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February 2015 Moms
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2nd baby...do we have a shower?

Dougie23Dougie23 member
in February 2015 Moms
Just wanted to get your thoughts on baby showers. This will be our 2nd baby, do you have a shower for your second child or no?
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Re: 2nd baby...do we have a shower?

  • Smyers2girlsSmyers2girls member
    Oh geez, this will go over well. Did someone offer to throw you a baby shower?
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  • AF9211AF9211 member
    edited November 2014
    Personally, no...but I know some women who do and others who don't. 

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  • mandamoochiemandamoochie member
    edited November 2014
    Lol @af9211 clearly I'm not the only one awake at this hour...hope all is well! :) :-h
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  • AF9211AF9211 member
    edited November 2014
    omg @mandamoochie pregsomnia is killing me! Quinn is still napping twice a day (thank God I can sleep when she does) so I basically have my days & nights mixed up which is why I'm hardly on anymore! I hope all is well with you too!  :D 

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  • wintersong139wintersong139 member
    To be fair, it has been awhile since this question was asked, so it is probably several pages down by now.

    OP, generally on this site the ladies side-eye second showers, as well as throwing your own shower. But everyone's situation is different. If you are worried about people thinking you are gift-grabby, don't have one. If someone has offered and you think you need one for some reason (don't want to offend them, baby was a long time ago, etc), then go ahead and give the green light. Judge from your own circumstances whether it is a good idea. 
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  • SaraL1175SaraL1175 member
    Ladies from other months will troll on over to tsk and shame this thread. Personally, I don't care because who throws a shower for themselves, but unless you have the opposite gender or it's been so long since your first that all of your baby gear has expired, why would you need one?
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  • jennjilljojennjilljo member
    ChickenOnSunday said:

    My advice is to not ask about this subject on TB. It brings out lots of opinions and most are negative. Also, others from outside of F15 will flock to your post.

    In short, if someone offers to throw you a second shower and you would like a second shower than go for it. Just don't talk about it on here.

    Yes. This is correct.
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  • AlygohomeAlygohome member
    I think it's tacky
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  • wirtlehmwirtlehm member

    I agree w PP's... if someone offers to throw you one then it's great! However it's tacky and self-centered to ask for one and even worse to throw one for yourself...


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  • ordinary1ordinary1 member
    Second showers are tacky. A shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood. You are already a mom.
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  • SaraL1175SaraL1175 member
    thedish0207 said:

    SaraL1175 said:

    Ladies from other months will troll on over to tsk and shame this thread. Personally, I don't care because who throws a shower for themselves, but unless you have the opposite gender or it's been so long since your first that all of your baby gear has expired, why would you need one?

    Really? Was that necessary?

    OP, to throw yourself a shower is bad etiquette.
    My points were:

    1. Presumably she's not throwing her own shower, so if her girlfriend wants to... Who cares

    2. Why does she need one, unless her last baby was forever ago and her gear is wrong gender or old, expired, recalled items

    3. The bump is incredibly touchy about second showers. The last time I read threads like this (a couple of months ago) people were literally chewing out the OP and commenting how they had just explained the elements of manners over on J15.... So yes. I've seen it happen. I was communicating to OP, whether a legit poster or a troll, that on TB there are quite strong feelings on this issue.
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  • ordinary1ordinary1 member
    SaraL1175 said:

    thedish0207 said:

    SaraL1175 said:

    Ladies from other months will troll on over to tsk and shame this thread. Personally, I don't care because who throws a shower for themselves, but unless you have the opposite gender or it's been so long since your first that all of your baby gear has expired, why would you need one?

    Really? Was that necessary?

    OP, to throw yourself a shower is bad etiquette.
    My points were:

    1. Presumably she's not throwing her own shower, so if her girlfriend wants to... Who cares

    2. Why does she need one, unless her last baby was forever ago and her gear is wrong gender or old, expired, recalled items

    3. The bump is incredibly touchy about second showers. The last time I read threads like this (a couple of months ago) people were literally chewing out the OP and commenting how they had just explained the elements of manners over on J15.... So yes. I've seen it happen. I was communicating to OP, whether a legit poster or a troll, that on TB there are quite strong feelings on this issue.
    Opposite sex is not a reason for a shower. Boys don't care if they sit in a pink car seat and girls don't care if it is blue. Shopping neutral for big items is also an option.
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  • SaraL1175SaraL1175 member
    ordinary1 said:

    SaraL1175 said:

    thedish0207 said:

    SaraL1175 said:

    Ladies from other months will troll on over to tsk and shame this thread. Personally, I don't care because who throws a shower for themselves, but unless you have the opposite gender or it's been so long since your first that all of your baby gear has expired, why would you need one?

    Really? Was that necessary?

    OP, to throw yourself a shower is bad etiquette.
    My points were:

    1. Presumably she's not throwing her own shower, so if her girlfriend wants to... Who cares

    2. Why does she need one, unless her last baby was forever ago and her gear is wrong gender or old, expired, recalled items

    3. The bump is incredibly touchy about second showers. The last time I read threads like this (a couple of months ago) people were literally chewing out the OP and commenting how they had just explained the elements of manners over on J15.... So yes. I've seen it happen. I was communicating to OP, whether a legit poster or a troll, that on TB there are quite strong feelings on this issue.
    Opposite sex is not a reason for a shower. Boys don't care if they sit in a pink car seat and girls don't care if it is blue. Shopping neutral for big items is also an option.
    ****

    Seriously--I agree a second shower isn't necessary. I just don't care if she has one, and trying to figure out why she would think she needs one. I generally try to put myself in other people's shoes when they ask for advice, meaning I'm trying to understand the rationale OP had in considering it. That doesn't mean I'm having a second shower, or championing second showers.
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  • Beth.1212Beth.1212 member
    No.
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  • Dougie23Dougie23 member
    Thanks for all the comments! No I'm not trying to throw one myself, lol my friend had asked to throw one. But I wasn't sure about it. My first baby was a boy and now I'm having a girl.
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  • Dougie23Dougie23 member
    Ok thanks
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  • krysmillkrysmill member
    Oh sweet baby Jesus I thought these threads were done for!! :((
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  • jaztasticjaztastic member
    Jaz was here... 

    Here is my take on things like this. You only ask questions if you feel weird about it. If you feel weird about it dont do it. 

    Thats the way I feel. You wouldnt ask us advice about something you were perfectly comfortably doing. 


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  • chickyclgchickyclg member
    edited November 2014
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  • jdonn1023jdonn1023 member
    I think it depends on situation. I do not want a second shower, but I am having one. I have a 5 year old son and I'm having a daughter. It's his first baby and his family is very insistent that they have one for us. So needless to say, I am. My family was also invited and they are eager about it as we'll. I think it depends on the situation.
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  • kerrigrooveskerrigrooves member
    my thoughts are no, esp if ur kids are close in age.  If someone offers to do a meal train, diaper party or small get together (no gifts please etc) then yes, its nice.

    I had an aquiaintance who threw herself a "Sprinkle"  instead of a shower - thought it was super tacky
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  • Maple403Maple403 member
    I actually don't side-eye 2nd showers at all. My work throws a shower for EVERYONE. For EVERY BABY. We like having cake. We do not buy gifts, however, if there is leftover cash after everyone contributes for cakes/food/drinks, we donate that cash to the prospective parents. 

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  • vargasgurlvargasgurl member
    Generally people don't feel it's appropriate to have a 2nd shower especially if it's the same gender.

    I am having twins and I have had a few aquaintances that have already asked to be invited to my shower ... Which I am not even aware is happening!

    I have had very close friends say that since I have 2 on the way , that it makes it different & my SIL mentioned something about a sprinkle (I mentioned it was frowned upon) I don't expect to have one ... Obviously if someone wanted to I wouldn't say no but I certainly wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to buy us anything. We have big purchases to make & in don't expect those to be gifted to us. We already have so much from our daughter.
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  • RedGiantRedGiant member
    I may get flamed for this, but my friend is throwing me a "sprinkle" in December for DD, my second baby. It is going to be a small get together with family and close friends (who happen to have kids around DS's age). It's pretty much a "let's have one last party before we become sleep deprived zombies" kind of thing. I love having parties/socializing with friends, so I see it as a fun way to hang out with the close people in my life before the new year. No expectation of gift giving, but my mom has told me that my grandma is excited to pick out some baby girl clothes. 
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  • lotsofdottslotsofdotts member
    Okay, I totally agree with no second showers; however, I'm in an interesting situation. I have two kids from my first marriage: 14 yo and 9 yo. I remarried a fellow teacher at my school. Needless to say, teachers and students alike were silly excited that we found each other. We have both been at the school for 10 years and have lots of close friends and colleagues. It is a large school with over 150 teachers on staff.

    I have been saying no to a school shower for months because it is bad etiquette. Some of the matriarchs of the school pulled me aside and told me to just go with it because everyone is thrilled and wants to do this for us, especially since it is my husband's first. I am still not thrilled but have come to realize that my colleagues are trying to be nice so I'm going to let it go and have fun. Also, we have had some major morale issues at our school and the matriarchs at the school said this whole shower thing is bringing some excitement to the building.

    Now, if we have another baby...there will not be any more showers. Period.

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  • Dannylion24Dannylion24 member
    UO around here, but my mom insisted on throwing me a small 'sprinkle' for close family and a few friends for my third baby after many relatives asked her about it. This little one was a surprise coming 4 & 5 years after my first two and everyone knew I had given away almost all of the baby clothing and other items I had (even the furniture). It was a pizza and cupcakes party at a small BYOB Italian restaurant and there was no registry on the invite or anything like that. If people asked my mom told them diapers and wipes or an outfit would be appreciated, but no gift was required. Mainly it was just a celebration for the new babe.

    Now I'm pregnant again (another surprise, despite being on BC, lol) and no amount of convincing would ever allow me to let another shower/sprinkle/anything to be thrown. However, my closest friend has arranged a spa day w 2 others as a little pampering party before I become a 4 kids in 6 years shut-in. Funny thing is she just became preg again herself, and one other friend is trying for their second so it really turning into just a prego day out (which i appreciate, bc I don't want the focus on me!). Can't wait.

    I guess bottom line is that I feel like second showers are generally frowned upon, but there can be situational exceptions.
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  • HaleyMonstahHaleyMonstah member
    I say nay!

    Instead, have a small get together with just close family and friends. Don't even call it a shower.

    To be honest, when I hear about people having a second shower, I can't help but feel they are being completely selfish.

    That's just my take 


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