Need some advice, multiple showers...

Danielle0311 · November 2014

Hi ladies, I'm stopping by because I need some advice on what to do in my current situation.

So, my best friend is having her third baby in 5 years. First she had a boy which her mother threw her a shower for. Two years later she had a girl in which her mom didn't want to throw her a shower because she was on bad terms at that point and even though I absolutely hate second baby showers I threw her a small shower with 10 friends just at my house to lift her spirits. That's the backstory.

Fast forward to today and she is expecting her third baby, another boy in January. She came out and asked me if her mom is gonna throw her a shower and I told her no why would she have another shower? She's had TWO in the last few years?! She got upset and ASKED ME to throw her one. I told her no flat out. I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I would kind of like to enjoy my time with my one and only baby shower (the way it should be) well, she didn't accept the fact that no one is giving her a shower so she told me she is going to throw herself one!!!! I told her it was an awful idea and yet today I got the invitation in the mail!!! The RSVP contact is her. This is so crazy and people have called me already saying they absolutely aren't going. Thing is that she is my best friend. I do not want to go and won't go but how do I approach this without losing my friend? She has been so irrational this last year I don't know what's going on. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks ladies !!

VOR · November 2014

I'd approach w/ a simple "Sorry, I can't come". You have plans... too bad.

But if you actually lose her over this, this makes me question what kind of friend SHE is.

Maybe it's time to talk to her about what else is going on. You say she's been irrational - perhaps explore that

Unknown · November 2014

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Danielle0311 · November 2014

Yea, you are all right. DH wants me to rethink my friendship with her because of how selfish she has been. Her marriage is kinda going down the tubes and her fix to that is never being home with her kids and acting innapropriate for a pregnant woman being in bars and crazy places all the time. I try not to judge anyone but she constantly needs all eyes on her and constantly talks about not wanting this pregnancy yet she wants to throw herself a baby shower? It's so much stress for me being pregnant myself and dealing with her. Ughhh I just wish she would listen to reason and get it together ..

neverblushed · November 2014

Danielle0311 said:

Yea, you are all right. DH wants me to rethink my friendship with her because of how selfish she has been. Her marriage is kinda going down the tubes and her fix to that is never being home with her kids and acting innapropriate for a pregnant woman being in bars and crazy places all the time. I try not to judge anyone but she constantly needs all eyes on her and constantly talks about not wanting this pregnancy yet she wants to throw herself a baby shower? It's so much stress for me being pregnant myself and dealing with her. Ughhh I just wish she would listen to reason and get it together ..

Sounds like the two of you are growing apart anyway. I ditto the idea that you have prior plans that day and you can't go. If she gets angry and decides not to be friends with you -- her loss.

nightdreamer98 · November 2014

I wouldn't go either. You should be allowed to focus on your baby and not be required to throw her yet another shower. Throwing yourself a shower is just so tacky.

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