Struggling

uncharted01 · November 2014

Hi everyone. I haven’t been active since my little man came into the world, but I’m still reading stories and so happy to see all these sweet November babies.

I’m not really sure the point of this post, maybe just to get all my feelings out. I’m having a really hard time with motherhood. I’m questioning everything I do, feeling guilty when people help, having a tough time eating (I have zero appetite and the thought of food makes me feel sick), and pretty much spending the day trying, unsuccessfully, not to cry. My husband has been so wonderful with helping and is encouraging me every step of the way, I just feel so lost. I keep asking myself how people do this so easily. I know it isn’t easy, but I’m just feeling really not cut out for this. I had such a happy, wonderful, easy pregnancy, I thought the feelings would last past birth, but all these feelings of hopelessness and confusion and fear are taking over. I don’t know. It’s just a struggle.

Is anyone else feeling like this or have advice?

belmont1785 · November 2014

Please mention it to your doctor. They can help you decide if it's the normal hormones or something more. I'm so glad your husband/family is being supportive.

My emotions have been all over the place too. I love love love being a mom but I have been grieving losing the "just us" part of my marriage. It sounds so dumb when I say that but that's how I feel. My hubby too has been awesome about it. But a new baby takes a lot of adjustment.

I hope you can get some better help/advice then I can give but don't be afraid to reach out to your doctor.

FishyMom · November 2014

I'm sure I will also feel like this when I get to the other side but u wanted to tell you that your are strong and I am sure you are doing a great job. Hugs and I hope you find some good support from these other mommas!

SarahHeck · November 2014

Aww @uncharted01‌, hugs! I'm sorry! I agree with pp. Sounds a lot like PPD. Definitely talk to your dr. You are totally cut out for this! Your hormones are just still all out of wack. It is totally normal to feel all the feelings that you are. Please don't put off talking to your dr. Really the sooner the better.

KatieOz920 · November 2014

You're not alone, having a baby is a huge life change and it can take some time to adjust (the hormones don't help either

) and some ups and downs and a bit of baby blues are totally normal.

With that said though, my twin sister had postpartum depression and expressed a lot of the feelings you just described- which sounds like more than just the blues. You may find talking to your doctor/professional to be a big help. I know one of my sisters big regrets was waiting so long to talk to someone about it because she felt like she didn't get to enjoy being a mom when her daughter was really young.
Sending hugs your way (o^-^)(-_-)o

smboswell1 · November 2014

Lots and lots of hugs! I have my bad and good days. I get very overwhelmed at times and I feel guilty for crying. Especially in front of Beckham! Hang in there mama!

Mbradley1026 · November 2014

This is completely normal! When I had my first I talked to my mom about it.. she always told me that's how you know your doing what you believe to be right for your child.. you worry and think your messing up all the time... when they got older and the feeling didn't go away (I still think this from time to time especially since I am divorced from my older 3 kids dad) my mom would remind me that behind every good kid is a mom who thinks she's screwing them up... so just remember you're doing your best and that is all that matters

NunyaBennis · November 2014

I've felt less than human at times, like such a worthless failure. That's usually when I think about finding some semblance of normalcy over the next month or two, though, so I'm trying to just focus on the current day, hour by hour. This is hard!
I agree with PP that while much of these feelings are normal at times, definitely talk with your doctor if you're not finding joy amid the difficulty. HUGS!!!

Dumbgurl04 · November 2014

HUGS TO YOU!!!!

I understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. There have been times I just hold my little girl and cry. I know you can read all about what to expect when baby finally comes but there is no way to really be prepared plus those dang hormones don't help. I know baby blues are a normal thing but if you feel more then just the normal baby blues I would let your doctor know. But feeling guilty and overwhelmed and the crying I would say are all pretty normal. Plus you know we are all hear for you and pretty much going through the same thing. HANG IN THERE

theMadRadishes · November 2014

This really sounds like post partum depression. I would tell your doctor your having a hard time coping. Im encapsulating just as an extra but maybe completely stupid precaution. I dont care how gross it might be. Ive gone to some dark places and theres no way in hell im letting myself go back there....

Dimples0101 · November 2014

I'm so sorry @uncharted01‌. Your feelings sound to me like PPD, which is completely normal, but please call your doctor because they can help you deal with the sadness. Please know that you are not alone with how you feel and come here to vent any time you need to. Hugs!

highbornhunter · November 2014

Just wanted to offer some support and words of encouragement. It's good that you're expressing your feelings and I agree you want to mention this to your doctor. You definitely want help sooner rather than later. Lots of love for you and your new LO.

jj0313 · November 2014

How long ago did you have your babe?? I'm day 6 and have been a shit show mess. It's normal. And so so hard. I cry every day. I had to ask my husband to put the baby down becuase I needed him to hold me! My understanding is the "blues" could last a couple weeks. If it's longer than that or doesn't seem manageable-talk to your doctor. I'm with you sister, hanging on to what everyone says-that it does get easier. Hugs.

HappyToBeHere · November 2014

Oh, @uncharted01, you are so not alone. I am absolutely loving this new adventure, but I cry at the smallest things. I just cry, and then feel guilty for crying. It even makes me feel guilty writing about it. But the most important thing is that we are doing the best that we can for ourselves and our babies, and we all need some help along the way. As for eating, my appetite has slowed way down as well, but I just remind myself that I have to fuel my body, and I grab whatever looks like it'll taste alright.

absolutelymaybe · November 2014

Hugs! I think others have covered advice, but wanted to say you aren't alone in feeling like motherhood is challenging. It's not easy for everyone. I'm finding myself struggling, too.

Stephaniegiboney · November 2014

I posted about this a few days ago. There are days that are better, and some that are really difficult. I was really not able to fathom how much different my life would be until LO got here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I agree that so many people act as though they have it all together. To that I think it's just that, acting, or they have one of those unicorn happy-all-the-time-sleep-through-the-night babies. Which I do not know about you but I don't have one of those!

Hang in there. Everyone says it gets better. I hope they are right, but for now I'm with you!

uncharted01 · November 2014

Thank you so much to everyone for all the support. It means so much more than I can even express. I think just talking about it and getting it all out was a big help. I'm just trying to take it one thing at a time, set myself little goals for the day, and I'll see how it goes from there. I see my doctor next week so if I'm still feeling like this, I will definitely bring it up. Thank you again.

kikimeemee · November 2014

belmont1785 said:

. I love love love being a mom but I have been grieving losing the "just us" part of my marriage. It sounds so dumb when I say that but that's how I feel. My hubby too has been awesome about it. But a new baby takes a lot of adjustment.

Omg -- this!! I had two days where the thought of it never being just me and my husband made me cry and feel so down. I had a good cry about it and have moved on. Each day with baby gets a bit better.

Maelara · November 2014

I just wanted to say that I don't think being a new mom comes easy to anyone. If it looks lime it is, you can be sure that its a front because having a new baby is HARD. Avery is so sweet and an easy baby but everything else that comes with giving birth is giving me a run for my money and I knew what to expect. You aren't alone and we are all here for you!

Kristil2014 · November 2014

Hugs mama. Know that you are not alone. Becoming a mother is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Know that we are all here for you.

rinaealy · November 2014

It will get better! Just hang in there. Being a Mom is so so hard that I respect my Mom even more now since being Mother. You are not alone.

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