August 2014 Moms

Suggestions for DH

Hi ladies! I need some advice. LO is 13 weeks old. Fortunately I am still home on maternity leave, so most days it is just us girls. My husband works long days and makes it home just in time to help with our bedtime routine. However, she now screams bloody murder when he tries to rock her to sleep. He tries everything we can think of, asks me for tips, but eventually has to pass her off to me. She pretty much calms down right away and passes out.

On the days he works, 5 days a week, this is his only time with her. He wants to be involved and he wants this time with her.

I am hoping this is just a phase, but any suggestions are appreciated! I don't want this to stick around. Thanks!

Re: Suggestions for DH

  • Maybe changing the position that he holds her? For example, sit her up, walk around with her, let her put her head on his shoulder. He could also keep a burp cloth, shirt, or lovie on him that you have worn or kept by you so it has your scent. Shhhing and quiet talking can help as well.
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  • Can he participate in something else she likes....like could you give her a bath when he gets home? Or even if you BF could he do a bottle for her last feeding?
  • jenniferursjenniferurs member
    edited November 2014
    Have you tried leaving the room and leaving the two of them alone? If you're nearby and she can smell/hear/sense you, she may just fuss until you eventually take over. But if you're nowhere in sight, she may eventually warm to your husband.
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  • Thanks ladies! I like the idea of wearing something of his during the day or giving him something that smells like me. We have not tried that yet.

    @becominggold‌ He does give her a pumped bottle before rocking her, but once I go back to work I will be nursing her. If he gets home early enough, I will have him give her bath! Good idea!

    @jenniferurs‌ She screams like that when we are different floors of the house. I am really worried about when she starts DC. I hope she isn't going to be like this with everyone.
  • DS2 does the same for my DH.  My OB says babies are like dogs, they smell fear.  I know DH gets tense when he has DS2 because he feels he cannot calm him down and then it is a self fulfilling prophecy.  Maybe ask your husband what would make him more comfortable?  And suggest LO's favorite comfort position.  I noticed when the baby cries DH always holds the baby away from himself or tries to put the baby on his chest while laying down (tummy time position).  Giving DH some ideas about different ways to hold the baby for comfort has helped us.
  • DH slept with a small blanket so we started using that during playtime on the floor since it smells like him
  • My DH puts her to bed and gives her the last bottle every night. At first, she would fuss and he had to learn how to calm her but I started just leaving the room and letting the two of them work it out. After A few difficult nights, they have a great routine and she goes right down for him now.

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