Okay. I wanna start with I saw the doctor today, (20 weeks 4 days woo) and all is well. Found hb with doppler (first time the doppler has worked) and baby was moving a lot so that is all wonderful. I go back in one month and have to do the glucose test at that time.
Warning *spoiler* for last and this weeks grays anatomy if you have not seen it.
Warning *Losses and sad and scary things mentioned*
Still here? okay..
What I wanna talk about here is... triggers. Things that have been making me cry uncontrollably and be so sad about my previous loss and worry for this baby. 1. Grays Anatomy. The TV show. Anyone else watch it? First last week a woman died on the table with an emergency c-section. This week they learned one of the characters who is pregnant has problems with their baby and their baby could never survive more than a few weeks. I know these people are not real but It scared me and has made me so very upset.
2. News. EVERYONE on facebook is posting this story about a man singing to his newborn baby boy after the mother died during the birth for some reason, then the baby dies later. I mean EVERYONE I KNOW has posted this and it just makes me so so sad and scared of dying during labor. I know I know... that doesn't happen that often but I'm just kinda freaked out. Then a news story about a woman living in Colorado (i live in Colorado) dying of some rare disease during labor. .... what the heck y'all I do not need to be hearing this crud and I don't even watch the news this is all coming on in my FB feed. ugggghhhh.
Add to it I'm kinda freaked out that my blood pressure has been super high the past 2 times I went to the OB but was totally normal at the regular doc last week. (I went in thinking I had a sinus infection.) Like twice at the OB my top number has been around 140 (bottom number 80) Which is definitely NOT normal for me. I'm usually around 118 or 120. She said theres nothing to worry about but... well yeah I didn't listen. I'm worried about that. which IS NOT GOOD FOR THE BLOOD PRESSURE! lol I took my BP at home (I have my own cuff) and it was 124/80... (several hours later.) So maybe the doc BP machine is messed up or something. Every time I take it anywhere else it is normal.
Just... I guess I just wanted to go somewhere to vent these frustrations/sadness/anxieties where others might understand. ... After typing this up I actually feel a lot better. (maybe hormones are getting to me some too?) I dunno. TV and FB stop being sad now, k?
-Megan
Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011
Me:30 Hubby:31
TTC since May 2012
HSG Dec 2012 Fill no spill on left side, right side normal (most physically painful experience of my life..)
Metformin Started May 2013
PG#1: BFP 10-21-13. EDD 6-17-14 mmc 12-9-13 m/c occurred with cytotec on 12-11-13
PG#2: BFP 07-25-14. EDD 4-5-15 *Hoping this is my rainbow*
Diagnosed with PCOS, Hypothyroid,IBD/UC, (UC in remission as of July 2014)
*I will always love you Fetey the first.*
ALL WELCOME!
Re: Triggers: Grays anatomy, news stories making me sad/anxious
I watched Grey's last night and an annoyed about that storyline. Its like can't anyone have a healthy pregnancy on that show. I have seen the link about the dad, but couldn't bring myself to watch the video. So I guess my coping strategy is avoidance when I know it's coming. I like pp idea of seeking out positive stories to counterbalance. I've heard of some people who stake out the bmb of the current month and get warm fuzzier from the announcements.
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
PS -- I absolutely refuse to watch that video of the father singing to his dying baby. Nopenopenopenopenopenope, can't handle it...
I've seen the FB stories, but I haven't read or watched them. I'm another one for avoidance. I know what I can handle and what I can't, and I can't handle stories like that. When I've read them in the past I get consumed thinking about them and imagining what it must have been like, ect. There were a couple stories that took me a long time to get over, so I don't even go near them now.
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.
I just want to say that on Grey's anatomy they put their stethoscopes on backwards, don't wear gloves properly and say a lot of ridiculous shit that doctors would never, ever say.
Don't let them upset you. STETHOSCOPES. BACKWARDS!!
Hugs!!
BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
*everyone always welcome*
I'm not sure how active you are on your bmb, but as peeps started having term/close to term babies regularly, my anxiety about something going wrong became worse. Being AL always had that voice telling me this wasn't really going to happen. It's a real sneaky, vicious bitch.
BFP#4 3/17/14 - rainbow Baby BOY arrived 11/10/14 !!
DX: Uterine Septum - Resection 9/5/13 || MTHFR Hetero A1298C || My Chart