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November 2014 Moms
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Thanksgiving plans... Help!

krissykris89krissykris89 member
edited November 2014 in November 2014 Moms
I could use some advice and input...

I'm due Thursday, doctor said he will induce if she is not here after that. But if she comes naturally or induced I'm still going to have a fresh newborn around Thanksgiving. IL's are having Thanksgiving this year and with that comes all five other grandkids. I know everyone is going to want to hold and kiss on her and I really don't want that kind of exposure from so many people. I feel like if we don't go IL's are going to be very dramatic about it one way or another. I told DH last night I didn't feel comfortable going and I really didn't want to have to explain myself for not wanting anyone to hold LO. He told me he supported my decision but I know how his family is! Last thanksgiving they all had a huge fight and I'm just not the type of person who tolorates that kind of junk.

I shouldn't have to feel bad for not wanting to go or explain myself. So why do I feel so confused about it?


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Re: Thanksgiving plans... Help!

  • kaimee27kaimee27 member
    Since it's your DH's family, I'd say he's the one who needs to talk to them.  A simple LO is going to be pretty new and we're all just going to stay home and rest should suffice.  There are going to be a lot of times in the future when you will probably displease someone because of decisions you make for the best for your family.  It sounds harsh, but they'll have to learn to get over it.  Or, if you do decide to go, then maybe you or your DH could baby-wear for the day and just explain that it's cold and flu season and you could say that your doctor recommended limited exposure in the first few weeks?  I think that's pretty common.

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  • krissykris89krissykris89 member
    @kaimee27‌ I agree he should be the one to talk to them. I had planned on not having any visitors really for the first few weeks because of the cold and flu season. MIL was talking about how she was so excited and had all these plans, I guess it made me feel obligated? You're absolutely right tho I have to make the best decision for my family and the wellness of our LO.

    Baby wear is a good idea, thank you for your input.
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  • krissykris89krissykris89 member
    lovebuggies1 said:

    We've had a few of these threads. Most advice was to baby wear or don't go at all. You can set the rules for your baby if you do decide to go.

    At first I wasn't going to my family dinner, my mom was going to make me my own private special dinner. Now I found as it gets closer I don't care. We're going to everyone's house to eat and I set the rules and I'll be baby wearing. Hand sanitizer will be flowing, no kissing (remember mono regular bumpies lol) and sick people are a no-no. They'll be alright :)

    @lovebuggies1‌ Yeah I've seen the posts I guess my main concern is the drama. I've seriously never met such a dramatic family before in my life. DH is completely different from them thank the Lord!

    If I change my mind I'll do the baby wearing and probably act like Gollum from LOTR "my preciousssss" LOL.


    @jlk6‌ absolutely they don't have to deal with a sick baby. MIL doesn't really think about things like this. It's more about her... I'm letting her in the delivery room (if everything goes as planned). So maybe it'll cut me some slack from not attending any family events for awhile. I'm not even going to my own family dinner and they all completely understand.

    Thanks ladies I don't feel obligated any longer. They don't like it then tough cookies.
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  • jalyndaijalyndai member
    We're due 11/26 and told both families months ago that we're not planning on going to Thanksgiving and not sure about Xmas either. They'll get over it! Just be clear about what you want and when you're ok with having visitors come see you... It's flu season after all and that's scary with a newborn!
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  • wallygirlwallygirl member
    I'm due 11/23 and won't be induced till after Thanksgiving if LO doesn't come before then. I have already informed everyone that we would not be attending any dinners with a 2 weeks old or less. If I haven't had the baby by then we will obviously go but with a new baby no way. If for some reason we decided to attend my husband or myself would be baby wearing the entire time we are there.
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  • jaminjeffjaminjeff member
    DS was 13 days old and this LO will be 5 days old.  Both times we told everyone sorry, we're staying home and they were all fine with it.  My dad dropped off a cooked turkey last time and I made some sides.  We'll probably do the same this time.  They need to get over it.
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    Cycle #22 - 1/27/11 - IUI #1 & Injections - BFP! - DS born 11/11/11 
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  • kstirtonkstirton member
    edited November 2014
    We have the same scenario. Dhs parents ate coming In from texas and expected us to drive an hr down the highway to make it for dinner. We did not commit to any plans from the get go (dh broke that news) and good thing too bc so far looks like she will be there the 24th. If they don't understand that's on them. Blame it on your recovery if you have to, and baby not weening onto a bottle yet. No one can argue that you feel well enough to attend a dinner. We are opening our home to visitors but I won't be going anywhere that day!

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