When are you going to tell your parents? Extended family? — The Bump
July 2015 Moms

When are you going to tell your parents? Extended family?

I apologize if this has been posted, but I did a quick search and didn't see anything on this specific topic.

When do you plan on telling your parents (or when did you tell them)?  Your extended family (like aunts, uncles, etc).

I have a history of miscarriage, so I'm paranoid about telling anyone until I'm much further along.

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Re: When are you going to tell your parents? Extended family?

  • JoJo716JoJo716
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am about 8 weeks along and I told my family pretty early. Mainly because I thought I was farther along. With my first, I waited until 12 weeks to tell everyone. Before I tell anyone, I just make sure that I would be comfortable with them knowing if something happened. If that makes sense.

    Edit- grammar

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  • I'm still undecided for my extending family. I have a few cousins that are having trouble conceiving so I don't really want to annouce at Christmas. I don't want that to be hard for them. I will probably tell extended family sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have history of mc too so I'm cautious. I did tell my parents and brother and sister already.
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    [Deleted User]ccarrozza1
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  • So I just saw the "to tell on a holiday or not" thread, so disregard.  :)

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  • I'm going to tell my Mom and BFF this week. Everyone else will find out after Christmas.
    Married 5/31/10
    DS 10/31/12
    BFP 11/18/14
    EDD 7/31/15

    July15 Siggy Challenge: Favorite holiday movie. Bad Santa!
  • We are planning on telling family after Christmas. Not because we're worried about telling them before another loss but because we don't want the holidays to be all about us (again). With the m/c, Christmas 2012 was all about us, with our son being born 6 weeks before Christmas 2013 was all about us, so we don't need 2014 following the same.

    We will tell extended family immediately after the parents. Especially since our parents like to tell their brothers and sisters immediately anyway.

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    BFP #1 - 11/7/12 * M/C - 12/8/12 @ 7W6D
    BFP #2 - 3/2/13 * DS1 - BORN ON EDD - 11/13/13
    BFP #3 - 11/7/14 * DS2 - BORN ON EDD - 07/21/15 
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  • We don't plan on telling our parents and siblings until after my 8 week appointment. I have told 2 of my aunts (they're the closest thing I have to a mother figure at the moment - my mother is alive but is ill and has a lot of memory issues), and 3 of my best friends. Essentially all the people I talk to on a regular basis who I would go to if something bad were to happen.
    Married 8/14/09
    TTC #1 since 5/2014
    BFP #1 11/14/14 - CP @ 5w2d
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  • I go back and forth about telling at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I really cant decide. I worry Thanksgiving will be hard and they may figure it out since I wont be indulging in any adult beverages. It would be immediate family only (brothers and sisters, parents already know) and wont tell the rest of the world until after 1st tri.



  • Planning on telling Saturday! Trying to come up with cute, fun, surprizing ideas to share my news! <3
  • We told my our parents and siblings last Sunday at 4 weeks 1 day. Hoping we can wait on the extended family but I have a feeling it will come out at Thanksgiving. 
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  • I found out at 2am and woke up DH to tell him. I called my mom first thing in the morning. My dad, 2 brothers, MIL, FIL, and SIL all know as well. (We just found out yesterday and had blood work done immediately to confirm). I will be telling my aunt and grandparents this weekend. I lost twins in August and I loved having all the support. The rest of the family won't be in formed until 12 weeks

    BFP #1: 8/13/12 Azalea Mae born via c-section 4/27/13
    BFP #2: 7/20/14 Twins -loss #1 7/29/14 loss #2 8/20/14 D&C 8/22/14
    BFP #3: 11/18/14 EDD: 7/22/15
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  • I told my sister the day after I found out, my in laws that weekend and I plan on tell my dad, his fiancee and my grandma at Thanksgiving...extended family at Christmas, by then I'll be 10 maybe 11 weeks
  • I have told my 2 best friends.

    We'll tell our parents and siblings in January after I hit 12 weeks. As for our large extended families, our parents will probably call to tell their siblings the news, and then we'll share on FB with them probably around 15w or so?
    Mama to two crazy kiddos
    J -- 9/04
    L -- 11/10
    E -- 7/15

  • We will probably tell our parents at thanksgiving and when his visit the week after, but mostly because it will be so obvious with me not drinking and feeling sick.

    Is it weird that I'm NOT excited to tell anyone else? I will be going to my hometown for thanksgiving, and was actually relieved my two best friends are out of town or working, because I don't want to tell anyone. We told one set of friends out where we live, and it was awful! I didn't know how to bring it up to her (bf knew - hubby told him), and then felt so weird from all the attention.
  • We told my mom and his mom already, and I told one of my best friends.  Other than that, we'll wait until after 12 weeks.
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  • My H and I both told our families today (7w6d). We only told close family, parents and siblings. We will announce later on due to previous miscarriage. We waited until today because we got to see baby and hear the heartbeat this morning.

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  • We are telling our family on Christmas. I am making my mom some spoons (she collects them) that say "I'm going to be a grandma...again". Getting my BIL and best friend and husband that say new uncles and Auntie and for MIL I am making her an ornament. My daughter gets to help reveal. She also gets the present of a new baby brother or sister. She has been asking forever! (she is 7)

  • KellyinHBKellyinHB
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic First Answer
    edited November 2014
    We told our parents right away, but that was mainly because we were all set to start IVF.  Then we found out we got pregnant naturally, and had to tell them of (welcome!) the change in plans.

    I think I'll tell my extended family sometime before Christmas, mostly because I know they would likely give me a bunch of booze gifts that I won't want right now.  Yeah that's my cousins. :))

    Married - April 2014  |  Miscarriage - June 2014
    BFP - Oct 2014 - was scheduled for IVF, but discovered we did it naturally instead! - first baby!  EDD July 8

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  • I can't decide!! I've only told my one BFF. I can't decide about my immediate family including parents. We are close so I want to spill the beans but Christmas is just after the 12 week mark and the reveal would be fun.

    Currently I'm thinking that I will tell my parents early December after our local Santa Clause parade that we go to every year. Almost all of the extended family is overseas so I will probably send out a Christmas email with an announcement of some kind. I'll probably let everyone else know around New Years.
  • We told our immediate family pretty much straight away. I'm a social drinker and we've got a lot of parties coming up. It's easy to lie to my friends (on a detox because I feel so fat, blah blah ☺️), but harder to lie to my family. We'll tell extended family and friends around New Years, after our 12w scan.
  • I've told a ton of people already. I get my second beta on Friday, if it goes well (oh please go well!). This weekend I'm going to finally order my bridemaid dress for my sisters wedding in April. I want to take a picture of me in the dress with a pillow or something under it to show my family what I'll look like in the dress. I'll just show them the picture at thanksgiving and see if they can figure it out. :)

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • We plan on telling people at the holidays. My family and his parents Christmas eve and then the rest of his family on Christmas day.
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  • Probably not until the spring. April.
  • I told my parents and sisters right after I found out. My H told his parents and sibling's. After I have my first ultrasound if everything looks good I plan on telling everyone else.
  • I told my mom and dad right away but my SIL (who has had a hard time getting pregnant) is having her last baby shower on Sunday so I am waiting to tell my family and H family til Christmas time (i dont wanna take the spotlight away from my SIL)
  • We told parents right away. Was planning to wait until Thanksgiving for extended family and Christmas for the general fb blast.
    I might have to change that though. DS knows (was planning to wait with him, but that kid is so creepily observant) and 5 is a hard age to be able to keep secrets.
    He's been good so far, but spilled the beans to my neighbors tonight. :p When I asked him why he said it was because he just wanted to tell someone and this secret was takingtoo long. 5 year old logic. /:)
  • My parents already know. My mom actually found out the same day I did, my dad found out last week and my in laws don't know yet. I plan to tell my in laws in the next week or 2 and everyone else can wait till I know the sex. Unless I change my mind.



  • I'm waiting until 12 weeks to tell my family. I'm considered high risk so I just want to wait awhile before we tell anyone.
  • I really don't know what to do. We haven't tell anyone. My DH wants to tell his family for Christmas. By Christmas we will have 14 weeks.
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  • Do you really think they'll be able to keep it a secret until 12 weeks? I am due 7/5 and don't want to tell ANYONE until Feb just to make sure everything is in the clear but my hau and wants to tell people now. I've always felt people suck at keeping secrets.
  • We told our family and I told my best friend. We will tell all our friends and put it put on Facebook after my first ultrasound on the 15th. I know my family will be there for me if something happens and I am a sharer so I'll need the support either way. Praying for the next 3 weeks to go smoothly and have good news at the u/s!
  • We are telling our parents on thanksgiving when they are all together. We planned on getting them together whenever we did have the news to share with them, its just happened to be Thanksgiving when that will happen. I will tell my brothers via face time then as well. Other people will find out the week of christmas after my appointment with the doctor. 

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    Married 5/22/10, DD born 8/24/11, ttc #2 sept '14
    BFP 11/17/14 EDD 7/27/15 MC 11/23/14 ;5wks

  • We told my 15 yo dd and both families the day we found out. Maternal extended family getting together in 3 weeks and we will tell them then. Everyone else waits until Christmas when I'm 12 wks
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  • We will tell parents after our first appointment (Dec. 4).... if I can make it through thanksgiving dinner without getting sick!
  • We decided to tell our parents on Thanksgiving as they are coming to our house for dinner. I have my first appointment this coming Monday and if all goes well, I just think it is the perfect time to let them know. It will be right around the time we told them with my son. I am a little nervous as I won't even be 8 weeks, but this is our last baby and I really want our family to be able to share in our joy for as long as possible. We know they are going to be over the moon happy for us. 

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    BFP 1/24/2012 - DS Born 9/22/2012 (11 days early!)
    BFP 2/15/2014 - CP 2/19/2014
    BFP 11/4/2014 - Due 7/14/2015
  • We are planning on telling both sides of our families on Christmas. I am having a hard time deciding if it can wait until then though because I have been so sick and constantly cancelling appointments with our families and don't know how much longer I can go before someone gets suspicious! I have become quite a liar...my husband and I both have! Haha!
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