald27 · August 2014

It might be helpful to contact a local LLL Leader for help and encouragement. Leaders will meet with you in person and can give you some specific suggestions for your unique situation. They can also be an enormous source of support and encouragement, especially if you're not getting good encouragement at home.

Crinita · August 2014

She's biting at every feeding. I have tried the pushing her into the boob too and she seems to clamp down harder. In the end I just have to put my finger in her mouth to get her to let go. Her favorite tether is a wet washcloth that has been put in the freezer. I had seen the Kelly mom articles... I just feel so bummed and hope that her teeth pop through soon and that she learns to stop biting. I will try to work on getting her to take more in with the latch to see if that will help.

She seems okay if I briefly stop the feeding but if I physically move her away from the boob even for a short time she losses her mind.... As in extreme crying and hyperventilating... Not normal crying. That's why I have been using my finger in her mouth. Yesterday's afternoon nap time and bedtime were major meltdowns. I was wondering of maybe she is biting because I am having low supply/poor letdown... I am so tense and anxious over this situation that I think it might be making that part of things worse.

Emerald27 · August 2014

How is her diaper output? Is she producing a normal amount of wet and dirty diapers? This should let you know if she is getting enough milk, i.e. If your supply is adequate.

When you're ending feedings prematurely because of biting, have you been compensating by offering to nurse more often? Even if she is getting some solids, in the first year those are really more for play and practice than for nutrition. Breastmilk really should be her primary source of nutrition.

Are your nipples damaged from her biting, and is it possible that she isn't biting at the start of feedings but that your nipples are sore and painful because of the trauma? You can help them heal faster by using lanolin or even breastmilk on your nipples and leaving them open to the air, choosing shirts that are soft and non-abrasive, etc.

Emerald27 · August 2014

You could also add in a pumping session in the morning to help boost your supply, and eat oatmeal for breakfast.

BUT the best way to ensure an adequate supply and to increase supply is to nurse more. Snuggle skin to skin in bed and offer the breast frequently, watching closely for any sign that she might bite, and gently but quickly inserting a finger into the corner of her mouth to break the latch before she is able to bite down. A couple days of closeness and lots of nursing can help give you a supply boost.

blu-eyedwife · August 2014

@Emerald27 has this covered, I just wanted to jump in and say that my son started teething at 10 months, and things got more difficult for us. He wasn't a biter, but he nursed far more frequently - partly as a way to deal with the teething pain. I'm not there, so I can't assess the situation in the way you can, but my guess would be that she's desperate to nurse, not because of any low supply on your part, but because it makes her feel better. And that desperation probably leads to the "bad manners" because when you're in pain, you'd do anything to feel better.

Hang in there - it does get easier. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to wean if you're not ready. There's plenty of time for her to learn soothing techniques when she's not in so much teething pain. Right now you're doing a great job helping her feel better.

Crinita · August 2014

Thank you guys for the advice and support. I am going to try to follow the suggestions and persevere... Hopefully those teeth will pop through the gums soon and she will learn not to bite.