Guilty feelings

mooncusp22 · November 2014

I've been having a tough time lately and just feel guilty about everything. DD has always been a great baby, but lately she has been a bit more fussy and needy. I can feel my blood pressure rising each day and when she cries and cries I just get so frustrated. I am embarrassed to admit I snapped at her the other day to "please shut up". I immediately started crying myself for saying that and just hugged her and apologized.

I am home with her and life has just gotten so busy because we moved to another state about 2 weeks ago. My schedule is all thrown off and now that we are finally settled in our home I am trying to get on a new schedule. With that, I have been so bad about feeding her solids. I have only been doing it once a day and some days not at all. And I have not read a book to her in about 3 weeks! I used to do this every day. There just have not been enough hours in the day, always running around.... and I feel super guilty because I am lucky to be with her all day.

I just feel like I am being a bad mom and I've been crying about it all day. It's just been such a frustrating day yet again and I feel like I am failing. I just spent the past 2 hours making a ton of different homemade baby food and freezing it so that I can try a fresh start tomorrow to make up for it.

Ksample89 · November 2014

You are a great mom. Your LO loves you. Our babies really don't need solids yet so don't beat yourself up about that at all. Life gets in the way of our routines sometimes but things will settle down and everything will go back to "normal". I know my baby is in the "I want to be entertained 24/7 phase" so she has been more fussy than normal. I think we have all been frustrated with constant crying at some point. It is not easy but if it was easy dads would be the go to parent :-)

Mport90 · November 2014

Your not alone, your a great momma. Keel your head up, sounds like things will settle into place now!! I too am feeling guilty because I want to put my LO in daycare to get a break...

mooncusp22 · November 2014

Yep, she just needs that 24/7 attention and again, I feel guilty when I can't give it to her!

CalinAZ · November 2014

I think it's a phase they're going through right now. LO is definitely needing a lot more attention than he used to. Also, don't feel badly about solids. We're horrible about it, too. Food before one is just for fun, so as long as your little one is getting formula or breastmilk, they are getting what's important.

I'm sorry things are feeling so rough for you right now. All that transition must be very challenging! Give yourself time to figure things out - it'll take awhile before you feel settled enough to feel "on top of things" like you did in your own home. You'll get there!

myla14 · November 2014

The appeal of giving solids is definitely fading! It's just so messy and the baby only seems mildly into it. Also, I'm as permissive/touchy-feely with my baby as it gets, and I feel like I'm going to lose my shit lately when he cries, rolls, wriggles and generally makes it impossible for me to diaper and dress him. Whyyyyy? So: don't feel bad, I think it's normal:).

Abcollins57 · November 2014

We're going thru the same thing. I've been mentally calling DS my little dictator.
I can't even imagine trying to move on top of dealing with him. That stress is bound to break anyone. Keep your head up and plan some me time if you can!

chichi589 · November 2014

I read this article today and loved it! Maybe it'll make you feel a little better you're a good momma for worrying. "I've come to this simple realization: If you are worried that you're not a good parent, trust me, that makes you an amazing parent. It's the parents who don't worry that we should be worried about. "

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6035514

Liane28 · November 2014

This is normal. I think we all feel this way at some point. We're just so darn tired! We are up multiple times per night, we are up early, we have chores to tackle, meals to prep and meals to eat/try to remember to eat, showers to try to take, poops to try to take, diapers to change, cuddles to give, songs to sing in unusual high pitched voices, little tiny wiggly fingernails to trim, and on and on and we must not forget to breathe!
Give yourself a break and remember that you ARE supermom. And you are the best mom for your baby.

mooncusp22 · November 2014

chichi589 Great article!! #1 really hit me as that is another thing I still feel guilty about- never being able to breastfeed! I just never got a decent supply in and pumped what I could for 3 months and then supply completely depleted...

( If it's not one thing it's something else !

mooncusp22 · November 2014

AprilMay9 Loving our new area and house!! I feel normal again and have everything back at my fingertips. It was a nightmare of a move (and also had a 700 mile drive with a packed car, baby and two dogs) but we made it!

mooncusp22 · November 2014

Thanks everyone... always nice to hear you are not alone! /It's still a weird feeling to be a SAHM when I am used to working. So, I feel my "job" is: making sure I feed solids, read books, tummy time, etc etc. When I don't get these things in I feel like I failed my job, or worse that I am delaying my child.

Talltrees82 · November 2014

Someone posted on here once "you can't ruin a child in a day", and it's so very true! As long as your LO is warm, dry, fed and loved right now, she will be fine without books or solid foods. There are some days where you just have to do your best to get through the day. Moving is such a big, stressful thing and I would imagine a long distance move would be even more so! Hang in there, you're doing a great job!

emilyann64 · November 2014

Sorry you're feeling so guilty. As others have said, we all have those days. I think it's great that you even went through the effort of making all of the food! I'm sure you're a wonderful momma, and I bet your LO thinks so too

Cecilbear · November 2014

At least you said "please"!

In all seriousness, I'm right there with you. I snapped at LO two weeks ago and can still clearly see the surprised look on her face. There are days I feel so guilty about the kind of mother I am that I can't think of much else.

We just do the best we can to make our bebes feel safe and loved, right? Some days, weeks, months will be easier than others. Hang in there!

mooncusp22 · November 2014

Happy to report that things have been MUCH better!!! She had her 3rd tooth cut through and it's almost fully out now so I am wondering if that was added to her fussiness. But, things have been getting better and we have been getting back on a schedule now. It's nice when she takes those 2 hour naps mid afternoon so that I can have "me" time which consists of cleaning and getting stuff done (but that makes me feel better to be able to get things done). And she has been going to bed every single night at 6:00pm and sleeping until about 6:30/7am. Nice to have the evening to have dinner with DH with just each other and watch our shows together.

Feeling balanced again.... until next time

)

chirico3 · November 2014

Hugs to you. You are just tired. I know well that feeling of being fed up with everything and needing just a quiet moment.

You are a loving mom, your girl has everything she needs, and this stage will pass too. Just be patient and try to get some rest/ask husband to help you a little more if he can.

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