Toddler moms... anyone starting to have issues carrying them?

bhjones1980 · November 2014

this started intermittently a few weeks ago, and has become a constant thing this week, I can not hold or carry DS without getting pains/muscle tightness/spasms in my stomach, that turn into BH if I hold him long enough.

He is about 30lbs (not a small boy) and I am getting concerned how I am going to handle him on my own in the next 12+ weeks.

Any tips from STM or TTMs who have dealt with this?

ordinary1 · November 2014

When Annabelle wants me to carry her, we sit and cuddle. She usually just wants me to hold her when she wants to be close to me so this works great for me.

michelle142 · November 2014

DS is small for his age - about 28lbs. I can't carry him in front of me, only on the hip. Only for short times though, otherwise the BH start for me too.

Luckily he doesn't want to be held too much. We snuggle on the couch a lot to make up for the time he wants me to carry him and I just can't.

mandamoochie · November 2014

I am SO in this same boat. And it's so difficult for me to actually ask for someone to carry him or change his diaper. It seems like something I should really be able to do. But being SAH I *have* to do it at least 10 hrs a day, so by the time DH is home I physically can't anymore. Henry is about 24 lbs now. And he still won't attempt climbing the steps. Carrying him upstairs is by far the worst.

If anyone has any suggestions - I am all ears. Thanks for asking this!

Oem617 · November 2014

DS is about 30 lbs too. It's really hard for me to carry him for more than a few min. I just tell him I can't. He likes to walk alot when we are out. So that helps, but it's also hard to keep an eye on him. I have said "you are too heavy" so many times, tthat when he wants to be carried, he calls it "heavy." I have no advice, sorry. Using the stroller more and having DH help and having him walk is all I can do. But DS might be older than yours.

smg2302 · November 2014

DD is only 22 lbs, so I'm not sure how much of a difference the 8lbs makes, but I can still carry her comfortable for short distances. A store parking lot is too much and the BH starts. I've started parking right near the cart return so I can put her right in a cart.

At home, I just sit on the floor with her. If I'm at her level, she can just cliimb all over me and that is less stressful on the belly.

bhjones1980 · November 2014

He can walk fine (he is 18 months), but can not go down the stairs yet by himself, so I have no choice but to carry him down the stairs, and getting him in and out of the car is getting to be a huge challenge.

SBmomma · November 2014

I haven't been able to since 12 weeks.

DS is 33 pounds & Im carrying twins. It's so hard!

maryxc1 · November 2014

DS just turned 2 1/2 and is over 30 pounds. Ever since I got pregnant I have been working on decreasing carrying him. If I hold him for more than a couple minutes it starts to hurt. We use carts in almost every store and he walks most places holding my hand. Luckily he is old enough that he can walk places and such.

dontgiveupnomatterwhat · November 2014

Same here! When I hold my 24lb son, I immeditaly get nauseous. His weight pushes down on my stomach. I feel like it's really been upsetting him with me not being able to hold him for long.
I have been setting him on the kitchen counter next to me when I prepare food...letting him "help". (He loves pouring water into the pan and then noodles or rice.)
He also "helps" me with the laundry. I hand him a piece from the wash and he tranfers it to the dryer for me. It takes much longer but he is distracted from wanting to be held. He also knows to throw a dryer sheet in and shut the door. Pretty steller for 16mos!
I guess my point in saying that, is if they are big enough, include them to "help you" with everything so they get distracted. They will want to do just about anything you allow them to help with...for now, at least.

pixelatedjane · November 2014

My DS is about 40 lbs (also almost 4 yrs old) but still likes to be held sometimes. Since it was just he and I for the first 2.5 yrs I was used to doing everything for him... And pretty much from the start of this pregnancy my SO doesn't want me to carry the kiddo (just in case, I guess). So his stepdad does the "heavy lifting" now... And I've gotta say I miss it terribly!! I just wanna pick him up and hold him or carry him to bed and I can't, he's just too heavy.

WanderingA · November 2014

I'm in the same boat even though Adeline only weighs 20 pounds. I can carry her for very short periods of time but after my cramping scare a few weeks ago I have been trying not to. While we're home together I let her climb on me but I try to encourage her to walk as much as possible. She can go up and down the stairs (with me spotting her) so I let her do that as much as possible. I have found that it's easier on me if she's in a carrier on my back so when I have no choice that's what we do. I'd like to be able to hold her more but I figure this is helping to prepare her for when I will have Milo in my arms all the time!

bhjones1980 · November 2014

toamberroy said:

My OB told me, as much as possible, not to pick up my daughter. She's 33 pounds, and it certainly causes my uterus to tighten when I pick her up. I try as much as possible to let her sit in my lap when I am seated.

I am running out of lap too!

It is funny since he is not normally really cuddly but now that I can NOT hold him as much he is ALL OVER me!

SaraL1175 · November 2014

I told my 3 yo he's too heavy... Over and over. He's finally processed that, but I have no hope for my 15 month toddler. So I carry him. Luckily he is only 22 lbs. I carry on my hip, not up front, but idk what I will do when sweetpea gets here and he still wants a carry.

RedGiant · November 2014

I had some carpal tunnel pain/issues that I finally got diagnosed a month or two before I got pregnant. At that time I had to tell DS (28 lbs) I couldn't carry him as much, and we worked on stairs (he holds the railing and one of my hands). Thankfully the carpal tunnel pain went away with wearing a wrist brace for a few months, but now the belly has started to get in way. He still loves being carried, so I only do it when I need to.

I second the suggestions of parking next to cart return and quickly moving kid to cart when shopping (at any store for any small or large amount of items being purchased). I try to have DS walk to and from the car with me so I only have to lift him in and out of the seat.

mandamoochie · November 2014

I have the one weird kids who also refuses to get into shopping carts. He screams his head off. He's 16 months and apparently too independent for that.

smg2302 · November 2014

Obvious answer: clone yourself.

topolina1215 · November 2014

Same issues here - DD is about 21 months and maybe 24ish pounds. Luckily she recently started wanting to do our stairs by herself (I think our daycare instructor was instrumental in this - she's been teaching DD to ask to hold my hand rather than always asking to be picked up).

I second the shopping cart trick - so much easier to park near the cart return than near the store entrance!

Also, one thing I was having a lot of issues with was that DD kept wanting to climb on/off the couch (we snuggle and read books a lot together there) and to be picked up so she could wash her hands in the sink. I finally bought her a little step stool so she could do it herself and she loves it. That's helped quite a bit.

lizzybean · November 2014

Im in the same boat. Lifting her in and out of the carseat and highchair are the hardest, and putting her in her crib.

Also, last night she was super upset in the middle of the night and I rocked her in the glider. She was sitting on my bump while we cuddled and Audrey was just kicking her like crazy. I don't think she liked being squished.

Sibling rivalry starts already!

lizzybean · November 2014

CrazyCornball said:

lizzybean said:

Im in the same boat. Lifting her in and out of the carseat and highchair are the hardest, and putting her in her crib.
Also, last night she was super upset in the middle of the night and I rocked her in the glider. She was sitting on my bump while we cuddled and Audrey was just kicking her like crazy. I don't think she liked being squished. Sibling rivalry starts already!

I still read to DD in the rocker every night, and she is always getting kicked by the baby. I think she doesn't really like the squishing..but I think she likes hearing her sister talk and me read. Or that's what I tell myself.

@CrazyCornball that is true! When I read to Ella I have to squish her in beside me because she crushed my belly. And Audrey still kicks then too, Im sure because she likes the stories

mishka29 · November 2014

The lift to the car seat is the worst for me. I hope to make this better by going forward facing in a week or two. I feel like something is going to rupture trying to get her into a small space while not hitting her head and being short and weak. Not cool!

michelle142 · November 2014

re: the carseat... I now just unbuckle DS and he jumps down himself. I only have to lift him from the car down to the ground. Thank goodness for that.

michelle142 · November 2014

I think we should include "Lap Room: How much is left" in next weeks HDBD

SaraL1175 · November 2014

mandamoochie said:
I have the one weird kids who also refuses to get into shopping carts. He screams his head off. He's 16 months and apparently too independent for that.

One of my kids was like that as a toddler. Grocery shopping was awful!

FlowerPower16 · November 2014

I'm also in the same boat. DS weighs just over 30 lbs. He is kind of in a daddy phase right now, so that helps, but there are lots of times when it's just us two and I have no choice. The worst is carrying him up the stairs and lifting him in to a shopping cart. I usually only have to carry him up stairs when he's tired since he can go up himself.

I also agree that it's getting awkward having him sit in my lap. He wants to lean back on me and it just doesn't work anymore.

Sorry I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to say I feel you.

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Toddler moms... anyone starting to have issues carrying them?

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