At My Wit's End and Ready to Quit--Advice Please!

JamieK1882 · November 2014

I've only been at BFing for a week, but I'm nearing my ledge and ready to jump. It's just NOT going well. I need to know if there is something I am doing wrong, or if there is any advice on other things I can try.

In the hospital LO started out not eating well. The entire first day we could barely get her to latch. LC said I need to be feeding her every 3 hours for 35 min sessions. Luckily I had a very good night nurse who helped me and we figured out that she just doesn't eat that much. We try every 3 hours but it doesn't always take. She also liked being swaddled while eating (LC wanted her naked). So we were good with the new changes in the hospital.

At home things seemed to be going well for 2 days. She would eat every 2-ish hours for about 20 minutes. She's having plenty of dirty diapers and had gained back almost all of her birth weight at her pedi check up on Monday.

Starting yesterday, she has been eating more frequently (1-2 hours) and MUCH shorter sessions, averaging about 10 minutes each. My milk has definitely come in, and I'm wondering if that has something to do with it? I'm leaking like a mad woman, so I don't know if it's too much for her or what.

Today here is her feeding so far...

12:05am-12:18am (13 minutes)

1:47am-2:02am (15 minutes)

3:19am-3:31am (12 minutes)

4:42am-4:49am (7 minutes)

6:50am-6:57am (7 minutes)

9:23am-9:27am (4 minutes)

This last one (9:23am) I had to wake her up for and she only ate for 4 minutes. She is rooting and appears hungry, but when I get her to the breast she either doesn't latch, or latches and takes 2-3 sucks and then starts screaming.

Any advice? I hate to give up and go to exclusively pumping if there's something else I can be doing. Yesterday got so bad at one point we did give her a bottle of breastmilk followed by the breast, but I don't want to start that habit when she is only 6 days old...

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

Watch the baby, not the clock. You should be looking more at number of wet diapers to make sure she's eating enough. Some babies will eat for 10 minutes and be just fine. My DS2 ate 8 times a day for 10-20 minutes and he was/ still is a fatty.

Actually, I'm not sure what your concern is. Eating too much? Too little? Her schedule seems normal to me. Why did you wake her for the 9:23 feed? It had only been 2.5 hours since her last feed and she definitely wasn't hungry.
She's only six days old. There is no need to worry about 'starting a habit'. She is way way too young for that. At this point any 'pattern' you notice in feeding is probably just a coincidence. Feed her when she's hungry and don't worry so much about when and how long.

eggmankate · November 2014

I agree that I don't see the problem-you seem to be doing great

Why did you give her a bottle? If it's because she's nursing frequently that is totally normal and a good thing because she's signaling to your body that she wants more milk which helps increase your supply. And yes, don't wake her up to eat. Frequent feedings can be exhausting, but your LO will change it up real fast so it may have been cluster-feeding last night and she may do something different tonight. By the way--being back to birthweight at that age is awesome, way to go!

JamieK1882 · November 2014

The reason I woke her up (and also why she got a bottle yesterday) is because one night I let her go 4 hours before waking her to eat. She was SO overly hungry that she did nothing but scream and we couldn't get her on the breast at all. We gave her some in a bottle just to calm her down, then finished with her on the breast.

I'm terrified to repeat that experience, which is why I've been trying to make sure she eats every 2-2.5 hours.

Also, though, it seems like every feeding session is a huge struggle to get her to latch. It seriously takes me 20 minutes to get her to eat for 7. I'm so frustrated.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

Well, maybe she was just screaming for no reason, not because of the 4 hours. I think you are doing a great job! I know it is so hard with no sleep, but you are really on the right track.
Latching is hard at first but it will get easier! I promise!

And, I'm not saying this to depress you, but switching to bottles will not necessarily fix all your problems and let you sleep more.

Keep up the good work! Feed her on demand with nursing. Feeding bottles at this time is just adding extra work and uncertainty.

Checkout kellymom.com for some great articles. Let your husband help with baths and diaper changes and house stuff while you just nurse and sleep and nurse and sleep. It will get better very soon.

ETA: if she sleeps 4 hours, you should really be sleeping. Waking her to feed her when she is not hungry is not going to help any one. Really, she is doing fine. I can hear a little bit if panic in your posts, but from what i see here, everything is really fine and you have nothing to worry about. Is there something that would ease your mind?

harmonicbabe26 · November 2014

Sounds like the first growth spurt.

Also, don't listen to people telling you not to wake baby to feed - you're the mom and you know baby best! My DD was the same. If I let her wake feom hunger on her own she would get SOOO frantic and upset, and fill up on food fast that she's get awful gas and in turn scream for an hour after...

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

harmonicbabe26 said:
Sounds like the first growth spurt.

Also, don't listen to people telling you not to wake baby to feed - you're the mom and you know baby best! My DD was the same. If I let her wake feom hunger on her own she would get SOOO frantic and upset, and fill up on food fast that she's get awful gas and in turn scream for an hour after...

I think it's a little premature to advise waking her for feeding every 2.5 hours when she had trouble only one time after letting her sleep for four hours and the baby is already back to birth weight.

CNYBride05 · November 2014

Oh no mama! Do not lose hope and don't throw in the towel! She's growing like a weed and nursing like an champ - it'll even out soon, I promise. For now, get a big water bottle, a bunch of snacks, a good book/mag/iPad/whatever and hunker down and nurse that sweet girl

JamieK1882 · November 2014

Thanks everyone. The biggest hurdle is really getting her to latch. She'll get on my boob, suck once or twice, then start screaming. I'm not sure what to do.

TheBorg7of9 · November 2014

I think, since you say that you do eventually get her latched, that this will just improve with time. I know it's hard. But soon it will be much easier. Please stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You're doing great! Talk to your OB about your feelings if you think you are getting overwhelmed.

Thewizardofrhythm · November 2014

Keep up the good work! I promise its worth it. I described a bit in your other post what I did but ill tell you again in more detail. When LO goes to latch hold your nipple so it forms a flat fleshy shape that your LO can grab onto like biting a sandwhich. Since youll be using your other hand to hold LO, have a third person drop breastmilk from an eyedroper into LOs mouth down your nipple. This will let her associate the nipple with milk. Once she latches, have the third person lightly squeeze your breast each time she sucks so that she doesnt have to work so hard to stimulate let down. It may take her several tries (or feedings) to latch but try not to get discouraged. You can feed her expressed milk with an eyedropper or a small cup in the interim if youre worried about nipple confusion. This is what i did. It was work but within 24 hrs my son was back on track. Also, since my husband had to help, he really began to appreciate how much work breastfeeding is for the mamas. It was really good for our relationship and for his connection with our son. My babe is 5 weeks now and breastfeeding is going great. I was in tears the entire time i went through what you are and i was also so close to quitting. But, im so glad i didnt! You got this!

flcl · November 2014

PPs have given lots of good advice and info. I just wanted to chime in that it seems like you're doing a great job. BF was so difficult for us in the beginning, too, with one challenge after another. This board has been so supportive and 8 months later, we're still going strong. Good luck, hang in there, you can do it!

whitney4126 · November 2014

Sounds normal. My LO is 10 weeks now and we had every issue in the book (except supply, probably because she cluster fed like yours in the beginning), and the first month was hell and I really didn't enjoy it. I'm not going to go into all of that, but I would just reiterate what PPs said about visiting Kellymom.com. Also using resources such as a lactation consultant and la leche league meetings are priceless. I just mainly wanted to say that I stuck with it through so many issues and it took a solid 6 weeks for it not to suck. Now it's so rewarding and I'm so glad I didn't give up. Hang in there!