MoM's-What are the things you wish you had known during your pregnancy, birth, and after birth etc.?

breezyweezer · November 2014

Pretty self-explanatory. I have read some older threads that are similar to this but just wanted to start a new one. Share anything that you know now that you wish you had known then!

CaliCarly77 · November 2014

I wish I had known everything would turn out JUST FINE so I wouldn't have spent the whole pregnancy worried.

I wish I had gotten the Rock n Plays sooner - why did I think we didn't need those?

I wish I had gotten a maternity swim suit sooner than I did

I wish I had gotten maternity jeggings sooner than I did lol

I wish I had not bought a Tucker Sling EVER and someone had told me baby b's spit up was JUST FINE sooner.

I wish I had brought nice preemie zip up gerber sleep outfits to the hospital instead of onesies and pants - what was I thinking? We were team green and our girls came home in the ugliest clothing.

That said - I wish I had NO onesies in anything under 3 months, and had gotten more zip up sleep and plays.

I wish I had been less scared of everything when we first got home - I know now to relax with them!!

I could go on lol

pillowass · November 2014

I am so grateful for the experience I had with DS 1 - I feel like I came into the game armed with all of this perspective.

Before my first, I was deep into the natural parenting mindset - natural birth, exclusive breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc. Not many of those things worked out in practice, so I learned that the baby has a say in all of these things and there is so much that is just not in our control. I wasn't able to breastfeed my first, which was so devastating at the time (not so much in hindsight) but I was prepared for that with the twins, knowing the limits of what I would try, and totally comfortable with introducing formula instead of spending the first month of their lives in a lactation clinic. Similarly comfortable with sleep training (something I never thought I would do!), epidural, various swings and contraptions that would give us a break.

Everything is temporary. Just because you aren't sleeping now doesn't mean that everything won't change in a few days.

Get a prescription for Physical Therapy at your postpartum check-up and figure out a way to go. Chances are your abdominal muscles will be separated - fixing that takes work but the difference in how your body looks and feels after they go back together is amazing.

Don't underestimate how much you will need help in those early months. I used to joke that my only requirement for letting someone in my house was that they have arms. If a naked drug addict had knocked on our door in those first few months, I would have invited him in and handed him a baby! (Thankfully it never came to that!)

Good luck to you! Remember first few months are just survival. The rewards for all your hard work start pouring in between 6 months - 1 year. When that happens, you feel like you are on top of the world.

4legsRbest · November 2014

Get experienced help before they arrive and hang onto that person for 3 months!! Don't wait until they are born, it's too hectic!

breezyweezer · November 2014

4legsRbest said:

Get experienced help before they arrive and hang onto that person for 3 months!! Don't wait until they are born, it's too hectic!

What kind of experienced help? Like from a family member?

BabyCarryingVessel · November 2014

I also wish I wouldn't have worried so much during the pregnancy, but that just seems to come with the territory.

Get some comfy XXXL shirts... you're gonna need 'em.

Agree with PPs about listening to your body. It's freaking hard towards the end and you just can't do things.

I also wish I would have gotten the RNPs sooner.

Have help lined up for the first three months. Maybe this means grandma moves in for three months or you pay someone to come in.

I wish I would have been assertive with my helpers. I didn't need baby holders. I needed someone to help cook, or even refill my water while I fed them. Be prepared to give specific orders, like load the dishwasher or fix lunch.

Brummy14 · November 2014

I wish I had trusted my gut (and recos of other twin moms) and seen an MFM in tandem with my OB, even though all the docs told me that was unnecessary.

It's okay to let your LO cry while tending to the other. You will NOT scar them for life.

Earplugs are great during the waking hours -- especially at night when you need something to take the edge off the shrieks. Those saved my sanity more times than I can count.

Accept any and all forms of help. If someone asks you to "let them know how they can help," assign them something.

breezyweezer · November 2014

Grandma is disabled and we will be living on a budget of $1100/month there is no way we can hire help

I CAN do this by myself, right???

KatieGummow · November 2014

You can, @breezyweezer!

I am a SAHM and it is VERY hard, but to ally manageable. Just keep trying new things until it works for you. Trust your gut!! Also, there are programs for multiples. I googled it and found this link:

https://lifewithtwins15.blogspot.com/2012/08/baby-freebies.html

Use craigslist to get items for cheap. I highly recommend a stroller splurge if you are staying at home. We go twice a day and it is SO nice getting out of the house. The boys also take naps in it, so that is a helpful tool to have. You have it tough, but YOU CAN DO IT!

KatieGummow · November 2014

I wish I wouldn't have been induced at 38 weeks. I really wish I would have waited until the boys were ready.

I wish I would have registered/bought/splurged on a nicer stroller from the beginning.

I wish I would have sat my husband down and talked about what I expected AND then sat down again every month after that to revisit this topic.

breezyweezer · November 2014

KatieGummow said:

You can, @breezyweezer!

I am a SAHM and it is VERY hard, but to ally manageable. Just keep trying new things until it works for you. Trust your gut!! Also, there are programs for multiples. I googled it and found this link:

https://lifewithtwins15.blogspot.com/2012/08/baby-freebies.html

Use craigslist to get items for cheap. I highly recommend a stroller splurge if you are staying at home. We go twice a day and it is SO nice getting out of the house. The boys also take naps in it, so that is a helpful tool to have. You have it tough, but YOU CAN DO IT!

Thanks for the encouragement and the link! I have already started doing everything I can to be prepared; I buy everything used from yard sales, I am taking mommy classes so that I can get a free carseat, I ask everyone I know with babies or about to have babies to save their used stuff for me, and I plan to (hopefully) breastfeed so at least the babies' food is taken care of. It's just really daunting when I think about how tight things are already with no kids. But I know we will make it.

TREDgirl · November 2014

I wish I hadn't put so much pressure on myself to breast feed. It didn't work out. I hated it and the babies didn't latch. It's OK to do formula. And OMG we got so many free cans from our dr's office. Ask every time you go in. They usually are very generous with twin families.

No matter how crazy the day gets, take a shower every day. The babies will be fine in their cribs for 10 minutes.

sasky · November 2014

That even if you gain the same amount of weight and pretty much look the same as with your first singleton, you will still feel like you've been hit by a truck toward the end. There are 2 babies taking up all kinds of space in there, putting pressure on your entire body, and it is no joke.

I wish I hadn't been so hesitant to ask for help and been specific about what I needed. Despite so many offers, I always felt like I was being a burden to others.

I wish I was more strict with visitors at the hospital. I felt like shit and had blood pressure issues. DH was good about keeping people away at times, but I still should have spoken up more, or at least set limits on how long people could stay. Probably more so the latter.

Siona1976 · November 2014

Wish I worried less during the pregnancy & should have enjoyed it more - as everything turned out OK.

Have newborn clothes on hand. Zippered outfits with feet are awesome & quick.

Rock and play is awesome!

Snuggle nest, which allows us to cosleep w/ one of our twins. Luckily, they seem to trade nights on who is the fussier baby. I never thought we'd co-sleep but it is amazing what you will do for sleep & sanity.

Red light in my lamp for our bedroom. Allows me to see the twins when BF or diaper changes, but DH can keep on sleeping, plus it doesn't wake up the babies more.

No one prepared us for all.of.the.laundry!! Seriously, got a letter from the water dept b/c our usage has dramatically changed.

Taking a daily shower, makes me feel human.

Let things slide (aka house work) during the day for those first few weeks - Focus on you & the twins. All I worry about is feeding them & keeping them clean. I try to eat, stay hydrated & sneak a nap in. If I get a load of laundry in it feels like a huge accomplishment.

Good luck . . . You can do this!!

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