I am tired of stupid advice.

Charmedseed · November 2014

I swear, the next time someone comes at me with some negative "omg your life is ending/do all the things you wanna do before baby comes/all your friends are gone now" bullshit, I am going to punch a bitch. WHY do people both with and without children insist that your life ends when baby's begins? What the hell kind of example is that to set for a kid? I mean I'm all about 'infant needs you 24/7,' that's a fucking given, but I don't expect to stop LIVING because I've given birth. I plan to live MORE, child by my side, and give that kid something to see and experience and remember for the rest of their lives.

This angry rant brought to you by someone on FB who was all, "Do all the things you want to do in the next 4 years NOW, because you will never get to do them" kind of bullshit. Super practical unwanted advice there, douchebag.

Unknown · November 2014

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allurah2014 · November 2014

I've heard this so much or "sleep now because you won't get to later"...oh let me just bottle that sleep now. Your life will change but not in a negative way. DH and I didn't plan DD either, but are now so happy to have her on our team...sleepless nights and all. It's an adjustment, but as long as you stay flexible and roll with the punches you're in for the most rewarding adventure of your life. Having this tiny human laying on my chest with her arms around my neck as I type this is worth more than anything money can buy. Good luck to you.

missamERICA · November 2014

I feel sorry for those people if they already have children, because they are clearly missing it and chances are their children see/feel that too. I was one of those people who went out all the time, however now, I cannot imagine my life without my son. Just as you said, bring them with you - it's how they learn to behave in public, interact with people, etc. Not to mention it opens their mind and helps their curiosity fly - which will come with questions... most of which will make you laugh.. .some will make you think, and others might make you cry.
You DO need to have those times when you still get to experience life on your own. Whether it's a simple dinner date with your s/o, or a trip away with your girlfriends, whatever. But the time spent with your kids shouldn't be seen as a burden or as a sacrifice. Trust me... the joy, laughter and photo ops my child presents on a daily basis is 100x better than anything that ever happened at a bar or club.

taahira · November 2014

As a mother of 2 already, everyone told me the same thing when I was expecting my first. I thought the same, my life will not change our LO will just come along with us. There is a level of adjustment, and change. No my life didn't stop, it did change and develop, life takes a little more organization and compromise.

Charmedseed · November 2014

unconventionalatbest said:
Just some advice: don't raise your arms above your head because it will get your baby tangled up in the cord.

I had a good chuckle at that!

Charmedseed · November 2014

MY PEOPLE.

powellwj · November 2014

Oh girl. I have had the worst advice!!! (Including the hands above your head one)
I have just started being super honest with folks:
(it's cold here) "YOU NEED TO PUT MORE CLOTHES ON THE BABY IS COLD." "Actually, the baby is approximately 98.6 degrees, likely more as my BBT is higher during pregnancy."
"Sleep when the baby sleeps!!!" "I doubt I will sleep 18 hours a day, but thanks, I suppose that I will hire someone to do all of my housework while I go into a coma."
(my PERSONAL favorite) "You are definitely going to want to take more than 6 weeks of maternity leave!!!" (6 weeks is the max my company will pay... and only at ~32% of my normal pay) "Is this an offer to pay my mortgage? Thanks!!!"

Maybe it's bitchy, but it's effective. Not to mention, most folks giving the advice haven't been good friends, mostly coworkers and acquaintances, so I am not afraid to be a touch frosty.

Good luck!!!

Amstreagle · November 2014

Life doesn't end. Your priorities change but it's I worth it. Right now I have ds cuddling my as I read these posts and there's no where I'd rather be. You friends without children are probably just upset they won't get as much time with you and I've found those with children like to make it seem horrible and like they're the only ones capable of raising a child. Be prepared for more unwanted input!

nilvero · November 2014

Life definitely doesn't end but it changes. You have to think about that LO before you do things. My LO is 12 weeks old today and DH and I have gone out on a date night and gone to my friend's wedding like we would have before he got here. Just took some planning and coordination to do it. I wouldn't change anything now that he is here.

Whitfry · November 2014

MauiBliss said:
I just got back from an Ironman race and two of my teammates were telling me all about how it is totally doable to still race and train, you just make adjustments and learn to accept that your kids come first and some days, training won't go as planned. Same thing with another friend who still shows her horse with two under 3. You figure it out. It's your choice to let go of your whole life or to find a way to make your child and your parenting a part of your life.

That's my two cents anyway.

If you ever do the Coeur d' Alene Ironman I'll babysit for you. No joke!

ekhull12 · November 2014

I am only 21 and am dealing with this a lot. When we got pregnant, I had quit taking my birth control because I had been on it for 5 years. My boyfriend and I had discussed how we would feel if we got pregnant and he is 28 so he decided that he was ready to be a father. I have always felt more like a 30 year old trapped in 20 something body and had had baby fever for a couple years. It may sound nuts, but I was ready. We are both thrilled and neither one of us feel like our lives are over like everyone keeps saying. We are happy and excited and though we probably will not be prepared for everything pregnancy and having a baby brings we are ready to take on the adventure. I keep getting comments like "did you all plan this", "were you not on birth control?!", "do you think youll get married soon?' "prepare to never sleep again", and my favorite "youll wish you had been more careful". I wish people realized that we KNOW we will get less sleep, never be bored again, never have a moment to ourselves, but its all going to be worth it!

JNCPro3130 · November 2014

I take what everyone says with a grain of salt. I had people tell me how awful pregnancy was going to be. I've have a very smooth pregnancy and I know I am lucky, but I feel like people in general are too negative. People try for years and years to have a child, so I am not going to spend my time being negative about how my life is going to change. I am thinking of all the positives instead. For example, I may be up late with a baby, but I will also get to cuddle my sweet baby and read him stories. I'm sure my little guy will have temper tantrums, but what about all those adorable little smiles I will get to experience. I'm a FTM, and I know it will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but I love my son too much to focus on all the hard things to come. Just my opinion.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

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SeventyThree · November 2014

allurah2014 said:

I've heard this so much or "sleep now because you won't get to later"...oh let me just bottle that sleep now. Your life will change but not in a negative way. DH and I didn't plan DD either, but are now so happy to have her on our team...sleepless nights and all. It's an adjustment, but as long as you stay flexible and roll with the punches you're in for the most rewarding adventure of your life. Having this tiny human laying on my chest with her arms around my neck as I type this is worth more than anything money can buy. Good luck to you.

Ahahaha, I love it! This is the one I heard the most when I announced my pregnancy. Yes I'm sure sleeping 12 hours a day right now will be REALLY HELPFUL to me 6 months down the line. Thank you for that sage advice. =D>

I'm a FTM but I have a good friend who's a downer about this stuff sometimes, like she'll say it's the best thing ever but in the next breath basically tells me I won't have a life anymore. Of course I'm expecting things to change in a big way, but that doesn't automatically mean everything has to go on hold! Ugh, I know the unsolicited/negative advice is only going to get worse once the baby is here, too.

32elyse · November 2014

Let's look at it this way... think of how often people hear this... I got no sleep last night because of baby, or I can't go to dinner/party because of baby? Not all but some parents use their kids as an excuse not to go out. Some even complain about their kids none stop. I am guilty or have been guilty of those.
I'm sure some of the advice is not meant to be serious. I always jokingly told new moms that they will never get to go to the bathroom alone again.
Yes I do understand some of the advice is just down right ridiculous. It just gets worse though. Good luck :-)

Unknown · November 2014

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theinvadermothership · November 2014

I think it's condescending to assume I'm not preparing for the changes a baby will make in my life. Sure i won't be 100% sure until she comes, but i educate myself by reading, asking questions to my midwives and friends/family who are moms and i want THEIR advice. The crappy, 'better sleep now' advice just makes me raise my brows and say, 'oh really? I thought she'd sleep thru the night day one... gee...'

Also i don't go to the bathroom alone at home bc i have cats... let me tell you, there are days i have a full audience... or someone who wants to be on my lap... #-o

Charmedseed · December 2014

We have two greyhounds and I basically haven't gone to the bathroom alone for three years. Nothing new there.

staciecoffey · December 2014

I love how much people chime in on everything!! " don't find out the sex, it's the best surprise ever", "you're drinking days are over", while I may not get drunk, I sure as hell am going to enjoy a beer after LO is asleep. And all the your body is going to be ruined, if by ruined you mean stretch marks and peeing a little when I laugh? Bring it on!!

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