Need help with sleep issues (usually post on TTCAL)

Re: Need help with sleep issues (usually post on TTCAL)

• ashiscute member

  November 2014

  Have you talked to the pedi about her sleep? Has he given any suggestions? Has your DD ever put herself to sleep? In what way are you afraid she will hurt herself?
  
  Honestly you will not like what I have to say because I am not as patient or as nice as you. I would tell her that from now on you will read her X amount of stories and then it is bedtime. At that time put her in her crib and say good night and leave the room. If she cried I would then check on her after 3 mins, 5 mins, etc until she calms down.
  
  I know you said you don't want to let her cry because then she gets mad. Well, of course she'll get mad because she's no longer getting what she wants. I wouldn't be afraid she'd hurt herself either.
  
  There are a lot of books on sleep training that you can pick up. I liked Ferber's Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem but there might be another that works better for you. I'd read a few and find a strategy I felt comfortable with and them stick to it and be 100% consistent. Good luck

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• valeriegp member

  November 2014 edited November 2014

  Boy do I sympathize. My son, who is almost 23 months, has never been a great sleeper, started in August being a really bad sleeper after mostly sleeping through the night for a couple of months. It got worse and worse until he ended up in our bed from the beginning every night. It was the only way we could all get some sleep and function the next day.

  
  

  We tried modified CIO, similar to PP's suggestion to go in at extended intervals. It didn't work. We went up to 45 minutes, and he cried screamed his head off the entire time. (When he first started having trouble, he'd scream like there was an ax murderer in his room.)

  
  

  We talked to the Pedi -- twice. First I thought he might have an iron deficiency (nope). Then the talk was in the context of another visit. Pedi felt it was just a behavioral issue. 

  
  

  We've decided that he simply doesn't like to sleep alone. (And, honestly, I can't really blame him -- neither do I.)

  
  

  So, just over a week ago we bit the bullet and converted his crib to his toddler bed. We figured it couldn't get any worse -- I mean, he was sleeping with us all night anyway, and many of those nights keeping us awake because he tosses and turns. He can now get out of his bed and come to our room during the night. We didn't see this as worse than what was happening (and actually, saw it as better. Before he was sleeping for an hour or two in our bed before we came to bed, which meant we couldn't do any chores related to our room (put away laundry, pick out work clothes, etc. At least this way, we thought, we'd have our room back for a couple of hours if he would just fall asleep in his room.) We also thought if we moved the book reading part of his routine to being while he was in bed, he might be more likely to stay there.

  
  

  And you know what, I might regret saying this, but it is getting better. Some nights it still takes about an hour to get him to sleep (we aren't to the point yet where he will fall asleep without one of us in the room), but some nights it only takes about 20 minutes. And last night he didn't wake  until 4 am (we get up at 5 and him between 5:30 and 5:45, so this isn't that early for us). The night before he woke up at 2ish and came to our room, but let me take  him right back and fell back asleep within 10 minutes. The handful of nights before that he woke up between 10 and midnight, but let us put him back to bed, with varying success.

  
  

  We modified our bedtime routine to fit with his new bed, and have done a few things differently (he gets a sippy cup of water in bed, now for example).

  
  

  Now, I should say that we don't worry too much about him being out and about in the house. First of all, he's not one to do that, personality wise. And second we live in a small house and it would be hard for him to get out of bed and not come to our room and us not know it. Lots of parents aren't comfortable with that, but it has been fine for us.

  
  

  As soon as he will fairly consistently stay in his room all night, we will work on shortening the getting to bed part. And we are already seeing signs that he's getting ready for this.

  
  

  This is just my anecdote, so something like this might now work for you. Good luck with whatever you do, because it is soooo hard. :-(

  

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• lovemybellag member

  November 2014

  Thanks for your advice ladies. I'm concerned that she will fall in her crib which she has a few times and hit her head on the wood slabs. I will take your advice into consideration and try these techniques. Hopefully we will all have better sleep soon!

  me = 32  DH = 33

  TFAS  

  BFP2 august 2014 ended in m/c .... Gone but not forgotten....forever in my heart!

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• ashiscute member

  November 2014

  lovemybellag said:

  Thanks for your advice ladies. I'm concerned that she will fall in her crib which she has a few times and hit her head on the wood slabs. I will take your advice into consideration and try these techniques. Hopefully we will all have better sleep soon!

  That would not concern me in the slightest. I have a 2 yo DS and 3 yo DD. Someone is always hitting their head. They usually jump up and keep playing. It's hard but just remember that she is actually okay. Good luck!

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